hi there,
in trying to find out how a person determines whether or not they should take stress leave, i did a Google search and landed here. i did see another gal’s post - it was helpful but i’d like to get the forum’s opinion on my matter as well. i’ll try to be brief.
my dad got very sick and died in june 2008. he was the one that i was closest to in my family.
my mom was sick with pancreatic cancer and i was her caretaker for about 6 months of the last year that she was alive, working from home 5 days/week and taking care of her then commuting to work for 2 days (500 miles round trip). she died this last august.
my favorite uncle/dad’s bro died 1.5 weeks after my mom’s memorial - long story but he aspirated stomach acid into his lungs, got pneumonia, and died within a couple of months. he looked the most like dad out of the 4 brothers that dad had - and he and dad were close.
about a month before my mom died, my boyfriend of 2.5 years bought me a pair of beautiful diamond earrings, asked me to move in with him… and then dumped me unexpectedly in an email a month after my mom died. no reason, no remorse, just said that he didnt think we should go any further - he called me this last valentines day asking about being friends - no.
out of my three brothers, there is only one that i am closest to (200mi away) - he is going through a divorce after 23 yrs of marriage and his first priority is his children, as it should be. my other two brothers have substance abuse issues and the oldest is unstable: about 1.5 weeks ago he showed up at the office of the probate atty in reno, the one handling our mother’s estate, and the atty and the staff felt threatened so now my brother in Sac and i need to meet with her and do some damage control.
since my mom died, i’ve been having panic attacks…in the middle of the night - about once a week at least… so i wake up to my entire body totally trembling, and twitching. night sweats on top of that. digestive issues that result in a lot of quality time with the toilet. nightmares. i’m exhausted. i’ll add that i did go to the dr about the panic attacks and she gave me a scrip for xanax - i’m supposed to take 1/2 pill before bed and then again before work - i can’t take the stuff or i’m just a zombie - i have the entire prescription minus 1 pill.
work sucks in that over the past year, they’ve systematically removed any career track for me and my two colleagues, there’s no interest in our professional growth, they’ve changed us from salary to hourly for business reasons to which we are not privy, and after career “leveling” throughout the company, there’s now no senior position to be promoted to. work isn’t the issue, but it exacerbates my other issues.
i’m all out of sick leave - i feel like mentally and emotionally that i am just wiped out. every time i start thinking about my parents, or if something comes up in church pertaining to parents or even the military, i start crying. i simply don’t know what to do. i feel broken. i gave myself a night and day away in half moon bay and yet i still called in sick today.
what would you do???
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