Theres this wedding that a friend from church is having and everyone is talking about it but I have not gotten an invitiation. I asked about it and they said the date and that it was at such and such a park and I was wondering if I could just show up at the park wedding without an invitiation? It seems to be a fairly large wedding and most of the people going are people I know as well as the bride and groom.
And I seem to be the only one at my church not invited. I have also asked people what time it is and noone seems to remember.
Don’t go. If they wanted you there you would have been invited. Since no one else will tell you what time it is that is a good sign that you weren’t left off the list unintentionally.
It’s possible you weren’t invited for some reason, in which case it would be quite awkward to ask the bride or groom about it, and in which case you shouldn’t show up. However, it’s also possible is that you’re meant to be invited but the invitation didn’t get to you for some reason (this happened to me once). My suggestion is get a mutual friend to discreetly ask the bride or groom if you were supposed to get an invitation, and if so let them know it didn’t arrive.
I think it’s better to assume you weren’t invited and to not make too big a deal about it. It’s their special day. Let them do with it what they will, even if your invitation was just mistakenly left off. However, I think in today’s day and age, it’d be pretty difficult for someone to get lost in the shuffle.
A “friend from church” is not what I would normally think of as wedding guest material. You sound more like an aquaintance.
I have to echo this. When my wife and I sent out our wedding inviations, about 20 of them were lost, and we didn’t figure out why we had such a bad response rate until one friend responded with “my +1 is Kathy!” to which we said "wait, we sent Kathy an invitation, why is she a +1? Turns out she never got the invitation.
But, it would be quite socially inept to ask the bride/groom directly, if they didn’t want you there, so I’d approach a member of the wedding party if possible, or a mutual friend if not, and see if something is going on.
I highly doubt that no one can remember the time of the wedding, they are attempting to be nice, but they don’t want to share that information with you.
You were not invited.
You should graciously accept that for whatever reason they are choosing not have you at their wedding. Please do not just show up, that would be very awkward for everyone involved.
It wasn’t until 7 years after our wedding that we found out Sr. Weasel’s cousins didn’t receive our wedding invitations. It was a bit of a scandal in the family that they weren’t invited, I guess, and we never had a clue.
ETA: Compelling reason to actually call people who haven’t RSVPed!
Go, but wear the most elaborate dark midnight purple dress you can find, with a Victorian collar, and powder your face to be totally white, and wear crimson lipstick. Hide inside the covered slide on the playground and wait until all the toasts are done. Then, just as they’re getting ready to cut the cake, slide down the slide and emerge, shouting,
Then disappear in a puff of smoke. (Or, if you can’t, just run off as fast as you can.)
Ok, I’m changing my answer to agree with Left Hand of Dorkness.
Nah. My favorite wedding shen (which would only work if the perpetrator is not known to the audience, and preferably not to the wedding party) is this:
You are dressed dramatically (the aforementioned purple dress etc. is fine unless you’re male and it’s not a drag wedding; a morning suit or tux would be better).
The minister gets to the point about “If anyone here has any reason…” and the audience waits expectantly to move on.
You stand up.
You slowly approach the wedding party and carefully examine the bride and groom, from a 360-degree circuit if there’s room.
You stand straight, adjust your clothing, and in the most dignified boom you can manage, proclaim: “Sorry. Wrong wedding.” and make your exit.
I would have agreed that it was a possible lost invitation until the whole “nobody remembers what time the wedding is” statement. Obviously others are aware that jashley is not invited.
I think you already know the answer. Why would you even consider going somewhere when you’d feel foolish the whole time there? W/O an invitation DO NOT GO.
They didn’t invite you, stop making it weird for everyone by asking about it.
I know you said the wedding is in the park, but since it’s a friend from church, is this a “church” wedding? In most churches, wedding ceremonies are open, public services. You don’t need an invitation to attend and the bride/groom really don’t have a right to exclude you any more than they could ask you not to come to a baptism or funeral. I’d assume this is doubly true if the ceremony is held in a public park.
The wedding reception, however, is a different story - that’s a private party and you should not attend without an invitation.
Congratu…wait, you want to go?
When I recently got married, my sister in law handled the invitations and she accidentally left my uncle off the invitation list (even though I gave her his address).
So, yes, it is POSSIBLE that they meant to invite you but just made a mistake.
However sometimes people have to limit who they invite to a wedding because of finances. Most of the time, the married couple has to pay per guest for the food at the reception and so forth, so it’s quite possible that they chose not to invite you because they couldn’t afford to feed any more people.
If you really wanted to push the issue, you could say something like “I know that you guys probably already set your guest list, but I’d love to stop by and wish you well if you have any unexpected openings in the guest list” but then if they don’t invite you even after that, drop it and stop asking people. Try not to take it personally, since as mentioned above, it may not be anything against you - it might jsut be that they had to draw the line somewhere and couldn’t afford to pay for any other guests.
And, yes, it would look really weird if you just showed up when they didn’t invite you.
How are they aware Im not invited?
HUH? How would people not know who they invited to their wedding?
The most you can do is ask someone else if they know if you were supposed to be invited. You don’t sound like a close friend or relative they would feel bad about leaving out, so you shouldn’t bother them personally. If it turns out you were left off the list accidentally, and you find out either before or after the wedding, gracefully tell them you understand, and never mention it again. If you never find out anything else never mention it again anyway. Do not go to the wedding if you are not invited. Don’t go anywhere near that park if you weren’t invited.