I’m not an atheist, nor an agnostic – I believe in “God,” for lack of a better term – but I’m not a Christian in any but the loosest of cultural senses. And for a variety of reasons, some of them theological and some of them personal, I don’t celebrate Christmas.
Which means that I’ll spend the next month in an ongoing state of bemusement mixed with alienation. There are a few traditions I participate in (sending cards to friends; watching Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol), but I pick and choose them – and the whole “buy buy buy” frenzy is something I’ll sit out completely. It’s all a matter of keeping my head down and not letting other people’s nutsiness get to me.
How do other non-celebrants get through the season? (Note: If you want to bash Christians and Christianity, pls. start your own thread in the Pit or GD, as appropriate – this isn’t about the evils of Christmas, just how to do the season if you don’t celebrate it.)
I use the free time to work, to write or paint, to watch old movies again, to have fun generally. Is there a problem here? If I informed you that you would get off work on January 12th, which is Richard Nixon’s birthday, what would you do with the time, if you won’t be spending it commemorating Nixon’s greatness? You’d do whatever you like doing, right?
Am I not getting your question?
(I want to bash Christians and Christianity, I just won’t indulge myself, no matter how you tempt me. I refuse.)
I’m not trying to pick a fight here, pseud – I’m trying to not pick a fight, in fact.
So you’re saying you just remain totally oblivious to the various trappings and activities, and regard it as a little extra time off for yourself? Because I’m not asking about what you’ll be doing on Dec. 25th (me: probably hang out and watch movies, maybe make something nice for dinner, maybe not bother), but how you react to “Christmas Christmas Christmas” every time you walk out your door – or stay home and turn on the TV, for that matter.
A friend and I met for our weekly coffee this morning, and the radio in the coffee place was tuned to the “all-xmas-all-the-time” station, and we both just kind of looked at each other and said, “yeah, I’m tired of it already.”
I’m not Christian either (committed atheist) but was raised in the states. I absolutely despise the commercial aspect of the holiday even much more than I dislike religion, so I keep trying to get my SO to accept a 'let’s drop it and let the Christians have it back" move in the house but he’s close to his family and gets sucked into the gift-buying thing because of that. I get increasingly irritated as December rolls along, first getting aggressively sacreligious, and then realizing that capitalism bothers me more so then I get ranting Marxist. I’ve tried asking people (really mostly his family) to not get me gifts but it’s not working. Sigh. I guess the ‘holiday’ aspect isn’t bad but I hate hate hate the commercialism and the awful music, so I just try to de-capitalize it, as it’s already been be de-religioned. Other than getting a few packages and sending out some packages and getting some time off it goes largely unnoticed and we sit around and eat pizza and play Halo if we stay at home, and drink strong egg nog and get stupid before noon and play a lot of Munchkin if we go ‘home’; if my sister’s around there tends to be a booze-laden gen-X sing-along to the Pogues “Fairytale of New York”. Blink at the glurgy e-mail from southern relatives, humor my mother-in-law’s lukewarm and benign attempts to enforce traditionalism with a Bob Denver Christmas and rosette-cookie disasters. Oh, and my mom sends a package of cookies which we whorf through and deer jerky that we whorf not so much. We send out new year’s cards (usually with a boozy theme) to keep in touch with people. Boxing Day is our parrot’s hatchday so we get him a little piñata and sit him on top of a bowl of almonds and let him get to it until he’s done. For a couple of days then we fret about what to do for New Years since we feel like such losers, and then we realize that we just want to stay at home and drink wine and watch Buffy.
Wow, this has got me really realizing it’s late November and all this is approaching.
As an atheist, I ignore the whole thing.
I just got conned by my mother into “doing something” at Thanksgiving. Which I couldn’t get out of because I’d already made my excuses for the Friday when Sis was throwing a delayed Thanksgiving feast (due to travel schedules of guests).
The “doing something”, however, consisted of pancake lunch at the local pancake house and a major movie. No feast, no fowl.
For xmas I not only do nothing special, but have dissuaded everyone I know from even exchanging cards. That was a habit I suffered with while my father was alive, because he liked to make his own, and I couln’t hurt his feelings. Sisters are different. She doesn’t give a whit about my holiday feelings or lack thereof.
