I sometimes write limericks and post them on FB. I recently wrote this one:
The loveliest time of the year -
With the beautiful music I hear:
The birds call and sing,
Awaiting their offspring –
Just so long as the skies remain clear.
I now have second thoughts of the word “so.” I think perhaps it should be “as.” I vaguely remember there is a rule when “so” or “as” is correct, but do not recall the rule.
You have fallen victim to the fallacy that there are rules of grammar and usage. This used to be the case, but that was in the past. Now anyone can say anything in any way they desire and have it mean whatever they want it to. This is how language evolves.
If there is such a rule, it almost assuredly was created out of whole cloth by someone desperately in need of something to do. I would consider both versions grammatical and I think it’s up to you, which version to use.
This is a load of malarky and it’s disappointing to see such an uninformed and uninteresting attitude in GQ.
You’re not supposed to post jokes before a serious answer appears in GQ.
I agree with Inner Stickler. I don’t know of any reason of style - NOT GRAMMAR, STYLE - that “so long as” would be not acceptable or not considered as formal.
There is one agreed upon difference between the two. “As long” is definitely preferred for usages involving length.
“My arm is as long as a million grains of sand.”
not
“My arm is so long as a million grains of sand.”
But that sounds so awkward that few people would use it.
I hope no one minds a non-GQ response.
The fourth line has one too many syllables. You could fix it with, “And await their offspring -”.
That’s not non-GQ. The only problem is that it has the same number of syllables. The problem was not the number of syllables but with the meter, which your version fixed.
Similarly, I think “as” works better. Not for grammatical or style based reasons, but because “so” has a slight bit of stress that doesn’t quite fit on the second syllable of an anapestic foot. I’d either use “as” or get rid of “just.”
Isn’t this a double entendre?
“Just so _long - as the skies remain clear”
vs.
“Just ‘so long!’ - as the skies remain clear”
or what?
(I like the verse anyhow!)
Thanks for the improvement suggestions. The rhyme scheme is OK if the stress is on “spring,” but I like that suggestion. I concur that “so” tends to get stressed, and so your line is better.I
I’d suggest “Awaiting offspring.”
It has the right number of syllables.
“Awaiting their offspring” has six syllables where the line calls for five.
I missed the edit window. . .
I just looked up “limerick” in Wikipedia, and it says the first, second and fifth lines have three feet of three syllables each, while the third and fourth lines have two feet of three syllables each. I always thought each line ended with a foot of two syllables. Shows what I know.
It does say that. It also shows a million examples that differ.
There was a young rustic named Mallory,
who drew but a very small salary.
When he went to the show,
his purse made him go
to a seat in the uppermost gallery.
A lively young damsel named Menzies [pronounced Mings-is]
Inquired: “Do you know what this thenzies?”
Her aunt, with a gasp,
Replied: "It’s a wasp,
And you’re holding the end where the stenzies.
Good. My line is OK, however, if the accent is on “off” in “offspring.” I think I posted contra in an earlier post I did on my iPhone in haste.
Generally speaking Wikipedia is correct. However, it is acceptable that the first foot of each line may begin with only one, or even none, unstressed syllables, and that the last foot may end with only one, or even none, unstressed syllables. Hence Exapno Mapcase’s examples are correct. My 3d line begins with only one unstressed syllable and ends with only one unstressed syllable, and has only two feet if you stress “off.”
For your comments and criticisms here is another limerick I wrote some time ago:
The neighborhood ninjas seek black power.
The adjoining apartments they scour.
Vegetarians they are not.
They want meat in the pot.
They are waiting for the dinner hour.
Another:
The solstice of winter said, “Good-bye.”
The sun held its ground in the sky.
The world is still here.
So I’ll have another beer.
So much for predictions from Maya.
Note that the first foot in each line varies as to the number of unstressed syllables. That’s acceptable. The classic limerick’s first line is “There was an old man from Nantucket.” Note that “There” is the only unstressed syllable in the first foot and the last foot ends with only one unstressed syllable.
Here’s another one of mine:
On my run, on the road, sat a turtle.
I know, you agree, no great hurdle.
When I tried to remove it,
Afraid of it getting hit,
It snapped at me. “Ingrate,” I chortled.
The first line is classical limerick style, as per Wikipedia’s definition. The second line begins with only one unstressed syllable. The 3d line ends with an unstressed word, which would normally start another foot; however, I believe that is also acceptable. The 4th line begins with only one unstressed syllable and ends with two unstressed syllables which would normally start another foot. The 5th line begins with only one unstressed syllable (not quite rhyming because of the past tense - but hey, I’m entitled to some poetic license. :).
It is my understanding that all of mine are acceptable limericks.
I know you were chastised up above for your comment but I think it’s perfect. If I hear (or read) one more “this is how language evolves” as an excuse for the wrong word or improper grammar, I’m going to loose my mind. Hopefully my brain will still be in tact.
I literally wait with baited breath too see if their is anyone else who feels the same way.
WARNING: The above comment is SARCASM. Apparently that needs to be spelled out.
You will find the use of so long as throughout formal English. One corpus search I did turned up 821 instances of it in the past seven years, in scholarly publications such as Middle East Quarterly, The Journal of Speech, Language & Hearing Research, Foreign Affairs, The Journal of American Culture, The ABA Journal, American Scholar, Physics Today, Anthropology Quarterly, and so on. I even found it in the journal Poetry:
[QUOTE=Alexei Tsvetkov]
By now I can find my way through Old Town with my eyes closed, so long as they keep the tourists penned up for a while.
[/quote]
(2/2008, Vol. 191 Issue 5, p425-433, 9p)
I believe it is “bated breath”.
Youv bean wushed.