ang on, Let me transfer you to some one who CARES!

The BBQ Pit
1

That’s a line I’m just waiting to use at work. You see, our former Customer Service Department has just changed its name to, get this, Customer Care!

What is is this happy horse shit? I can’t imagine a customer who would rather speak to “Customer Care” instead of “Customer Service.” It sounds hokie and, might I add, phoney.

Personally, I’d rather talk to someone who is going to provide the service I’m requesting. I don’t give a flying fuck if he cares about me as long as he does what I’m looking for.

Does Customer Care just answer the phone and ask the customer how things are going? Maybe offer a little moral support?

I can just picture it:

Customer Care: [Bubbly voice] Hello, Customer Care Department, how are you today?

Customer: Uhh…fiiine.

CC: Super! That’s a great attitude to have!

C: Umm, yeah, thanks.

CC: No, thank you.

C: Yeah, whatever. Look, I got my checking account statement in the mail today and it says my account is overdrawn.

CC: Oooh, I’m sorry. Has the downturn in the economy had an adverse effect on you?

C: No. You guys screwed up. You didn’t credit my account for the $5000 deposit I made last week.

CC: $5000!? Wow, you must be doing well for yourself. I bet your parents are proud!! Keep it up!

C: Thanks, but I’d really like to this straightened out.

CC: I’m sure it’s just that type of go-get-em attitude that’s put you where you are today.

C: Look, you’re not listening, I deposited $5000 and you guys apparently lost it!

CC: Oh, I knooow. Things like this can really be a bummer. But you’ll get through it. And if you ever need someone to, ya know, just talk to? We’ll be here for you, because we care. Bye bye now, there’s a man on my other line who’s having a really bad day. Apparently some bank or thingy took his car away. You take care, ok? Bye now. [click]

C: What about my fucking $5000!!!???!!!

[Hey, I know this isn’t the normal scathing rant you find in The Pit, but no other forum really seemed to fit. I actually find the whole thing more humorous than anything else.]

2

The title, of course, should be Hang on…

(Preview damnit!)

3

that’s pretty funny LOL
prolly belongs in MPSIMS, but still funny!

4

I did the phone answering job for about a month because I was desperate for food money. It drove me nuts the first week, then the second week I realized I could get away with murder and slacked off, telling them all what they wanted to hear and just transfering anyone to anywhere. Somebody would sort it out.
By the third week I felt so guilty I would go home depressed every night. The fourth week I couldn’t face the pressure and let most people die on hold, or cut them off so they’d dial again and get somebody new. Then I found another job and quit, but it was some emotional ride, for them and me.

5

My sympathies, Gazoo.

The company I was recently employed with was trying to decide what to name the customer service department.

Somebody suggested “Customer Care”.

I replied, “Hey, we’re a software company, not a hospice.” I also pointed out that it’s absurd to have a name implying to customers that we care, when there’s no way we can guarantee that we care. And the company isn’t willing to pay the kind of bucks required to get the employees to really, truly care. :wink:

Enjoy the laughs!

Jeyen

6

Yup, this sounds like another example of stupidity dreamed up by corporate HQ people who either never had experience on the front lines or have forgotten it entirely. Other examples include the good old 10 ft. rule and McDonalds memos encouraging staff to smile more.

7

Customer Care and Customer Service both sound bad. I mean, I can see someone calling up and saying “Yeah, I need service!”

Oh well…

8

Excellent point, Saint Zero. I imagine that most “customer service” reps are not in the servicing habit. At least for strangers!

How YOU doin’? Can I service you? :smiley:

Jeyen

[sub]PS – Yes, I read about your married status and Mississipi location in another post, so I assume you’ll turn me down, but the opportunity to offer was too good to pass up. Maybe with the right request your wife will service you![/sub]

9

I hate them there Customer Care kinda bastards. They is always telling me they don’t understand what me be saying to them! They don’t be understanding regular English that we normal are talking each day? Poo on them I say POO ON THEM!

10

The Customer Care drek in the OP sounds awfully like the girl I saw who greeted people at the visitors centre to a local Morman Temple. Saccharine … yuck …

Do you think there’s a common breeding ground out there for these people??!!?

11

No. they are grown in a lab. In Pittsburgh, Transylvania IIRC.

12

http://www.customerssuck.com is a great place to vent. It saved my sanity.

Customer CARE? Oh, that’s rich. I just love these corporate policies, don’t you?

13

Well, I now have half of the bank drooling for their first opportunity to transfer a customer to “someone who cares.” Hee hee. Not one person I spoke to today thought it was good idea to change the department to Customer Care.

Another point - do they care about, or care for the customer? I hope the prior, because if I see customers coming in for their daily bottle feeding and diaper change, I’m quitting!

14

When I was 5 or so, I was waiting in line with my dad at some kind of variety store, like Target. I saw a desk with a sign reading “Courtesy Counter” hanging over it. I could read it but not comprehend it (yes, I was one of those early readers) so I asked my dad.

Him: That’s where people go if they have a complaint.

Me: Then why don’t they call it the Complaint Counter?

Him: Because that sounds nasty. They call it Courtesy because they want people to think they’ll be treated courteously over there [dry cough].

15

Our job has not changed the name of Customer Service (thank God, I don’t think I could handle Customer Care), but they did change the name of the collections department to Revenue Assurance. I think that is a wee bit worse. I am very happy I don’t work in that department.

16

Not only did I get the memo, I had to sit through an 8 hour convention on smiling at McD’s. We watched videos, we did skits, we sang songs…and by the time 5 pm came around, I was ready to hang myself with the string from the helium balloons. At least it was paid…I could never put up with all that crap for free.

BTW, did you know McDonalds is ranked last in every customer satisfaction survey? Wendy’s was top, followed by BK, Taco Bell, and a few other places. Not bad considering all the business we still get…