monstro:
I don’t KNOW why. I know she annoys me sometimes, but I don’t know that she annoys others to the same degree. Nor do I know that her annoying ways are why she was excluded.
Because she takes her butthurt on me, that’s why. If she finds out that she was excluded from a project that I was involved in, she’s not going to just lash out at her rival in the other department who organized the project. She’s going to also throw shade at me–something that would disrupt our working relationship.
She’s not my friend. She’s my team member. And no, it isn’t my place to tell her why she’s been excluded from a meeting. Especially since 1) it ain’t my meeting, 2) I don’t know why she was excluded, and 3) she isn’t likely to be receptive to the kind of feedback I might be tempted to give her.
She’s not my friend. She’s a coworker who I work closely with and is therefore someone I need to be on good terms with. I care about people’s feelings even if I don’t like them enough to call them a friend.
Reading between the lines here - it seems like co-worked may not be the easiest person to work with,
monstro:
I can only see myself using this approach if my boss is NOT the meeting organizer. Typically, it’s either my boss or her boss that is the meeting organizer. The project in the OP is a little unusual in that it isn’t being managed by anyone with authority over me. I think that’s why I’m feeling a bit more guilt than I normally would.
If one of my bosses sends me an invitation, I’m gonna figure she/he knows exactly what they are doing and not question their invitation list.
True. I might ask boss “what’s up with the guest list” under those circumstances.
lorene:
See, I hate it when my meeting invites get forwarded without the person asking me before forwarding. I’d say maybe 25% of the time, it’s my oversight and the rest of the time I was spot on in my invite list. A phone call or an email before you forward my invite is greatly appreciated. The exception to this is a c-level person delegating the meeting to someone who works for them. And even then, if I invite the SVP to a meeting, it’s gotta be a pretty important project and I’d like some input into who they delegate to (within reason). There’s a project I’m working on right now that demands C-suite input as they are major stakeholders and delegating that one out would be tricky.
^ This, absolutely this. As a mid-senior level manager who schedules and attends a LOT of meetings, much thought goes in to inviting the tightest number of people necessary. If you are invited and think someone else should be, let me know. Please don’t forward it on your own. It could be that I’ll add them to the invite, it could be that I won’t. I want the right people there, but do not want to end up with a group so large that nothing gets accomplished.