Texas’s liquor laws are reason number 1,345 (out of about 5,000 at last count) why I can’t wait to move out of this state. 
My first run-in with ‘dry’ areas was the day after I moved to Texas (unfortunately, after I’d unpacked the van, or else I might’ve turned tail and fled right then), when I tried to go to our local Winn-Dixie and get a bottle of wine for dinner. After fifteen or so minutes of fruitless searching, I decided to get help.
* * * *
Me: (to courtesy desk clerk) “Excuse me, ma’am. I’m looking for the wine. Could you tell me where it is?”
Clerk: (looks at me as if I’m something unpleasant she found stuck to her shoe) The wine? We don’t sell no wine here!
Me: (kind of wondering what the big deal is) Uh…okay…is there a store in town that does?
Clerk: (turning red in the neck and face) We don’t sell no wine or likker in this city! This here’s a Christian community and it’s dry!
(At this point, I considered pointing out that according to the Bible, not only did Jesus drink wine, but he actually turned water into wine. However, it occurred to me that (a) nobody knew I was at the store and (b) for all I knew, she had a stake and a pile of dry firewood kept in the back of the store to take care of infidels like me, so I decided discretion was the better part of valor and chickened out of the theological argument.)
Me: Dry? But I noticed that you have a whole aisle of beer and malt coolers…just asking for clarification here, I just moved here from out of state.
Clerk: (obviously confused) Well, yeah, but that’s beer, it ain’t wine or likker.
* * * *
Well, duh. Like I couldn’t get just as drunk on beer as I could on wine or liquor. :rolleyes:
However, the idiocy of the situation doesn’t end there. I’m not sure how this works statewide, but in our county, each municipality decides what they will and will not sell. In ours, you can buy a beer or malt beverage pretty much anywhere – supermarkets, 7/11, what have you, provided it’s before 1 a.m. (And that is not 3.2 beer, btw – our local 7/11 carries just about any type of beer you could want, including Sam Adams.) You can buy anything you want at a bar (and there are several in our city and in the ones surrounding it.) You can also buy wine by the glass or bottle in a restaurant, but if you want to do that, you have to pay a buck to get a membership card (the proceeds of which goes to the city coffers, of course), which you must then schlep around to any other restaurants you go to in the area and show if you want to buy wine or a mixed drink there. (You don’t have to have one if you want beer with your dinner instead of wine.) They do the membership thing at Scarborough, our local Renaissance Faire, as well, only instead of a card, they give you a sticker to wear around on your garb all day.
OTOH, if I want to get a bottle of wine to drink with dinner, or even if I just need some sherry or brandy for cooking, I have to drive to either Fort Worth or Grapevine (both about 10 minutes away). In either place, I can just go into the grocery store and get whatever I want, other than hard liquor (I still have to go to a liquor store for that.)
Now, with all this, you’d think that drunk driving wouldn’t be much of a problem, but it’s quite the opposite. They didn’t even get around to passing an open container law until a few years ago, and IMHO, the penalties for DUI amount to a slap on the wrist. With all that, I’ve come to the conclusion that they want the law on the books for form’s sake, but have no real interest in promoting responsible drinking.
Gee, once I put it all together like that, it kind of reads like that part of Pulp Fiction where John Travolta’s character explains the Amsterdam hash laws, huh? 