Annoying Historical Myths

[tomndebb]

Henry VIII did not behead all six of his wives, goddammit!

Only two of them.

Actually, he did not even behead those two. He simply suggested to the proper authorities that it would be a good idea to bring charges of treason (and the appropriate punishment) against persons who might have provided the crown with illegitimate claimants and then allowed the authorities do do what needed to be done. *::: d & r ::: *

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The U.S. won its war for independence by wisely shooting from behind protection while the “foolish” British and Hessian troops fought in the “old style” standing shoulder to shoulder. gah!

[Jimmy_Joe_Meager]

I am both handsome and charming.

[sugaree]

Oooh, this might be widespread only in America: Henry VIII had interesting relationships with all eight of his wives.

[Find_Friends]

@skutir

Hitler was the asshole of Europe, and after Germany froze its ass off in the Russian wilderness, he ceased to exist, much like hole of a donut that’s been eaten.

What’s offensive about the “We saved your ass,” myth is that Europe was begging the US to get involved long before they did, yet there’s a belief that the US popped up off the couch and rushed over there as soon as there was just cause.

Here’s something else. Correct me if I’m wrong. When the US finally did enter, they prioritized total defeat for Nazi Germany, in spite of being attacked by Hirohito’s Japanese Empire. BUT, the important role the US played in the European Theatre should not be used to eclipse the Soviet Union’s pivotal part in defeating Hitler.

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True Blue Jack

[Eve]

@skutir

Hitler was the asshole of Europe, and after Germany froze its ass off in the Russian wilderness, he ceased to exist, much like hole of a donut that’s been eaten.

What’s offensive about the “We saved your ass,” myth is that Europe was begging the US to get involved long before they did, yet there’s a belief that the US popped up off the couch and rushed over there as soon as there was just cause.

joke n.

1. Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
2. A mischievous trick; a prank.
3. An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation.
   *Informal. *
   a. Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: “The accident was no joke.”
   b. An object of amusement or laughter; a laughingstock: “His loud tie was the joke of the office.”

[WernhamHogg]

@Eve

joke n.

1. Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
2. A mischievous trick; a prank.
3. An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation.
   *Informal. *
   a. Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: “The accident was no joke.”
   b. An object of amusement or laughter; a laughingstock: “His loud tie was the joke of the office.”

What in my posts suggests I didn’t get that yours was a joke? Has my reputation for humorlessness preceded me?

[Ilsa_Lund]

@skutir

What in my posts suggests I didn’t get that yours was a joke? Has my reputation for humorlessness preceded me?

furt told them that you’re a humorless git with a stick up his ass.

[Spiny_Norman]

The French military is a joke that has surrendered at any given opportunity.

Simply ain’t true.

[Tapioca_Dextrin]

So, I was watching the history channel last night. Or the Hitler Channel as it’s more accurately known. True to form, we were being treated to a fascinating four hour history of the SS. The first hour is devoted to to struggle between the SS and the SA. The SA was Hitler’s working class army of thugs and issued with brown a brown uniform. They were known as brownshirts. They often wore shorts.

And then up pops a little logo thing pops up in the bottom left …

What can brown do for you?

What the hell? When the revolution comes will UPS’s advertising department be the first ones up against the wall? Or is UPS some sort of sinister right wing front?

[Tapioca_Dextrin]

@Tapioca Dextrin

So, I was watching the history channel

And it caused me to post in the wrong place :rolleyes:

[Michael_Ellis]

@ZebraShaSha

Vikings wore helmets with horns on them.

Aw damn. That really ruined my afternoon. I love those hats!

[kniz]

@Neurotik

What the hold fucking fuck?.. Give me an effing break.

Let’s see the rule must be that after a double “fuck” you must use “effing” at the next opportunity.

[kniz]

@Necro Romancer

Catherine the Great was killed while trying to have sex with a horse.

Are you saying she succeeded?

[Mr.Miskatonic]

@skutir

What’s offensive about the “We saved your ass,” myth is that Europe was begging the US to get involved long before they did, yet there’s a belief that the US popped up off the couch and rushed over there as soon as there was just cause.

Poland can pretty much say the same thing with regards to France and England.

[RandMcnally]

@Francesca

“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”

Voltaire never said this. It’s a very noble thing to say, but he never said it. I promise you. Please stop misattributing this quote to him.

Who said this then (not being an asshole, I’d really like to know)?

American Indians were primative savages who were lucky the Euopeans came along.

Ponce de Leon when toe Florida to find the fountain of youth.

Some of you may be interested in Lies My Teacher Told Me by James W. Loewen.

[MsRobyn]

@Necro Romancer

Catherine the Great was killed while trying to have sex with a horse.

Last week, after an informative lecture on Ivan the Dread and the beginnings of the Romanov dynasty, I asked my history professor about this. (Yes, I know it’s not true. I do read the Straight Dope, after all.)

He blamed the Austrians for that one.

Robin

[Llama_Llogophile]

“Good luck Mr. Gorsky.”

[RickJay]

AS long as WWII myths are coming up:

“Hitler delayed the production of jet fighters by insisting they be able to dive bomb.”

This isn’t true. Actually, it was Ernst Udet who help up plane production with this silly order, and he ended up killing himself anyway. The Me-262 was held up by other problems, not the least of which was the propensity of some of the engine parts to melt, which you don’t like to see in a jet engine.

Martin Wolf already got my least favourite historical myth, though.

[Necro_Romancer]

@kniz

Are you saying she succeeded?

With flying colors! She began with ponies you know.

[Mikahw]

People generally believed that the earth was flat, right up to Columbus’ discovery of America

That’s nothing. My high school history teacher said that columbus died still thinking that the world was flat.