Another bum idea.

In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)
#1

My wife plays bowls and she told me some while ago that the majority of the old people “pass wind” when they bend down to bowl the ball or wood as it used to be called.

I came up with the idea of a little hollow “T” piece where the base of the “T” could be inserted into the rectum allowing gas to escape without the embarrassing rasping noise. The two shoulders would fit snugly into the crack and stop the devise from being lost forever.

They would have to be a “use one time” disposable item and to stop insects from making an entrance I guess that they could have a small amount of foam fitted inside the T.

#2

You realize this thread will leave you the butt of many jokes.

#3

I had two such devices…but I rectum.

#4

rectum…

Damn near killed 'em

Si

#5

It’s bum idea alright.

#6

How will it block solid matter from exiting?

#7

Put a whistle inside it instead and you have a hilarious novelty item.

#8

A similar device was a minor plot point in the Swedish comedy “Ägget är löst!” from 1975. Really.

#9

A real thing, and mentioned several times in passing (heh) in James Joyce’s Ulysses.

#10

We’ll call it the Bubb Rubb (and the Lil Sis for girls).

#11

I was going to market it as the ultimate “Who Done It”.

AaronX - You could say “why do you not pass solid matter when you pass wind”, but unless you have Delhi Belly, you don’t normally.

All jokes aside, I made one of these and wore it for a couple of days. It was not uncomfortable and it certainly worked extremely well, but I don’t play bowls.

#12

You lost me at “inserted into the rectum”.

#13

I think a duck call would be even better, or one of those novelty whistles with the little spinner inside (what are they called?)

#14

Now, I normally support the “no pics” policy on these boards, but…this post. I can’t handle it. This is precisely why God gave humanity jpegs of Philip J Fry.

Also,

are pants not an option?

#15

Thus far, I have yet to stop an insect wanting to explore, or nest in my arse.

Nay, ne’er have I seen, or felt one or its swarm waiting in silence or abuzz, by the entrance to my exit.

Old people only like things that are made of wood or lavender. So there’s your design fault right there. They do like T - when it’s in a cup; not packed in foam up their blurter.