As I mentioned up post, sometimes you get bit. Most of the time what it does do is give the newb the opportunity to learn where all the sections on base are, and get familiar with equipment they may not have seen. My victim of the rubber file eventually caught on after 5 or 6 locations where he might find it, but he now knew where Master Tool Crib, and the Tool Crib sections of 3 different squadrons were. the GI Jargon website had a complete list of some really great pranks, but it seems to be down now.
A lot depends on how you phrase it. A private or junior officer is inclined to follow an order when given sharply. If they hesitate, press them to go, quickly. Also making it sound urgent helps.
For example:
“Private, the Colonel isn’t happy that the equipment is still issue green. He’s wants it CADPAT so it blends in with everything else. We got a lot of stuff to paint and he’s going to be here in two hours. I want you to go to the QM and get 3 gallons of CADPAT paint. Listen, the QM can give you new guys a hard time, if he gives you any grief tell him its an emergency. Don’t come back without the paint. You got all that? Alright, go.”
Not military, but we used to send newbies down to the tool crib for the long weight. “We gotta calibrate the weightometer, go down to the tool crib for the long weight.” The tool crib attendant would tell them “Just a minute.” After around 10 minutes when the newbie would ask “What about that long weight?” the answer was “Haven’t you waited long enough?” Oh my God, we never got tired of that one.
Well this isn’t military but it sorta fits so I’ll throw it out there.
My brother’s wife was very gullible and totally clueless about any “man stuff” as she called it. One day he got a call from her at work and she was saying that her left blinker was out and could he fix it when he got home? He told her “Oh you went and parked on the hill last night like I told you not to do. Now all your blinker fluid has run into the right blinker. Just turn the car around and park it the other way on the hill for an hour so that the fluid can even out again.” So she did.
An hour later he got another call from her “It didn’t work! Now what should I do?” Brother replied “You must be low on blinker fluid then. Go into the garage and get the bottle - it’s next to the wood powered weedwhacker at the back shelf. Then you can pour it in to the blinker.” She hangs up. She called again not long after “I can’t find that wood powered weedwhacker anywhere! Are you sure it’s on the shelf? I can’t find blinker fluid either!” At this point brother has her on speaker for the entire workplace to hear and they’re all snickering in the background at this poor hapless woman. My brother said “Look, it should be at the back of the garage but maybe I left it outside last night. Go out back of the garage and find the plugin unit for the sparkplugs. It should be right next to that.”
Eventually she called up my Dad just sobbing hysterically at not being able to do a simple thing like find the blinker fluid. My poor Dad just about lost it, trying to explain to her that no, there was no such thing, that was simply a joke. He had to turn the phone over to Mom before long because she just didn’t believe Dad. (It didn’t help that he couldn’t stop giggling) Mom managed to keep a straight face while telling her that she should just leave the car parked on the hill and if brother had to re-park it tonight to even out the blinker fluid before he filled it back up, then that’s what he’d have to do. She did eventually learn about brother’s ways… but it was fun while it lasted.
Chem-light batteries and tire rotations. And yes, I’ve known people to go looking for both.
Once when my office was next to a copy machine a new private stepped into my office and asked how to “put these in the copier”. She was holding carbon paper.
Look, by the time a recruit graduates boot camp, they should understand that at times [insert branch of service] Logic is nothing like civilian logic. And that one asks certain questions after completing an assignment or maybe while completing it. And again, a newbie is assaulted with a LOT of jargon in a brief amount of time in a COMPLETELY strange environment and is quite aware that they know NOTHING.
Except one thing…
They’re a Seaman Apprentice and I’m the 2nd Class Petty Officer that they’ve been assigned to who just gave him an order.
Oh, one other thing… they do NOT want to get sent to the Chief.
An MM punch.
Send the noob to find MM1 Jones (Machinist Mate First Class) and tell him I sent you to get an MM punch. A bruised shoulder ensued.
I worked for the Navy for a while and got to see a few.
In “Mail Buoy Watch” they ask for volunteers for the watch over the speaker and then someone arms the newbes that show up with long poles. They postion these guys at the front of the ship with the absurdly underlength poles so everyone can se them. I guess they stay there until they figure it out?
A couple of times they tried to lure me into the bowels of the ship to see a ‘sea bat’ or for a pool or a bowling tournament, but I had been forwarned.