I’m not too worried about a claim of “lost freedoms;” that sounds like something from someone who measures his freedoms by how many guns he can conceal on his person at all times.
WRT to my comments, they are food for thought. I get concerned when the police is given undue authority to come onto my property and charge me for something that I might be thinking about doing, not that I’ve done…and I extend that to any potential crime. It shouldn’t be criminal to contemplate criminal activities…otherwise there are a lot of spouses and ex spouses that should be locked up! 
WRT to chick described in the OP, if I had been at that party, I would have wrestled the keys away from her, and told her to go sleep it off. Being around stupid drunk people is not really fun.
I remember being told years ago that yes, even sleeping it off in the back seat can get you arrested up here if you have the keys in your possession. Nowadays people are charged with impaired driving (note the wording above - any motorized vehicle) when driving an ATV or dirt bike - obviously NOT on a public road. Technically even a bicycle might qualify for the Highway Traffic Act offense (a vehicle), but not the “motorized vehicle” criminal offense (since yo are more a danger to yourself on a bicycle.)
The intent of the law is obvious. The police don’t have to wait until you start the vehicle or pull onto the street to apprehend you, because you can be dangerous anywhere; and they did not want the “now that I’ve come to rest against the house I’m no longer on the public road” to be a defense either. So yes, do not be at all inside the vehicle with keys while over the 0.08 limit.
As for open liquor - the rule I was told, with hatchbacks you have the same problem. Put the open bottle inside a container you obviously cannot open easily and place it as far from the driver as possible. If the cop decides to be a dick and charge you, the defense that “it was closed, in a zipped up backpack, in the far corner of the vehicle where I could not reach it” could convince a judge. Whereas “I was just sitting on it to prevent it from rolling around” won’t get you any judicial understanding. Regardless, yes, open liquor is something you transport carefully.
There are a lot of interesting laws. You can also be charged for transporting a loaded weapon (ammunition/ magazine must be out; and IIRC trigger lock in?), and your vehicle may be liable for confiscation under some provinces’ game laws. Ditto no shooting at game within 500 feet of a road.
Being a hillbilly CAN get you in trouble. This is not the land of the free, it’s the land of peace, order and good(??) government.
Do you have a cite for that? It’s not set out in s. 92 of the Constitution Act, 1867, which is
If Parliament wanted to limit it to acts committed on public property, I don’t see how that pushes the envelope. Federal laws apply on provincial law.
Well, that’s just one of the freedoms, and an important one. Would you believe that we even consider open carry as one of our freedoms.
It’s all about perspective. You all have the freedom to not worry about your health care, except for optical, dental, prescription drugs, and queues, anyway. Lots of folks here would give up their firearms freedom for your type of freedom.
What freedom is being chipped away at?
And how is it different from the US? In California, it’s illegal for anyone addicted to a drug to drive a vehicle even if they’re not on the drug at the time they’re driving. (VC 23152 ©) That seems a hell of a lot more intrusive to me.
I’ll let you in on a secret - we have lots of guns up here, too, as well as UHC. 
The freedom of not being punished for doing something you have not yet done. It’s ethics 101. You do not get to decide what I was or was not going to do.
And remind me never to go to California. I’m still involuntarily addicted to benzodiazepines after a flipping year. In fact, anyone treated by a psychiatrist couldn’t drive. Heck, you coffee drinkers can’t.
If your summary is correct, that is the dumbest law I’ve ever heard of in my life. Dumber than Arizona’s anti-immigration law, as it is bigoted against a lot more people. Remember once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic? That can apply to quite a large number of drugs. I’m surprised anyone drives in California at all.
Can you cite a Canadian criminal case where the accused has been convicted for something he or she has not yet done? To the best of my knowledge, there aren’t any–with the exception of “attempted murder” and “attempted kidnapping” and the like, of course. But I’m willing to be enlightened, if you have a cite.
But that’s not what the law says. It says you can’t be in control of a motor vehicle if you’re drunk, no matter where you are. There’s no law that says you can be arrested for intending at some point in the future to be in control of a motor vehicle when you’re drunk.
Exactly. The law says “in control of” not “driving”. Having the keys and being in the vehicle is sufficient control to get you charged.
Similarly, possession sufficient quantities of illegal substance beyond typical personal use amounts generally net you a “possession for purpose of trafficking” charge (or whatever it is down there) whether you try to sell any or not. The law makes assumptions to simplify the process.
Occasionally (rarely) the law nails guys sleeping it off. Generally what it means is that the police do not have to wait until you start the engine and begin to pull away from the curb before they try to flag you down (Oh goody, let’s stand in front of the drunk driver and wave). As soon as they see you entering a vehicle they can ask for proof of sobriety.
No, md2000, in Canada being drunk while having the keys and being in the vehicle is not sufficient to get you charged. Please review the Supreme Court of Canada case law that I cited up-thread.
How do they treat motor homes? You’re sure as hell in control of your motor vehicle at the campground.
Don’t sit in the driver’s seat with the ignition key if you are drunk.
Muffin’s advice is the best here. I’ll add that I seem to recall that there are alcohol-related laws and regulations that apply to vehicles that contain living quarters: self-propelled motor homes, yachts, and the like. Among other things, these define what qualifies as a vehicle in which alcohol can be consumed (e.g. there is an on-board washroom and kitchen), and the circumstances under which it can be consumed (e.g. when parked for the night). Regardless, operating the vehicle while under the influence is illegal.
While that may or may not be the case wherever you’re located, it’s certainly not universally true in the US. Most states will penalize a DUI on private property.
Here in Ontariariario the Liquor Licence Act permits you to drink in residences and the land beside your residence (including tents and the land beside your tent), and certain private places defined in its regs, which include boats with permanent sleeping, cooking and crapping facilities but only when not underway, and motorhomes when parked off the highway and being used as a residence. Law Document English View | Ontario.ca http://www.e-laws.gov.on.ca/html/regs/english/elaws_regs_900718_e.htm
The thing to remember is that the LLA is a provincial law that has nothing to do with the Criminal Code. For example, if a person has parked his or her motorhome for the night in a campground and is enjoying a brewski in the driver’s seat with the key in the ignition and the motor running to charge the aux batteries, there is no LLA violation, but there is a Criminal Code “care and control” violation.
It must be the responsibility of the motor home owner to find out what the drinking and driving laws are for them, but I wonder how that works - I don’t know what those laws are or even how to find them, and you sure don’t want to find out the hard way.
In Alberta, it is similar as I described it above for Ontario. Refer to the Criminal Code of Canada, and Alberta’s Gaming and Liquor Act http://www.canlii.org/en/ca/laws/stat/rsc-1985-c-c-46/latest/rsc-1985-c-c-46.html http://www.canlii.org/en/ab/laws/stat/rsa-2000-c-g-1/latest/rsa-2000-c-g-1.html
Or just ask Spoons and buy him a beer.
That would be okay with me. Looking forward to our next meeting, Cat Whisperer! Oh–you mean I have to do research first? 
Seriously, Muffin, thanks for clarifying. I was going on information I recalled from years ago, when I was living in Toronto and my buddy and I would sail around Lake Ontario in a 26-foot sloop. It had bunks, a galley, and a head, and so we could consume alcohol aboard, but (as I recall) not while we were underway–only when we were docked for the night. Old information, and anecdotal, so I’m glad to see a more authoritative cite. Thanks!