Back in January, brother #3 entered hospital, had pnuemonia, went on life support. Lungs collapsed. Removed life support and he joined the choir above. He was 43.
Last week, brother #2 went in with pnuemonia, everyone was hopeful - very hopeful that he would recover. He is on a vent to help him breath. He, like #3, has muscular dystrophy. He is not getting better, and he is not getting worse. He cannot stay on a vent for much longer because it messes up the internal organs with long term use. My mom has to make the decision whether or not do a traceotomy. He cannot breath on his own. this decision might have to be made today or tomorrow.
He just turned 48 on Monday. He has no family of his own and no friends.
She is still blaming herself for brother #3 death and I really dread the moment of decision, (notsomuch for my brother but for my mom.)
The doctors were bringing him out of the sedation ( for reasons I am not entirely clear on) and I think they are doing it so that since he is a NO CODE , he will thrash about and try to remove his tubes, thus the medical staff cannot put it back in for him. I could only hope so.
I feel so spectacularly crappy for my mom it is not even fathomable. It’s not even 12 weeks since #3’s passing.
Everyone, whatever you believe in, pray for God/Whatever to take my brother and spare my mother from this horrid decision.
Shirley, I’m so sorry. Once again, my prayers are with you and your whole family. (Isn’t brother #1 dealing with the same illness? If so, must be really hard on him, knowing he could face this before too long himself.)
OK everyone, take out your notebooks and jot this down. This is probably the truest expression of love and compassion that you will ever see.
Shirley, I have always that one of the worst injustices in the world is for a parent to bury thier child. This has happened once and will happen again for your mother. I deeply hope that things go as you wish so as to keep the injustices from piling up.
I often read these types of threads, but rarely post in them. I felt compelled to send you some positive energy…
I can’t imagine anything more painful than losing a child. Your mother is an amazing woman, that she has had the strength to deal with the effects of this devastating disease on her children , all these years. My thoughts and heart are with you and your family.
Shirley, I’m very sorry to hear about your brothers.
I deal with life support issues in the ICU daily. Feel free to e-mail me and I’d be happy to answer any questions you may have regarding ventilators, sedation of patients on ventilators, and withdrawing life support.
Thanks for all the kind words and prayers, everyone. It really means a great deal to me.
After consideration and contemplation, my mom (and I) have decided to have my brother have the tracheotomy.(sp?). When he is brought up from the morphine, he shows alot of life (Unlike when brother number 3 was in)and we both decided (on our own before talking about it) that traching him, is an option that we (mom) can live with at this point. That way we can a) say we exhausted all the avenues open to us and b) if he doesn’t do well on it, make the decision knowing we did wall we could. He is on “no code”, meaning if his heart goes or he yanks out the tubes, the nurses/staff cannot revive him. And after traching him, he can still be a no code. The fact that I know this kind of stuff is really depressing.
Brother #1 also had MD and died from a pnuemonia related heart attack in 1994. My mom was not there for that. There is one more brother (#4, for the numerically impaired :)) who will more than likely be in the situation that all of them have been in in. He is a nurse and I can only hope to God/Whatever he and his wife talk about this stage and the whatifs and what to do’s, because I am not dealing with this again. I just want to wake up, get the phone call that so and so died and deal with it that way.
I pray that all of you never ever have to deal with something like this on such a close level.
If my Mom does not have a massive stroke by the end of this (all the boys dying) I, for one, will be impressed. Whn this brother was admitted, the staff did a double take at the man and the chart, because of the resemblance, disease and strange last name. The nurses are wonderful.
(ramble)I am very fortunate that I am able to park my kids at my inlaws house and bunk here (as I am pirating their computer right now) because I am about 8 miles from the hospital as opposed to 45.
The weirdest thing is that my mom and I will sit in Tom’s (#2) room with him laying there all hooked up and mom and I will just be chatting away for the longest time until a machine pings or Tom moves. It’s like we forget why we are there. It’s really a humbling experience. I must say though, we have the best conversations when in ICU units.
I wish I could say or do something to help. I’ve never been in your position, so I can’t even beging to fathom how horrible it must be for you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
