What’s the diffference between Andrew Lloyd Webber and cheese? :dubious:
Poly (who will send a mastiff hound – wearing a found mask – to investigate the question) 
Got a note from a friend today. She said she was driving her granddaughter someplace and the radio was on an oldies station. The old tune came on that goes: *Going to the chapel and we’re gonna get married…"
and the little girl was singing:
Going to the chat room and we’re gonna get married…
A girl I dated thought Circle was singing: the morning sun is rising like a red rubber dog. :dubious:
Another mangled hymn by little kids is the Battle Hymn of the Republic: He has trampled on the village where the great giraffe is stored. 
The first verse of Tori Amos’ “Tear In Your Hand” was absolutely impenetrable for quite some time:
The real lyrics: What I thought:
All the world just stopped now All the world just stopped now
So you say you don't want to So you say you don't want to
stay together any more stay together any more
Let me take a deep breath, babe Hit me, take a deep breath, babe
If you need me, me and Neil'll be If you need me, needle me and be
Hnging out with the dream king Hanging out with the dream king
Neil said 'hi,' by the way Nurse's heart, write a word (or 'right away')
I don't believe you're leaving I don't believe you're leaving
cause me and Charles Manson puts me in trust, mention
like the same ice cream like the same ice cream
Think it's that girl Tickets that girl
I think there are pieces of me I think there are pieces of me
you'll never see... you'll never see...
I just remembered one my Grandma laid on me many years ago. She was a bit paranoid about keeping us away from ee-vil music since she found my Iron Maiden Number of the Beast Album. Anyway, we were in the car listening to the radio, and a seventies song came on called “It’s Magic”, I believe. (It’s Magic, you kno-o-ow, never believe it’s not so…possibly by Player?) Anyway, Grandma was utterly convinced that the singer was saying “It’s My Dick”.
The Go-Go’s had a song called Alex the Seal, which was, of course, “Our lips are sealed”.
Ultravox had a song about Harvey Enner.
Apologies if someone has mentioned these - I skimmed the thread.
I’ll have you know I just choked on a Snyder’s of Hanover Honey BBQ Piece, you bastard!
Ah. Pec-thumping. Makes perfect sense!
Count me in for “Purty Little Love Song.” I know there’s more. Had some trouble with Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Queen), but I’ll be damned if I can remember any of the lyrics now, wrong or right.
There was a hymn we used to sing in church as a child that went “Let angels prostrate fall.” I always thought the “prostrate” was some body part (I’d heard of the prostate) and that the angels were letting theirs fall for some mysterious reason…
For one of my college room-mates, The Fixx’s “Red Skies at Night” was “Rick’s Got A Knife”
My worst one was an old song by Billy Preston. Does anyone remember the song, “I’m Born Again”? Remember, I was only ten yrs old when this song was popular, but I thought for years that they were saying, “Woman, don’t you know with you, I’m gonna gag”
Not a song really, but when I was little, I used to think that the United States was invisible when I said the Pledge of Allegiance. Apparently other little ones thought that the U.S. was both invisible and under ground.
And I still like to think that Canadians “stand on God for thee” when they sing their anthem.
Aussie band Jet have a current song that I was sure went :
Go down bitch
Just a kiss on the lips
And I was on my knees
I’m waiting, give me
Go down bitch
She was shakin’ her hips
That’s all that I need
Then I found out the song is Cold Hard Bitch not Go Down Bitch
Lol. Ya. It’s because Stipe both wrote the most bizarre lyrics in the world and sang them like a drunk with Turretts.
My favs are:
Driver 8
He piloted this song in a plane like that one
She is selling faith on the Go Tell crusade
Locomotive 8, Southern Crescent hear the bells ring again
Field to weed is lookin’ thin
Tell Crusade sounds like Docusate.
Exhuming McCarthy
Vested interest united ties, landed gentry rationalize
Look who bought the myth, by jingo, buy America
Look who bought the myth sounds like who could buy Clomid?
These are ultra relevent to me as a pharmacist and longtime R.E.M. freak.
In college, me and my roommate actually played …end of the world… over and over to catalog the lyrics.
I deliberately go around mis-singing the refrain of Heart’s “Heartless” as “Heartless, Hardass…” instead of the usual “Heartless, heartle-e-e-esss…” simply to make fun of the song.
That’s nothing…When I was a kid , I thought it was “Goin’ to the jack-o-lantern , gonna get married”!
Lol again.
If one is not familiar with Stipe’s lyrics, it is entirely possible to listen to R.E.M. and have nothing but the feeling you are mishearing the lyrics; when, in fact, the lyrics are exactly what you think you’re mishearing. That “Johnny Reb what’s the price of fans?” you know must mean “Johnny Reb what’s the …something else” really is “Johnny Reb what’s the price of fans.”
In the beginning, Stipe wrote merely abstract verse (see “Gardening at Night”). The ideas were abstract but the verse and sentence architecture made sense. He gradually progressed, album by album (you could almost draw a line) to the abstract ideas and bizarre phraseology we know today i.e. “Disturbance at the Heron House.” There is no rationalizing or interpreting Stipe’s lyrics. He’s just one strange individual. It must be in the water in Athens. See Fred Schneider, Kate Pierson etc.
Had anyone been to Walters BBQ in Athens? Or the now J.B. BBQ?
From the same song:
Here we stand
Worlds apart, hearts broken in two, two, two
Sleepless nights
Losing ground
I’m reaching for you, you, you
“Worlds apart” sounds like Rosa Parks.
Go ahead, listen to it again.
OMG! It’s not Bruce?
OMG! It’s not Bruce!
You have just given me a revelation with the like magnitude of learning I have cancer. To this day I would have wagered family members to dollars it was “Bruce.” But sure enough a Google search reveals I have been duped all these years.
WTF is Groos???
Hmmmm, perhaps this guy.
Or, this guy.
And it did…mostly.