Ok. I have a somewhat odd, and irritating problem.
My head sweats 4 gallons a second if I’m under any physical stress, or I’m too hot. The rest of my body is perfectly normal, and maybe even less than normal as far as the amount of sweat, but my forehead and sides of my head put out a ridiculous amount of sweat.
Since I can’t paste antiperspirant all over my head (can I? 
), is there some way I can slow the sweat coming out of my head?
Well, shorter hair, and being in better overall shape (lean) is the obvious. Heavier folks weigh more and sweat more (as a physical requirement they need to sweat more).
You probably can’t do much, since it’s your head, but I believe some areas of the body that have overactive sweat glands can have their sweat glads treated or destroyed to reduce sweat.
Sweat is tricky business, because controlling it is trying to scale back your bodies cooling regulatory system. We can get away with it under the arms, but reducing sweat in bigger areas is dangerous to the internal organs that suffer from overheating.
Reduce sweating by being in good overall health/weight, and improving your cardiovascular system through exercise and nutritition.
Any other suggestions?
Decapitation? 
You knew someone would have this web address.
Lighten up on the beer…
Ha. You ask the impossible.