Animals in the Olympics

Just a stray topic that came up over dinner: if you could have animals on your Olympic team, which animals would work best for each sport?

Dolphins for the Water Polo team is a given. And probably all the other swimming events.

Cheetahs for the 100 yard dash.

Wolves for the Marathon.

Gorillas for the weightlifting events, though another person thought elephants would beat them, assuming the rules are really strict on using hands on the bar.

Orangutans for high bar gymnastics.

Any non-flightless bird would made long/high jump contest risible.
(Let’s ignore difficulties with getting the point of the sport over to the animal, and details like the contestants choosing to eat their human opponents…)

Gibbons for the uneven bars.

grizzly bear: wrestling
kangaroo: long jump and triple jump

Pronghorns would probably leave them in the dust. This site says:

Various Googling suggests wolves top out around 35-40 mph, which they can maintain for only a limited time.

I think we did this topic not too long ago…

[Cmon Hamsters…]

Can’t find it in the Game Room-know we did it tho.

An elephant as goalie in hockey (Winter Olympics).

A marathon with seeing-eye dogs?
Wait, I think I’ve missed the point of this thread.

Horses for something . . .

Fleas for the high jump.

Here you go – GQ rather than Game Room, but you can’t have everything.

Monkeys for the equestrian sports.

Probably wouldn’t confer any advantage, but it would make the Olympics worth watching!

Butterflys and bees in boxing

(Muhammad Ali famously said about his fighting style: float like a butterfly, sting like a bee)

I tried playing water polo but my horse drowned.

Thank you, I’ll be here all week.

Googling, it appears that sailfish are the fastest swimming animals, not dolphins. So for any event requiring speed above all else, it’s sailfish that you’d want. They jump well too.

And then we could introduce some new swimming events: Next up, the 500 meter freestyle hurdles!

Fleas are terrible high-jumpers. They jump many times their height, but that’s just because their height is tiny: Jumping height doesn’t actually scale with the size of an animal.

And if nothing else, equestrian monkeys would have the advantage of being much lighter than human jockeys.

A human marathon runner would very certainly beat any canine on the planet.

Humans’ most impressive physical trait is endurance. A human can run most animals into the ground.

Unless the wolf goes for the human’s Achilles just as the race starts.

How fast can a bird wing itself – freestyle, you understand – from Point A to Point B while its talons scrape the surface of the water?