Sis still tries to get around the card ban by disguising the card as an invitation to watch her brood open endless ill-chosen and unappreciated presents. Knowing full well I would never come.
She makes sure there is no printed greeting inside the card, just a snowy scene outside. Bah! An xmas card without a greeting is still an xmas card.
And she’s not religious either for that matter, just stewed in Hallmark “tradition”.
As far as I’m concerned, the December holiday is the Solstice. Whoo Hoo! The sun is coming back! We’re not going to freeze to death in the dark! Most of the “Christmas” tokens are really pagan – mistletoe, holly, pine trees, candles – and the rest are just secular add-ons – Santa Claus, elves, reindeer, etc.
Regardless of what you call it, I love the holiday.
We’re not religious, nor do we go whole hog, or any-hog, really, in celebrating Xmas. We give gifts to each other, but it’s something we wanted and would have bought ourselves. My wife and I have always hated getting useless trinkets that get stashed away in a closet for decades. I’ve already bought her all the hair accessories and nail polish a person could ever use, and neither of us is into “stuff.” We have our own areas of interest, so we each make a list of things we’d like, and then we get some of them. It’s always a surprise which one(s). But then we can both be sure that the other is happy with what they got.
My wife tries to think of something to get her parents that won’t be consigned to the junk piles, and she gets her brother and his girlfriend something they can use. Otherwise, we don’t even own any decorations. We can’t have a tree, because the cats would wreck it. I can envision one or more cats wandering around with a string of tinsel hanging out of their butt, having eaten it, so a tree is out.
The past seven years, we have always driven to Jacksonville to spend the night before and day of with my wife’s parents and her grandma. This year, her brother is coming off the road for only one day, Nov. 30th. So we are going to have both Thanksgiving and Xmas on that day. This year will be the first we will have spent actual Xmas ourselves at home. We will likely give each other another present or two, and then do pretty much what we’re doing now.
I suppose my feelings around the month of December boil down to a theological/philosophical jambalaya. Heh…“boil down to”…heh…
My immediate family is not religious, but my extended family is Christian. I grew up mostly immersed in the traditions of tree decorating, shopping for and exchanging presents, yummy food & seasonal music. My family never went off the deep end with the consumerism and gifts. We stuck to modest and affordable tokens of caring for one another. One of my favorite traditions were the “stockings” that my grandmother put together for everyone all through the previous year. They were each filled with a half dozen or so $2 toys/puzzles/games and some candy.
At the far fringes were occasional visits to the churches attended by my extended family, which I always found culturally fascinating. My mom and also sometimes attended a practice or two with my grandmother in her choir and got to sing for the congregation. This was always a treat because I loved to sing and had little to no access to any other choral environment.
A few days prior to either traveling to my grandmother’s house across the state, or waiting for our relatives to travel to our house, my mom and I would attend a big solstice party thrown by our more leftist/hippy friends, and I always enjoyed it very much. There was a big decorated tree, lots of food, lots of singing around the piano, and big circle of held hands outside under the crisp air of the full moon.
Once I was out on my own I opted for the same general traditions but sans all things Christ, as much as was possible. During the years that I was not willing or able to travel cross-country to be with my family this was quite easy. Many of my freinds (lesbian/gay/otherwise) resonated with the traditional and pagan aspects of the season. When I’d go home with the family I would write “Happy Solstice” on the gifts I gave.
This year, for the first time in many many years, I’m going to be home in my hometown for solstice, and I really hope there’s going to be a big Solstice party again. I very much want to go with my Mom just like the good old days. A few days after that, my mom and I will be driving down to my grandma’s house with a small freshly cut spruce to decorate for her on Christmas Eve. My grandmother is 88 this year, and still lives independently. With each year that goes by, it is the importance of family and the nostalgia of the many years past that is the most powerful theme of the winter holidays, especially since the unexpected death of my father due to illness a few years ago.
