Oh, for the record I should point out that my standing on the whole name issue was simply that I didn’t want to change my last name. I have an unusual ethnic name that means a lot to me, while MrWhatsit’s “maiden” name was one of the 15 most common surnames in the US. His response was, “That’s fair; why don’t I change mine instead?” I nearly fell over. But he felt strongly that as a family we should all have the same last name, and he wasn’t particularly attached to his, so we did it.
My family was a little more approving than his was, although nobody really gave us any crap about it. His mom does still send us letters and cards addressed to the HisName-MyNames, though, even though we’ve told her a million times that we didn’t hyphenate. Oh, well. If it makes her feel better…
Apparently my brother’s in-laws did this. Of course I’m getting this second hand but apparently the mother’s family was richer. So the end result is that he took her last name.(Actually my sister-in-law said it had something to do with Japanese culture. No idea if that’s true since I’m of european decent.)
My husband and I both agreed that our children would have my last name. He did want to make sure that he had a name in common with his future children, but he wanted to keep using his own name, so he hyphenated. He generally goes by his laddie name, but used his married name on official documents and things.
We did get a lot of crap about this decision when we married. Lots of people condescendingly told us that we would soon get over our silly arrangement, and that I would end up using his name. And we would certainly give any children his name, because that’s just the way it’s done. Strangely enough, when we actually did give our child my last name, nobody said a word.
This shows up frequently in my school’s alumni magazine. In the “Keeping in Touch” column I’ve noticed “Mary (Smith '90) and John (Jones '90) Houlighan welcomed a son on. . .”
I’m all for making it meaningful to you and so forth, but the one couple I was actually acquainted with who did this easch started out with one syllable, easily pronounced and spelled surnames. Now together they have one 3 syllable name which might be easy to spell or pronounce if you’re fluent in czech.
I wouldn’t mind changing my name, except that my last name is so unique (before my brother got married and had kids, there were only 6 of us in the United States) that I just can’t abandon it. I feel like doing so would be a betrayal of my family, since there are so few of us. But, if my last name were something common, I’d probably change it. The idea of changing one’s last name seems kinda neat to me, like you get to become another person.
My brother and his wife took a new last name that described them, it apparently means “dark haired one” in German (part of their shared heritage).
I don’t know what my boy and I will do if we decide to get married… I like mine, and he like his, so we discussed hyphenating, but that would make my initials NMNN. (we’ll probably just keep our names) Also, our names are astoundingly similar. I’ve mentioned them on this board before, so I’ll do it again, skiptracers be damned.
My name would be FilmGeek M. Newland-Neuman. Yeah, say it out loud. That’s not right. Though it is our cat’s last name.
My husband wanted to combine our last names. I thought the combination–“Bagrow”–sounded too much like where hobbits live. After much angsting, I took his last name and dropped my lousy first name, having always gone by my middle name anyway.
I’ve met a fair number of couples in Japan who’ve taken the wife’s famly name. In some cases, it’s because the wife’s family has only daughters, and they want someone to have grandkids that will carry on the family name. Others choose based on which family they’ll live with or simply which name they like better. From what I’ve heard, it’s about 95% husband’s name, 5% wife’s name.
So far, Japan doesn’t allow couples to use separate names on their marriage certificate or on official forms. The issue comes up for discussion by the Parliament every once in a while, but either dies out or gets shouted down by the 90-year-old LDP farts who are still debating in between naps whether to withdraw the troops from Singapore. The only exception to this rule, interestingly, is when a Japanese citizen marries a foreigner.
He said, one day early in our relationship, that he felt it was important that a husband and wife signal their unity under god by having the same name. I said that I was glad to hear that he was taking my name, as I would not change my name. He said he would be honored to take my name if I loved him enough to give it to him.
His last name was quite common and he was adopted late so did not have as much attachment to his last name as he might have.
IIRC, Jack White of the White Stripes took his (now ex-) wife’s name.
I couldn’t imagine taking someone else’s name, but on the other hand I don’t particularly care what my future wife does namewise. The kids, well, cross that bridge when I come to it…
My sister’s ex-husband took her last name when they were married. We believe it was in an attempt to hide from various law enforcement agencies. He also had multiple social security numbers.
A good friend of mine changed his last name to his wife’s last name about three years after they got married. They’d begun to plan on children (the first is due in a month !) and he decided that he had taken way too much teasing about his surname as a child and wouldn’t do that to his kids.
Originally, his wife had changed her name to his, and it was relatively easy for her to change it back. *He]/i] needed a court order, though, because the county registrar said “that isn’t done.”
(His original name is, nearly, “Stinky”.)
It may be a fraternal tendency; his brother’s wife uses her maiden name.
An old friend of mine got married back in the '80s. He and his wife both hyphenated their names. She has changed her surname at least twice, and I think (I’ve been out of contact with them for a while) that my friend is now using his wife’s latest adopted surname.
Heh, we talked about doing this. The best name we could come up with was Searockett, which is why we ditched the idea pretty fast…
Hmm. I wonder if it’s too late to suggest Sockett?
I offered to change to a hybrid name, but the wife wanted the full hyphenated shebang (which, considering her original name is a two-parter anyway, is quite long). I didn’t, so I’ve kept my original name.
I grew up with an unappealing surname. I figured I would one day take my wife’s name. I got engaged. I offered to take her name, but she did not want to be untraditional and insisted on taking my surname. So, I went to court and changed my surname to my mother’s maiden name, which is actually quite a spiffy name indeed. Then, the engagement fell apart for other reasons, and I moved away. Now, I have my mother’s maiden name, and I like it.
In a related story, my oldest brother and his wife modified our family name upon marriage, but only slightly (to the old Germanic spelling). They now have two girls. My middle brother kept the family name but he does not want children. As mentioned previuosly, I have my mothers’ maiden name. So, we have a family of three boys with three different surnames, and the family name will probably not continue in any form.
