My bosskeeps hinting that I need to invite her to my wedding. She “jokes” that she’s going to crash if she doesn’t get an invite… but we all know she doesn’t joke. If she “jokes” that you’re getting audited tomorrow, you’re getting audited tomorrow. I’m not inviting any of my coworkers; it’s friends and family and I haven’t become friends with any of them. Plus, at $20 a head, to invite the entire office and their spouses would be over $500. When people at the office have asked about the wedding, I let them know nicely that, though we wish we could invite everyone both of us work with, it’s just not financially feasible. My coworkers understand that and are fine with it. My boss, however, thinks that because she’s my boss, I need to invite her. She even said, “just invite me to the dance. I don’t need dinner, I like free beer!”
Some people have said that she probably thinks she’s invited because I talk about the wedding at work. I’m under the “don’t talk unless specifically asked” rule. I know I’m not going to invite them. I’m not going around spilling my guts about my cake just 'cause I’m excited. I mean, if someone asks me, “Are you getting excited about the wedding?” or “How are the plans going?” I provide a short but polite answer, like “I’m really excited. It’ll be beautiful.” or “The plans are going pretty well. Still have a lot to do though.” and I leave it at that.
There are times I’ve had to let my boss know about wedding related appointments for scheduling reasons. One time she changed the schedule last minute and I had an appointment with my seamstress to get the dress altered and I had to tell her about it. I had to take the time off for the wedding/honeymoon. I have a hair appointment three weeks before the wedding to get it cut and colored that I had to let her know about for scheduling purposes. Usually I try the “I have an appointment on such and such day at such and such time and need to be done by such and such time.” Then she presses to know what it’s for and all that.
Whenever I see her, I get anxious. She’s been so terrible to me that there is no way on Og’s green earth that I want to see her on the happiest day of my life. With her, it’s not the cost issue, it’s the she’s a meanie reason. I sooo want to say to her “My wedding is for friends and family only; by what stretch of the imagination are you and I friends?” But she is known for retaliating and bullying (see above link), so I’m not sure how to “let her down easy.”
Any advice? Any ideas? How can I gently tell her I don’t want her there?