I really just let it wash over me without particularly caring. I have celebrated Christmas in the past if I had a Christian SO, or a good friend who invited me. Its fun as far as it goes but mostly I just feel outside of it, in a comfortable way. However, I hate the Christmas music that plays constantly everywhere and the crowds, and I get annoyed having to explain again that I don’t celebrate Christmas and no, I don’t feel deprived.
I really enjoy present-giving but I always do it on a “Channukah scale” as I think of it (small, no-big-deal presents). I don’t expect reciprocation – if I give someone a gift it’s because I felt like it, not because I want them to owe me something.
I stopped watching TV a few years back. You’d be surprised how much you’re -not- bombarded with xmas stuff when you stop doing that.
On the other hand, it still bums me out that I generally have nowhere to go and no one to hang out with on / around xmas when everyone is talking about what a good time they’ll be having with loved ones. I generally just end up bored and frustrated.
I’m Wiccan with a nominally Christian family, and I freakin’ LOVE Christmas. It’s all about good will and giving and pretty lights, and I can dig the story behind it, too. I can see how some people could feel left out, though.
Get over it, when you live in a country where one religion is overtly dominant over the rest, maybe we’re entitled to make more of a big deal, jeez. The OP sounds like a PC thug.
I can only conclude that you didn’t even read the OP. He’s not calling for change. He’s not saying that anyone is bad for celebrating their holiday. He’s merely saying that he feels alienated this time of year, feelings that are shared by many of us.
I don’t associate myself with any particular religion at the moment (although I’m considering just converting to Christianity because it would make so many people happy) but I think the commercialism takes a lot away from the holiday, and it depresses me.
WRT the togetherness aspect, I have such a hard time enjoying being together with my family that I don’t like it so much either, but that has nothing to do with religion.
I’m Jewish, and I love the holiday season. Maybe my Mom had the right idea when she decided to give us lots of Chanukah presents so we wouldn’t feel bad that we weren’t celebrating Christmas. But I don’t just like the season for the presents. I do fly across the country to spend Chanukah with my family every year – even though it’s a minor holiday, it still feels good to get together with them when everyone else is spending time with their families (I also spend Passover with them every year, just because it’s my favorite holiday).
I don’t celebrate Christmas at all – no tree, decorations or Christmas presents, and I usually don’t do anything special on December 25. But I’ve grown to appreciate the hustle and bustle, the decorations, and the general excitement of the season. I also love Christmas music and will sing holiday songs all season long.
agiantdwarf – I think maybe you’re not alienated because of your religion, but because you feel lonely. This is something that happens to many people, both Christian and non-Christian, at this time of year. It’s hard to look around and see the (media-generated) images of happy families and loving couples when that isn’t your experience. One of the best ways to deal with those feelings is to see the season as an opportunity to help someone who is feeling even more lonely and alienated. There are always numerous soup kitchens that need volunteers and nursing homes that need visitors. You might even see if there is a Jewish charity that could use some assistance (or not – I’ve sung Christmas carols at a nursing home before. Even though it’s not my holiday, I can still brighten it for someone else). And if you do volunteer, don’t make it only a seasonal thing. Plenty of people are eager to give during the holidays, but the need doesn’t end in January.
You might also research some Chanukah traditions to share with your family. My family has latke-fest, in which the entire family spends hours turning pounds and pounds of potatos into pancakes. You can also play dreidle, sing Chanukah songs (admittedly there aren’t many good ones), or even just spend time enjoying each others’ company. Some Jewish families even have Christmas Day traditions involving Chinese food and movies.
Don’t let the hype get to you. Find your own way to celebrate and make the season yours.
I have a Channukah day with my family too. It’s a day that I fucking dread. They’re fine in groups of two or three but all of them together at once gives me hives. I really do like giving gifts to my nieces and nephews but it’s not worth the hassle. My wife hates it too. Either she goes with me and is miserable the whole time or she doesn’t go and the family gets upset about it.
I think that SpoilerVirgin touched on an important point. Almost everyone hates the consumerism and sappy music and decorations. For those who celebrate, though, it’s all worth it because of the payoff at the end. Those of us who don’t celebrate the holiday don’t get that final payoff. It all kind of mercifully stops at some point but that’s about it.
Not alienated. It’s more like going to Provincetown for a month-long film festival of gay porno movies. “Gee, I’m glad everyone around me is having a good time. So, when’s this going to be over?”
I don’t feel that uncomfy about – well, I don’t want to say “celebrating Christmas,” because I’m not going to Midnight Mass or anything – We’ll say, I don’t feel uncomfy about sharing in most Christmas family traditions.