My family half-celebrates it, even though the only christian in my immediate family is my brother. I fly home for a week or so to see the family and enjoy some home-cooked meals (including turkey and other holiday-type stuff). The only decorations we put up are lights and a tree. The only gifts we exchange are chocolates, but we do take the time to buy ourselves a few trinkets that we want; this year I want one PS2 game and help picking out a new cell phone (which I need for work). We don’t do cards or carols, and none of us exchange gifts with anyone outside the immediate family. I guess you could call it a half-assed Christmas. I rather like it; it’s very low-stress.
I like the idea of calling it a Solstice celebration. I’m gonna run it by the folks.
I’m an atheist and generally don’t give two bits about the holidays, though I will admit that the concept of setting a day aside to exchange gifts with family and friends is a nice one.
That pretty much sums it up for me, too . . . Though now that I think of it, I pretty much spend my whole life in an ongoing state of bemusement mixed with alienation, Christmas or no.
I do celebrate New Year, though, with amusing and inventive cards which I send out to 80-some friends, family, business acquaintances. I’ve just about got them all addressed and signed.
Read that first line again. I have a relative (married to a now retired minister) whose particular sect is strongly anti-Christmas. Easter is the Important Day.
So no Christmas cards, no wishing a “Merry Christmas,” etc. You know, a typical group of those “War on Christmas” Christians.
Part of their reasoning also relates to how Christmas is just a pain in the neck, retail oriented, secular holiday. I’m with them on that.
I am not religious but I still enjoy Christmas and Chanukah. I consider Christmas the celebration of Capitalism. We put up our artificial tree each year. We buy presents for the kids and all the adults in my family, put names in a hat and draw them forth to limit the buying madness to just 1 nice gift per person. My kids and my nephew in college are the only ones that still get gifts from all.
We all enjoy Holiday music, my wife as much as anyone and she is Jewish. We light the Menorah every day and give out small presents for every day of Chanukah. We will not go nuts looking for special exclusive gifts for the kids like PS3 or Tickle me Elmos. The kids occasionally get disappointed that they do not get everything they wanted. We do not attend church or temple. We do look forward to the original “Grinch” each year and I look forward to the original “Miracle on 34th street”.
My sister has a Christmas party every December. My older sister hosts Xmas Eve where we share the gifts. Christmas morning we open the gifts and usually my brother has stayed over, so he is part of it. Then we head down to my parents for the big Christmas Dinner. My sisters now do the bulk of the cooking and bring it with them, as my Mom just is not up to the job anymore.
I do not send out cards and I have not for a long time. I think since before my daughter was born. I wish people a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. We enjoy driving through the mostly Italian neighborhoods that go completely nuts with light displays. I guess we have the best of three worlds. We celebrate the parts of Christmas & Chanukah we enjoy and keep discussions of God out of it. I also avoid killing a tree for no sensible reason each year and I have never figured out even why religious folk want to celebrate the birth of Christ by killing a nice tree.
Jim {I hope I stayed non-religious enough twickster.}
Well, isn’t it basically a crypto-religious holiday? You’re pressured to get together with your extended family (rather than your more entertaining and pleasant pals) and “give thanks” (to whom?) and someone will think there should be a prayer, and there will be bickering. More in common with Xmas or Easter than New Years or 4th of July or Labor Day, no?
I know there is an old tradition of giving thanks to god, but we have never done so on Thanksgiving. It has always been an American Holiday to us where the family gets together for a good time and to overeat. Besides, I am close to my family and look forward to get togethers. I was disappointed; none of my in-laws made it this year. They all live outside of NJ and for the first time, no one in my wife’s family made it to turkey day.
I don’t have much family left, and those few I have live several hundred miles away. I loathe Christmas music, decorations, and most of all the pressure to participate in “good cheer” and spending too much money on family members. I give one gift (or certificate) to the niece and nephew, and some cash for my sister, who needs it more than a bunch of crap. My colleagues get handmade candles and soaps from me in a little gift bag, just so I don’t feel guilty because they give me crap every year.
Honestly, I get kind of angry about the rushing around and crowding in stores this time of the year. If I have to go to a store for, you know, regular stuff like toothpaste and underwear, I know I’ll have to put up with a million people standing in line buying boatloads of crap.
But on Christmas Day, I sleep in, then roll over and take a nap to rest up for my afternoon snooze. It’s a paid holiday off, and that’s pretty much it.
