Anybody else feeling a bit hostile?

Lets see, my practice is fucked because Courts are closes, my parents business, which depends heavily on clients in Germany, France, Spain and Italy is going to struggle mightily, a vacation I had planned for August in Germany seems shot, my parents are in the risk category, my BIL and sister are in self isolation and the world is shutting down…yes I am angry as hell.

There is a Corrs song from the 1990’s. Called So Young. My mind is playing it on loop with the word “Young” replaced by “fucked”.

I ate a guy.

I am the floater at work. This means that because I am not assigned to a classroom, I am not eligible to do any prep work for the anticipated return, and clock in a few hours a week.

There’s a limit to the number of people who can be in the building at a time, so even the people who are assigned to rooms are only going in for like, two hours a week, gathering stuff they can take home, and clocking in a few more hours at home, but still, 10 hours a week is better than 0 hours a week.

I’m a little hostile about that. Yes, it was my choice to be the floater, and not be assigned to a classroom, and there were some “perks” from that. I have two “on-call” days where they have the right to call me by 9:30am and say “Come in,” and I can’t refuse, but if they don’t call me, I am free, and still get paid 2 hours. They occasionally call me after 9:30, and I go in about 75% of the time-- I only refuse if I have made an doctor/dentist/vet appointment, or the like, need to take my car in, etc. They call me before 9:30, I’d say, about 4 out of 5 days, and after 9:30 about 1/3 of the days that are left.

I actually go in two other days, and Fridays, which is the slow day (I have no idea why, just fewer kids that day), they can call me, but I can refuse, and I don’t get paid unless I go in.

I really wish they’d offered me 4 hrs. pay a week. That would be extremely helpful. Even two would be 1/4 of our rent. But I’m getting nothing.

I’m not hostile, exactly, just a little resentful. I get it that with the rabbi, the assistant rabbi, the preschool director, the synagogue executive director, the religious school director, and a couple of maintenance people, there’s only room for two teachers, to total nine people in the building, and they are trying to limit the occupancy to 10. They want to have one “opening” in case a congregant come in with a problem. That means there’s room for one head teacher and one classroom aide.

But Geez, I could drive up, pick up some prep work in my car, and drive off, without going in the building.

Oh well. We have savings. I don’t like living off of them, though, and watching them dwindle, so I am looking into the possibility of getting a temp job in one of the places that is actually being swamped with customers-- grocery stores and food delivery. I’m checking with Uber to see if I can sign up for only Uber Eats, or if I have to drive people as well; I’m looking into Amazon flex; and I may put in an app at some place like Walmart/Kroger/Meijier. I’m actually very hirable for customer service, because I know both Spanish and American Sign Language.

I just need to bring in about $500/month. Our expenses have actually gone down during this period. And I don’t mind using a small amount of savings-- I mind depleting them. I also don’t mind running up a credit debt of a few hundred dollars. I mind running up a debt of a few thousand.

My parents got stuck in a credit card situation, when my father got stuck in Moscow, because he was there during the coup, when Communism fell. He was supposed to leave the following week, but couldn’t leave for six weeks, and didn’t have enough money, so he had to use credit cards, including buying traveler’s checks on his American Express. He had to buy like, $2000 in traveler’s checks, then my parents had to use the Visa to pay the American Express (back them, AE didn’t have a limit, but you had to pay the balance every month). They had another charge card too, which my father had charged a lot to. His grant wouldn’t extend his stay, and he had to pay for his own hotel the five weeks he was stuck.

Took my parents like, 8 or 10 months to get out from under that debt. At least lots of people were asking my father to write articles and give lectures about his experience during the coup, and that brought in extra money to help pay the cards off.

Due to my company’s particular brand of dysfunction (I really do like my job. And the company is mostly very good - there are just some areas where we can use improvement), we’re using Skype, Slack, Teams, and email (there’s also one department that uses Workplace; luckily, I’m not working on anything with them right now). So there are 4 different things pinging and conversations bounce from one platform to another, so you have to pay attention to all of them. Most people are sane about response times though (one of the ways the company is really quite good.)

There’s just a lot more stress, fewer outlets to both let out the stress or relieve it, and that can be a bit hostile making.

Not hostile here, just anxious, worried sick about going broke, wondering what will happen if I get sick.

I am not dealing with the stress of constant interruptions as some of you describe - if I were, damn right I’d start feeling hostile. As it is, I feel … kind. They don’t call Hawai’i “the aloha state” for nothing. I am not seeing people very much at all (which is fine by me, I’m a natural hermit) but when I do, we are very solicitous of each other.

I also find Minecraft to be an excellent way to calm my mind when my world gets a bit hectic. Throw in a quality audiobook, a beer and at least 30min of peace and all is right with world sooner rather than later. Thought it was just me.

Not hostile, but rather nervous for the immediate future.

Most of my interactions with live people currently are on the highway, where it certainly seems as though there are more aggressive drivers out and about, cutting into my lane while overtaking, driving way above the speed limit, etc. There’s always been some of that in the Houston area, but seems to be more prevalent, even though overall traffic volumes are much lower.

No. I’m calm.

Traffic is certainly lighter.

Nobody is left around here to feel hostility towards. We’re all snowed in. Asshole neighbor’s asshole dogs are kept inside, not barking. Speeders don’t raise dust sloshing down our muddy road. Solicitors and bears haven’t defiled our porch. I’m a little annoyed at robocalls and a delayed trash pickup, but I don’t watch TV, so what’s to hate?

Jeez, don’t even joke like that! How do you know he was “clean”?

Uh… wait, wait… so, where are you located? No reason, just making conversation.

No, I’m feeling very sad. For all of humanity.

“Can I get the icon in cornflower blue?”

My main feeling is being antsy. I want to get out of the house, go somewhere, etc. … Something that I actually don’t normally do. The “usual” was go to the pool 3 times a week and a couple of shopping+whatever trips. The pool’s closed. But I still want to go out more than I used to. I want to “experience normality” before it gets really bad.

I have a huge need to be outside as much as possible too. I have dogs and I’ve been on vacation this week of all weeks (who knew back when I put in for it?) so they’ve been getting spoiled with two long walks every day.

Something like this?

There is a definite ‘cabin fever’ effect. Also, the internet seems to amplify things to a level that is worrisome: just because the stores were out of food definitely does not mean that at right this moment they are not restocked with most things. Just because gun stores are having runs on guns and ammo does not mean that the people who live around or near me are psychotic gun nuts, hell bent on breaking down doors and taking other people’s things… aka my door, my things.

Over reaction is stupid and I will not be stampeded like cattle, I will not run to the sea like a lemming, and I will not live my life as if police/prisons/consequences don’t exist.

I am not hostile in general, however, I do find that I have a hostile reaction to specific situations. Just because YOU want to panic and run around screaming hair-a-fire doesn’t mean I should too.

I am antsy because of the uncertainty of the immediate and long term future. There is a strong possibility that I will be without an income in about a week. Add onto that the fact that my retirement (which I was on target to do in about a year) account has lost a quarter of it’s value, and I am concerned about money.

I will probably transition from antsy to worried very soon.

snerk

I am NOT fucking HOSTILE, you ragged turd! I am just as fucking PLEASANT and CALM as I can fucking BE! I don’t allow NOTHING to piss me off - nothing is fucking worth any fucking aggravation. I am fucking NORMAL! Feel my pulse! :cool:

Traffic is lighter, but twice in the past few days, I’ve seen non-emergency vehicles blatantly run red lights, and there’s been a dramatic increase in litter in recent days. :mad: