I’m on Paxil for depression but mainly to treat Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which can lead to depression-the anti-depressant Paxil is good for combating the EXTREME anxiety attacks-which were crippling me. I hit rock bottom right after I graduated high school and even now and again I start getting the same old fears every once in a while.
I don’t even like to remember that time period, I was so miserable…I start crying if I even think about it, because I get afraid it’ll come back…
I am currently weaning myself off of Celexa (but only because I’m trying to get pregnant).
My sister and I both suffer from depression, anxiety, and she has ADD. I’m getting the impression from Jersey Diamond (and I’m going to try and stay calm at this point) that she thinks we’re lazy, weak people depending on drugs to make us happy. And I’d like to reiterate the point that was made that depression isn’t NOT BEING HAPPY. It’s wanting to die, thinking your dying, sleeping the whole day away or not sleeping at all, hating things you loved, distancing yourself from everyone, being afraid or crying at the drop of a hat…it’s horrid.
And I worked my ASS off to get out of this depression. Therapy I hated going to, crying to my husband for hours, trying to explain what was happening to me, praying, going to church (YES, I’m a Christian) and it was a long, uphill battle.
Without the medication I’m sure I would have lost my job, I would have stopped working out completely, I would have been in big trouble in my marriage, I would have stopped writing and I’d be miserable.
Just because YOU were strong enough to get through your depression without medication doesn’t mean the rest of us are weaklings.
I currently take Celexa for depression. It works very, very well, *for me. *
As others in this thread have stated, some people don’t need meds. In many cases, depression is situational. Like JerseyDiamond’s depression about her father’s passing. It is perfectly normal to be depressed in a case like that. It’s part of grieving.
But sometimes, the depression just doesn’t lift. You don’t move past it. You can’t carry on. Everything you do becomes a struggle, even simple things like getting out of bed.
Sometimes counselling alone can help this. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes one’s coping skills just aren’t enough, and medication is necessary.
My meds aren’t “happy pills.” They don’t make me high, or solve my problems. What they do is make me functional. They make me not dread waking up in the morning. They make me able to tolerate and work through the crap that life can sling. And they make me able to appreciate the good things that life offers, which many depressed persons cannot do.
I’m glad I’ve got my medication. And I’m glad I live in a day and age where this type of medication exists, and depression isn’t a stigma anymore.
Amen, jarbabyj, amen to that.
There’s a difference between grief and depression as well which needs to be considered. While some depression can be kickstarted by grief, not all grief kickstarts depression. It’s normal to feel like crap when you’re grieving. But saying that because someone got through severe grief without meds, that means that other people should function the same is not valid.
You were depressed at the time, as is normal. But people who are depressed for more than one event do need these things to function. It’s not as simple as making money, though they definitely do that. It is keeping people able to function as members of society. He shouldn’t have just prescribed you something, that’s not terribly reassuring. But it’s not a “money making thing” only, that’s simplifying it more than is necessary. you don’t need them, but we do. It’s not a reason to act differently about things, it just IS.
Boy, oh boy, I have days like that. 
How has it helped you, I mean, did a few weeks go by and things started to seem better?
I didn’t get anything out of a DR/counselor. Maybe I didn’t stay with it long enough to feel like he made a difference. Is it just being able to talk to someone, or do they tell you different things to do to help yourself. I know this probably isn’t a good example, but in the Soprano’s, it didn’t seem like the psych dr. was doing anything for tony.
It sounds really good! How do you tell depression from 'just another crappy day? I hope that doesn’t sound dumb.
Are there lots of side effects?
yekera1313, It is definitely not reassuring! I though it was very strange that he prescibed something after only a 45 minute session with me.
keithmac, I didn’t realize that the anti-depressants can stop working. Why does that happen? Is it because you build an immunity or something?
Gosh, Tabithina. That has to be hard. I wish you all the best.
iconoplast, the “coping mechanisms” you talked about, was that something you learned from counseling, or do you mean you were in a better state of mind while taking the meds, which helped you figure out other methods of helping yourself?
I hope it works for you. Good luck
I just wish some of the psych docs would get to know thier patients a little better before giving out drugs.
Well, you happened to get a dud physician or psychiatrist. They don’t normally do that. I was in over a year of therapy and seeing a psychiatrist before medication was brought up. I didn’t want to, but it became the only method for me, and now I’m off for however long I can manage. So a lot of people in this world have depression, and think it’s just a temporary sadness, instead of a chemical imbalance. And then they go to therapists and doctors and get help, not a prescription after 45 minutes of talk. But a lot of people need it, so it happens to be a large industry, as you talked about. It’s terrible but it’s something that exists.
Well, when it comes down to sheer effectiveness, the amount of variables involved in each particular sufferer, and the medications available is enormous.
I like to think of myself as a member of the Borg. Started on Celexa, then adapted to it, and it became ineffective. Same scenario with Effexor, Paxil, and all that herbal crap. Now I do the Prozac thing, and it has made the biggest difference for the longest period of time.
Well, I certainly can’t speak for anyone else, but a few days after I went on Zoloft I was no longer suicidal. My father is no longer a quivering bodymass in the fetal position on our living room floor because of, among other things, anti-depressants. My mother is no longer depressed, low-energy and in general no fun because she is on anti-depressants.
Depression works differently for different people. Had I not gotten chemical help I can’t say for sure that I’d be posting here. I can’t say I’d be alive. Are there people who take them and possibly don’t need them? Yeah, possibly. But if they’re able to cope more effectively with their lives or whatnot, what difference should it make to any of us? It’s not like they’re breeding a more resistent strain of depression…
When the crappy day never ends. When nothing changes the fact that it’s a crappy day. Understand that depression is like being in a room with doors on each wall that you can’t see. Everyone else is telling you, “Just go out the door” but you can’t see it.
In some cases there isn’t much you have to know. It’s not like chronically depressed people don’t realize they’re depressed. I’m a reasonably intelligent person, and if I tell you I haven’t had a good day in ten years, well, what more are you going to have to find out? It’s not like anyone’s looking to score the meds to sell on the black market or anything.
Hi there. I’ve been on Paxil twice, and found it helped me. I’m not taking any anti-dpressant at the moment. I’m going to answer your questions in the order that you put them in your OP.
Q. Why did you need it?
A. Because I hated myself with an ugly rage. My life was getting messed up, and the predominant feelings were fear and self-loathing. With me it’s not so much depression as it is anxiety. Terrible, terrible fear of failure and ultimately, abandonment. Fear of people finding out that I’m not worth wasting time on. Hating myself for not being worth wasting time on, for not learning the lessons of each failure. That kind of thing.
Q. How has it changed you?
A. It helped me to get a sense of proportion, and realise that I wasn’t vermin and didn’t need killing. The sense of proportion and removal of the worst of the self-hatred helped me get the most out of the counselling I was having. The counselling also gave me the tools to make the most of the sense of proportion and for want of a better word, love, that I needed to put into my life.
Q. Do you regret going on it?
A. No, ma’am!
Did you know you needed it?
A. Yes, I did. Although it took a Big Bad Thing going wrong with my life for me to truly realise what a total wreck my life was, and how unhealthy and destructive my thoughts about myself were. That’s where I was was I was first prescribed Paxil.
In your last post, JerseyDiamond, you asked
Of course, I can’t speak for iconoplast, I can only speak for me. My answer is a hearty “both”. I was in a better state of mind while taking the meds, and that helped me get a lot out of the counselling. A few years later, I had a depressive anxiety episode brought on by being fired from my job (which triggered some unresolved issues from the past, too). I spent a lot of time screaming and looking at knives. I went to the doctor and told him that Paxil had worked for me before. So he prescribed. I found that I was able to do a lot of work myself using the coping mechanisms and analytical tools I’d learnt in counselling years before. There are still things to work on, but I’m getting better at sorting myself out all the time. I can’t sort myself out if I think I’m vermin that needs exterminating.
Does that help you?
Curious Jersey responded to everyone’s post but mine, but I guess I’ll apologize for it anyway.
It’s just that Jersey sounded a lot like everyone in my family when I informed them I was going on medication. They seemed to think that my depression could be cured by
Also, I was told that LOTSSS of people in the world have it worse off than me so what the hell do I have to be depressed about (as if I made the choice to be an insomniac afraid of everything who wanted to die).
The fact is that my body wasn’t making enough Dopamine. It’s CHEMICAL. That’s why the medication not only lifted my depression, but changed my metabolism drastically.
It’s been a ridiculously hard row to hoe, and I just don’t appreciate when people think ‘just being tough and cheerful’ is enough to improve it.
I posted a while ago about being in a funk and not being able to shake it on my own. Lots of people told me to go get some help. I went to my GP and after filling out a questionairre and talking to two doctors, they gave me a sample pack of Zoloft, and told me to combine the drugs with talk therapy.
I’ve been on Zoloft for a few months now and I have to say that I’m really starting to feel better. My problem wasn’t depression so much as anxiety. I knew that my fear and anxiety was illogical. I knew that I should be able to go to a movie, to the store, to see friends, or out like a normal person, but I just couldn’t do it. I cried every day on the drive home from work, because I was so frustrated that I couldn’t talk myself out of it. I questioned every decision I made, from what to eat for dinner, to what load of laundry to wash first and my routines were getting more and more complicated. Little by little I found ways to minimize my contact with the outside world. I found comfort in the familiar, going to the same stores when I absolutely had to go out, never going out alone, I hardly ever used the phone. God forbid the store changed it’s display or my particular brand was out of stock, although it wouldn’t reduce me to tears in the store, a sense of panic would start to creep into my chest. It was starting to get really out of control, even for me.
I’m not going to say that I’m totally cured and now I’m adventure girl, but at least now I can not only recognize that what I’m doing is harmful to me, but I can do something to change it.
I called and ordered dinner the other day. Not a big deal to most people but I can’t remember the last time I willingly talked to a stranger on the phone. I was always preoccupied with things like “What if they ask me a question I don’t have the answer too? What if I can’t understand what they are saying? What if they don’t have what I want?” Simple little things kept me from ordering my own meals a few months ago and four days ago, I picked up the phone and ordered food. Not brain surgery, not performing on stage, but it’s something I wouldn’t have done before and I’m proud of myself 
Maybe it’s the drugs, maybe it’s the therapy but whatever it is, I’m starting to feel really good. I’m hopeful and I can talk myself through things that I would have chickened out of before.
I’d kind of like to know if I share a common experience on this one. The spring semester of my senior undergraduate year, I went through a major depressive period, such that if they hadn’t broken the rules for me I would not have graduated, regardless of my Dean’s List standing for every previous semester. (.5 GPA in the spring, baby!) But because of the move back home and a trip I took, I only saw a counselor for two sessions, and I refused drugs because I was going to France for two weeks and didn’t want to start a new medication abroad. But, partly because of the massive life change of moving back home, taking a year off, all that - I got better on my own, felt fine.
Except now it’s coming back, I can feel it. So this time I presented myself at the university counseling center bright and early. (Woah, the difference between small private women’s college counseling and big state university! They gave me this intern who, if she’s 25, I will eat something unpleasant. But it’s free, so I haven’t got much choice - I do like her, but would prefer somebody a little… older.) They suggested medication after two sessions with the Baby Shrink, for which I had to see the one (!) prescribing psychiatrist, kind of hard to schedule with at the end of the semester, on Tuesday. He prescribed me some Lexipro, new and (I found out) evidently somewhat controversial redux of Celexa. (Controversial in how “new and improved” it is, not controversial in an “electrical shock and castration” kind of way, ya know.)
So the point of all this is, I knew it was the same thing coming back again because, while there were crappy things in my life all summer (I had, remember, moved back home, plus anybody reading my posts (meaning nobody) knows about issues with work and J) this felt totally different, more organic. Like I was feeling steadily worse and it was obvious that I couldn’t just attribute it to environmental factors. I’ve never really had obvious trigger events or anything. Does everybody diagnosed with clinical depression feel this way , that it’s clearly internal and body-centered?
Sorry, but not being a Neuro-Doctor I can’t tell you for sure why Celexa stopped working so well for me. I can only say that the effectiveness reduced very slowly over time, and only after >4 years on the drug. Maybe my underlying depression got worse and ‘beat’ the Celexa, or maybe I grew accustomed to it and became somewhat immune to its effects. Either way the Celexa was very good for me when it was working. Got me through University and my first real job.
Cheers, Keithy
Q. Why did you need it?
A. I was in a big slump. I wasn’t enjoying anything, I was being impatient with my husband and child, and I felt bored with everything. I didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t look forward to anything.
Q. How has it changed you?
A. It has made me more patient and forgiving. It’s made me better able to feel and express the ups and downs of life. It’s made me stop interpreting the world in a negative, egocentric way. For example, it used to be that if my boss mentioned she wanted to see me, I’d think “Oh god, I’m in trouble.” Now I think “Hey, I wonder what project she’s got for me now.” It’s made me enjoy the things I used to enjoy–my garden, cooking, movies, books, music.
Q. Do you regret going on it?
A. No, not at all. I wish I’d started sooner.
Did you know you needed it?
A. Well, no. I just thought I was miserable because I was too stressed and too busy (I was trying to finish a dissertation while working full time and being a mom). But I spoke weekly to a dissertation coach, and one week she said “You know, the way you’re talking, you sound like you might be depressed.” I dismissed it at first, but after we hung up I thought about it. I started reading more about depression and its symptoms, and realized that I matched the profile. So I went to my doctor. I had a long talk with him and with another doctor in the practice, and he prescribed anti-depressants. We also discussed the possibility of therapy, but honestly, we all agreed that it was not an ideal time to add something stressful to my life, even something that might be helpful in the long run.