I like getting people gifts (okay, fine, receiving them too) and getting together with family, decorating, Christmas dinner, etc.
There is only so much schmaltz I can take, and I don’t particularly enjoy being in shopping mallls this time of year, but since I got rid of my TV, the “having-it-shoved-down-my-throat” irritation quotient is much lower. I also try to avoid the religious part as much as possible, and focus more on the family-custom (turkey+prezzies) part.
My family is Christian, and though my parents were quite strong believers, they never made a big deal about the religious aspect of Christmas etc. So it wasn’t that much of a stretch to bump it over to being an entirely secular observance for me.
I’m a Pagan, and I celebrate Yule as a religious holiday, but in a pretty much completely separate way. (FWIW, I do a rit, give Hamish his presents, make a solar meal with lots of citrus and stuff, and stay up all night until dawn to make sure the sun rises.)
Oh, as for the being-told-“Merry Christmas”-thing, I’ve pretty much come to ignore it; it’s pretty much phatic, with little more literal meaning than “Yours truly.”
If I’m feeling like a smart ass, I’ll just say “Blessed solstice” and let that be the end of it. Of course, if you get on my ass about that and/or get any more Jesussy at me than necessary, you will hear it from me.
I like buying presents for people. When I go down to Tx on my own (Cody and I go down together in Spring, and I go down alone in Fall), I take my friends presents. I buy Cody presents all the time. Xmas just gives me an excuse to buy everybody presents all at once.
I hate all the music, and the fact that displays and such are beginning to go up befor Halloween. One holiday at a time, folks!
When people (other than my dad or step-mom) tell me, “Merry Christmas,” I tell them, “Happy Solstice.” That makes them pause. Good times.
I’m not a Christian, but I was raised a Lutheran. I have no use for religious holidays, but whenever it was that I finally decided I didn’t believe in Christianity, I thought to myself, “Does this mean I can still celebrate Christmas?” And then I remembered that it was the pre-Christian pagans who started it, and although I was no longer a Lutheran, I was still a Viking, Odindammit, and I would sure as Hel celebrate Yule! Took about 5 seconds to figure that out. So I still partake in my family’s Christmas traditions, although I’m not big on the Christian aspect of it (although not offended; I don’t really mind as long as other people leave me out of their mythologies).
But I wish the season wouldn’t last so damn long. I can’t take more than a month of having the same ten crappy POW-torture-worthy songs drilled into my skull over and over. Three weeks or so would be just fine by me.
Another culturally Jewish agnostic here, one who the majority of his friends are Christians, and one who is normally pretty cynical about organized religion. But I gotta say, not only do I not feel alienated, I love this time of year. Love buying presents for friends. Love getting together for Christmas dinner and watching how happy it makes my friends. When I had roommates, I loved the experience of setting up the Christmas tree.
For me, as an ‘outsider’, the religious aspects of the season don’t mean anything, but I can still enjoy everything that goes with it; the sentiments, the sights, the sounds, the smells. And I really do love buying presents for everyone!
I don’t feel alienated. I enjoy walking around smirking at all the Pagan imagery all the Christians use at this time of year.
My daughter is pretty happy to be Pagan as well. Santa comes 4 days early for Pagan kids.
Our tradition isn’t about the whole “shopping season” either. For us the season is about helping each other make it through 'till spring, physically and psychologically. We spent about $100 this year on the holiday and that includes the tree.
I don’t think the OP, or for that matter anyone else not of christian denomination, should feel alienated during Christmas time. Especially not for the reasons that everywhere they look, there are christmas trees, presents being exchanged, santa, reindeers, red/white/green decoration, carols, etc.
All these things aren’t supposed to be even part of a christian’s celebration of christmas anyway.
Exchanging presents - not christian/catholic
Santa/Elves - not christian/catholic
Christmas tree - not christian/catholic (ever seen a christmas tree growing around Jerusalem where Jesus was born?)
Reindeers - as above regarding Christmas tree
Carols - perhaps 50% (WAG) of christmas carols aren’t even religiously oriented. Off the top of my head I can think of, “Frosty the snowman”, “Rudolph the red-nose reindeer”, “Deck the halls”, “Jingle bells”, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas”, “Silver Bells”, “You better watch out, you better not cry”, “I saw mummy kissing Santa”, the list goes on
I am of course assuming that the OP is feeling alienated because of all the supposed religious symbols and symbolisation that is all around during christmas time. The point is, the only thing that is remotely religious about the christmas symbols we see during christmas time are the 50% (probably less) of christmas carols that have a religious theme to it (“First Noel”, “Asleep in a manger”, “Silent Night”), and perhaps the angel or star on top of a christmas tree.
