In November I returned to the online dating scene after a loooong time away. I took a brief sabbatical at the start of this year to actually date one of the guys from the online dating scene (go figure!), but when he dumped me early last month I got right back on the horse: I’ve been scanning the Match.com and Onion personals every Saturday night for the past 5 weeks. And I’ve been writing to the guys whose profiles catch my eye. But my interest in online dating is always cyclical, and I think the current cycle is coming to an end.
This evening I got a message from a nice-looking guy, who doesn’t live too far away, and who matches all of my search criteria. And you know what? I’m not interested. You know why? Because I don’t like his first name. And he uses a lot of exclamation points. And he’s 2 or 3 years younger than me (I know, I know … just accept it as one of my quirks and move on). Does any of the above really matter? Hell, no. I’m not just not into this perfectly decent guy who thinks I have a great smile and that I seem groovy (my word, not his).
But who do I keep hoping for a reply from? The Vin Diesel-lookin’, Harley-ridin’, kilt-wearin’ pro wrestler (and IT security wonk) who I wrote to last week even though he (still) hasn’t logged into the dating service in more than 3 months.
Yeah, I think my heart isn’t really in this anymore…
There is no excuse for using a lot of exclamation points.
A friend has been doing the on-line dating thing for a while, and she cycles, too. She’s in a down cycle right now, but I’m seeing the signs that she’s about to start getting back into it.
If your heart’s not in it, it’s not in it. But I do have one question for you:
Does he wear the kilt while on the Harley? Because, if so, you’re right to hold out for him.
Why not just arrange to meet so you know for sure?
One of my goals in online dating was to meet people…not necessarily to find The One (althougth that kinda happened anyway ). The best way to know for sure was to meet them in person.
There was one person I met that by her description seemed very active and adventurous. What I found was someone I spent having 1-way conversations during the entire date, who wasn’t as attractive as the photos suggested, and wasn’t terribly interested in me. In the end, we went our separate ways, but I’m glad I at least went through the effort of meeting that person and knowing 100% for sure.
And besides, what’s in a name?
Ah, give him a chance.
I almost ignored an ad one time, because it said “overweight girl’s need not apply”. I weighed 98 lbs at the time, but didn’t want someone so picky. It turned out he had been dating overweight girls and was just ready for a change.
Been married 18 years.
Give the poor guy a chance. But if you find that he eats his peas one at a time - dump his ass like a bad habit!
I have a male friend who is absolutely fantastic, but who has a tendency to use exclamation points at the end of most typed sentences.(!) He also writes very short sentences. (!) So the overall effect is choppy and hyper, which doesn’t actually reflect him at all.(!)
IRL he’s a very sporty guy with a real enthusiasm for life and all it offers, and I reckon he’d be a catch for any girl - he’s smart, has a good sense of humour, and has his feet firmly on the ground. He’s also got a genuine romantic streak, with nothing artificial.
I’d be sad to think he’d miss out on a possible life mate because of a posting quirk.
As for his name though… how bad is this guy’s name? Can you share?
What the hell, have coffee with him. Maybe you’re just in a mood. And maybe you’re not – but at least meet him before writing him off. I’m in the middle of a lively email correspondence with a Potential Suitor – and his writing style is also … hyper. And idiosyncratic. And the editor in me wants to take out all the exclamation points (which he doesn’t always limit himself to using one at a time) and LOL’s and … you know – but the person in me thinks he’s smart and funny and someone I have a lot in common with.
Keep your fingers crossed.
Oh wait, this was about you.
Yeah, go ahead and meet him. As far as the exclamation points go – not everyone knows what F. Scott Fitzgerald said about them.
You’re not likely to ever refer to him by his first name if you hit it off.
You’re more likely to go with the Pookeywookey, Fluffy Bunny, Little Cup Cake scenario, so ignore his name as a criteria.
I’m not sure my wife has EVER called me by my name. Even in public.
Heck, I use my husband’s name so infrequently that once I forgot it! We were at a family get-together and I wanted to refer to him. I actually stared at him a few seconds and then uttered the immortal phrase “What’s your name?”
My family will never let me forget it.
Meet this guy. Exclamation points aren’t so bad!!!
I hear you about the “cycle” thing I think I am the same way.
Exclamation points and screen names aren’t such a bad hangup. I don’t like guys that can’t spell in chat, or use “u” or “ur” alot. Bah!
The guy I’m seeing now (met on personals) can spell just fine, but he is 3 years younger than me, which I thought I’d never be into. He also mentioned “Jesus” in his profile which kind of turned me off. But I ended up getting to know him and he’s awesome!
You can be choosy. Just gotta speed it up if your subscription is about to end
Bah - maybe he hates his name too
I hate mine, after all.
Give it a whirl. You never know until you try.
I appreciate the “give him a chance” messages, but I guess I didn’t make my point clearly enough: I’m not rejecting him because of his name – christ, I’d deserve to die alone and be eaten by my cats if I were that picky/bitchy! I’m just not interested in anyone at the moment, and my OP was about the fact that I didn’t realize I was at this point until I found myself thinking “well, I don’t like his name … and he uses too many exclamation points…” etc. Know what I mean?
My heart isn’t in this whole dating thing at the moment, and I don’t think it would be fair to set up a meeting with him anyway when I’d just be dreading it and then looking for any little reason to dislike him (like I did with his message). I’d be pissed if someone did that to me.
Ah, hiatus. Gotcha. It’s actually a very peaceful place to be.