I really want to respond to this, because I feel that it’s such an important part of being on medication. Many people simply do not understand. I can’t tell you how often I have felt very defensive, and started mentally preparing for battle the second my medication was brought up in conversation. I know I’m not alone in this, but it’s probably really hard for other people to appreciate the everyday struggle some people will put yout through simply because you are on meds. I’ve heard it all- “you need to just cheer up, start going out more, get a hobby, eat better, gain/lose some weight”, etc., etc., etc. Some of these people were well-intentioned, I’m sure, but the fact that they just did not understand the nature of my disease (and it is a disease; just because it doesn’t come with a fever or require surgery does not make it any less so) and had no conception of what it really meant.
And then there were those people who turned medication into a character or moral issue- “You have no backbone; suck it up; walk it off; like your life is so hard; what do you have to be depressed about?”, etc., etc. It is incrediby offensive. It betrays a deep lack of not only knowledge, but also empathy. It’s like telling an alcoholic to just stop drinking. It’s hurtful, cruel, and it sure as hell isn’t helping.
My problem, like Guinastasia’s was anxiety. I spent everyday of my life for four years convinced I was going to die. I would get in a car accident, I’d have a heart attack, I had cancer…everything that could possibly go wrong would almost certainly go wrong in my mind. Like that famous quote, (forget author)I spent my life suffering from tragedies that never occured. I had terrifying attacks of panic fear. I was going to the emergency room convinced I was dying at least once a week. It was horrible- I couldn’t go anywhere or enjoy anything, I couldn’t have a relationship with another human being, because I was too busy worrying about my own imminent demise. I was quite literally crazy. And finally a doctor said to me, 'You know, I think you have Panic Disorder…let’s try some Paxil." And it worked. I became a functional human being again. It did not make me happy, it did not make me calm, it made me able to function. I could leave the house, go to school, hold a job and a conversation. It let me stop focusing endlessly on myself and my perceived problems. And I seriously doubt I’d still be alive to write this without it.
But it was still a long, hard road. Medication is no ‘magic bullet’. It only buys you time; time to learn how to cope with your disease before it ambushes you again. And my defensiveness and my anger towards people who couldn’t or wouldn’t understand that is only intensified by my success.
Well put ratty.
And also, let’s remember that just because you’re on medication, it doesn’t mean your problems are over. I still spent many a day way down in the dumps, crying, calling in sick to work, thinking the world was ending. I nearly had to be f-ing hospitalized after 9/11. Medication just made it possible for me to think clearly and get through it alive.
I was diagnosed with a form of Major Depression almost 13 years ago after a suicide attempt. I normally function just fine but I hit some really bad spots about every five years. The only time I’ve been on medicine (Prozac) was during one of those down cycles while I was in a psych ward and for a few weeks after release.
Not just you, no response here either! (So new I guess I don’t quite ‘exist’ yet, or I went about trying to exist in the wrong way; that would be a hijack so I won’t expand on it). And likewise I want to apologize again, for the apparent tone of my first post. I have posted on other depression threads with a neutral or even pro-all treatments tone, so maybe I’ll end up sounding like I’m talking out of both sides of my face.
But that apparent contradiction just comes from the fact that while I am reasonable enough to sincerely believe that good therapy and good treatments are readily available and wonderfully useful, I’ve personally had bizarre experiences in seeking treatment. Much more than just meds being offered too quickly, but to explain that would be yet another hijack so I’ll spare you. BUT the important thing is, I FULLY believe these were just unfortunate coincidences and that I can have success with my search in the future if I determine I need to try again. (Currently what I’m trying is getting truly serious about how diet affects mood and energy, which I’ve never done for long. I have very real sugar/simple carb problems. And I’m about to start bright light therapy, which is being shown to treat generalized depression as well as SAD, and even eating and sleeping disorders.)
And I do fit many of the patterns you are all relating. Unfortunately I was one of those people who couldn’t tolerate the side effects of any SSRI I tried, and they are all basically similar in their root chemical actions so I chose not to try the remainder. Some people are just built that way. So maybe, if I have an edge about it at times, it’s partly because I’m frustrated that I couldn’t be one of those SSRI success stories.
Another biggie as far as why I have been able to get by without meds is that I am an independent contractor and work from home. God knows if I had to be in an office or face to face with people every day, I don’t know if I could have done it. That can also work against me, because at those times I absolutely HAVE TO have some kind of personal interaction I’m not up for or am worried I won’t be up for when the time arrives, I stress out about it massively. There is something to be said for being forced to maintain somewhat of a routine regarding dealing with the world whether you feel like it or not; otherwise you forget how and are unprepared.
Anyway, this thread has contained the most overwhelmingly positive feedback concerning meds that I have seen anywhere in awhile, so it is encouraging, and I am genuinely happy for all of you who have had great improvements in your quality of life! Keep fighting! 
Note: As far as JerseyDiamond’s question regarding whether therapy is just talk or if it involves suggestions, what’s called the cognitive/behavioral school of therapy involves more of the latter than the traditional school of therapy.
Good sites I post repetitively: