What has gone before:
Me: This is not a sensible plan…(SNIP) A couple who “just has as many kids as come along” will, if they stick to this plan, wind up with, what? Ten children? Twelve? Fifteen? More?
Shaky Jake: First, what is so senseless or irresponsible about this, based solely on number of kids? My wife is one of seven, I have aunts who had 8 and 10. Not a deranged killer among the moms. While it may not be your cup of tea (and isn’t mine - see “vasectomy”), there is nothing inherently wrong or bad about large families -at least “locally” (not considering impacts on population growth and environment/resource use)
Me: I’d say that the decision to adhere to their plan and keep having babies was the husband’s. The wife simply lacked the will to resist him.
Shaky Jake: Perhaps, but again perhaps not. As far as we know, she wanted kid #5 more than he did. What is your opinion based on? Your refusal to believe that she may have wanted each child, that she could have acted irresponsibly with regards to her own mental health and the interests of her children? It sounds more like a desire to paint her as a victim, largely absolving her of responsibility, and transferring at least moral culpability to the husband.
Start of new material – my reply to Shaky Jake’s comments on my post:
First, re this couple’s plan. It seems plain that having child after child, and home schooling them, was too much for this mother. It’s one thing to start out with a plan to have a very large family, with the children very closely spaced. I’m sure it’s not too unusual for young people to think, “I love children! I want lots! I want to devote my life to raising children.” But this way of life is surely not for everyone. If, after having four kids one right after the other, you realize it’s not for you, the thing to do is call a halt, and start using contraception. I would say that a postpartum depression severe enough to cause two suicide attempts is a good indication that it’s time to rethink your life plan. (One of her brothers was quoted today - 06/30/01 - on CNN as having said she tried twice to kill herself.)
Second, re their decision to have a 5th child. It’s my belief that a severely depressed person is just not capable of making good decisions or of standing up to anyone. Basically, they don’t make decisions at all. They just try to get through the day. Getting out of bed, getting dressed, eating something, breathing in and out – just doing these sorts of things takes enormous effort. Making plans? Thinking ahead? Making decisions? Changing a course of action on which one has already embarked? Forget it; it’s not going to happen. If the spouse, parent, friend, or whatever of the depressed person wants them to do something, they’ll probably just do it, whatever it is. “Huh? Oh, yeah, okay. Whatever” is the most likely response to anything Or the depressed person may at first say “no” to just about everything, from going to the movies to having another baby, but gives in and goes along whenever the other person is persistant about it. It’s easier to go along.