“The vast Meibomian oil glands contributed more than 60% of the nation’s total GDP. Meibomia became one of the world’s major oil exporting countries, but it was also the center of major conflicts in the region over its rich oil reserves.”
– Wolfpup’s imaginary history
@Hari_Seldon, for years, I’ve used a saline ointment every night to alleviate dry eyes and corneal swelling. It’s not hard to avoid touching the tube to the eye. Here’s how I do it: pull out the lower lid to make a little pocket. Hold the tube above the pocket and squeeze a dab of ointment into it. As you release the (slight) squeeze, sharply twist your wrist to rotate the tube–maybe a quarter- or half-turn. The ointment detaches.
Hope this helps.
I guess hackers are going to target that one next, amirite?
DarkSide has agents in Meibomia even as we speak! 
As funny as “meibomian” and its derivatives are, “Blephasol” made me laugh out loud. It sounds like a completely fabricated name for a cleanser in some kind of comedy sketch.
In that case, and assuming you’re only familiar with the US trade name, may I offer you this UK product for your entertainment? (I don’t think it’s NSFW, but just in case:)
As I spoilered that, you may have to right click and open in another tab.
j
For heaven’s sake, *don’t * keep the Blephasol and the An**sol in the same drawer!
Hindsight really is 20/20, isn’t it 
My husband has this.
For years, he’d occasionally wake up feeling like he had an eyelash in his eye, and was never able to remove that eyelash, but it would leave his eye feeling scratchy all day. FInally, one day, when it happened he called the ophthalmologist as soon as their office opened, and they checked his eye within an hour.
No eyelash. Instead, it was dry eye due to this (if I recall the details). He has a gel mask that he zaps in the microwave for a few seconds and sits with it over his eyes for 15 minutes or so; he finds that if he skips a day he’s OK but if he skips two he’s risking an unpleasant wakeup.
What’s weird is you can find videos of these glands being expressed. Ewwww.
I remember seeing TV ads for this stuff a couple of decades ago, and thinking OMG, did they actually name it that?
I want to go back to this post. Reading about this condition has me interested. My eyes are always scratchy and itchy. I always attributed it to living with cats. (I blame them for anything that doesn’t have another ready explanation.)
The word “scrub” in this post disturbs me, and I’m guessing I shouldn’t take it literally. Surely, “gently wash” the eyelids is more accurate? Anyway, what do you actually do? Lather up some baby shampoo on your fingers and dab on the eyelids then go over with a washcloth? Baby shampoo always used to be advertised as “no more tears,” but when I’ve used it on my hair and gotten some in my eyes, it burned like hell.
The warm compresses sound like a good idea. I’ve read that used teabags make good eyelid compresses, but of course, they wouldn’t be warm – unless you used them right from the teacup… hmmm…
I can’t speak for what @dwyr 's doctor requested, but my optometrist said to massage the upper and lower lids gently toward the eye after applying the heated mask. This motion is supposed to express any clogged meibum from the ducts. Maybe that’s what “scrub” means in this case.
I suppose you could heat up a couple of used teabags in the microwave, just like the mask or washcloth. The only drawback IMO is that teabags are pretty small compared with the aforementioned options and wouldn’t hold the heat very long.
The mask the optometrist sold me for $7 (a good deal, compared with the Amazon price: https://www.amazon.com/Oasis-REST-RELIEF-Eye-Mask/dp/B01E6NRM3E/ref=asc_df_B01E6NRM3E/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312087935433&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16315320007399266205&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9032481&hvtargid=pla-762478715992&psc=1) looks unnervingly like one of the old-style Kotex pads with the gauze extensions you used to have to pin into your underwear. I suppose if you have one of those lying around it would also make a damn fine heated face mask!
Very informative! Thank you!
I moisten a cotton round (like used for makeup), put a dab of baby shampoo on it and work up a lather. Then I close my eyes and gently scrub from side to side along the eyelid margin. Then I rinse with warm water. Baby shampoo can make my eyes sting too if it gets in, but keeping them closed the whole time prevents this. Usually. They sell fancy solutions at the drugstore to do the scrubs with that don’t sting but they cost a lot more.
I used to use a warm cloth first, to soften up the crud clogging up the gland ducts, but find I don’t really need it now. The doctor also gave me a course of tetracycline but I have rosacea as well.
I used to wake up feeling like my eyeballs had been sandpapered even though they were very teary. It’s my understanding that it’s not a lack of tears but no oil film because of plugged glands means the tears evaporate and don’t keep the eye moist. It’s way better now.
If you really want to be squicked out, part of what clogs up the ducts is, um, debris left by the follicle mites that live in your eyelashes. Blech.
I had something like this. Don’t remember what it was called - I don’t think it was MGD or blepharitis. Basically my eyes were f’n goopy all the time without any hint of allergy. I’d just be sitting there at like 4 in the afternoon and my eyes were goopy and caked like I just woke up. And my upper eyelashes were bending down all the time (I’ve got beautiful long eyelashes, don’t hate me) so I couldn’t see. It was a whole mess.
Doctor did have me do the warm compresses/mask (they were only $15 for a pack of 2, but looks like now they’re $21.) and that was quite nice. And he had me wash my eyes with baby shampoo which was helpful to clear the gunk out. I also went so far as to get an eyelash lift where they chemically curl your eyelashes and they stay curled for a good bit, so it got them out of my eyes.
Anyway, this was in 2016 and it seems to have cleared up for me. I still have goopier-than-normal eyes, like I have to clear the “sleep sand” out of them a few times a day but it’s no longer gushing. And my eyelashes have gone back to normal. I do still end up washing my eyes with the baby shampoo every couple weeks. I’d probably do it more if I had to leave the house more.
I swear this really cleared up for me when I started using my CPAP. Like maybe I slept with my eyes slightly open before? Unless it’s coincidence. Getting a full restful night’s sleep does do miracles for the body. Could be it was just what I needed to clear the goop out of my eyes.
Thanks for that detailed instruction @dwyr.
Yeah, don’t EVER google that. Trust me.
Here’s the Blephasol leaflet:
Pictures and all. But it does tell you what to do. It covers a number of products but this is for the solution, which I use.
Use Blephasol as directed, usually once or twice a day. Put solution on to a cotton wool pad or gauze and gently wipe along the lower inner eyelid, the upper and lower eyelids and lash area to remove accumilated oily debris and crusted matter from the eyelid and lash
j
PS: I used to write leaflets, and “accumilated” would NOT have made it through on my watch. Plus that para would have a period/full stop.
I so feel your pain. I wince at things like that, too.
BTW, this thread is fighting ignorance like a MF!