At the behest of Athena, Sovran of Olympus, Rhymer Enterprises is currently prepping for a mission to save Hypatia from the grisly fate history records for her. Don’t bother asking what God wants with Hypatia, because I didn’t. That is not my concern, as Athena’s like Lola.
Anyway, the Operations Departments has prepared a Burroughs-Libby continua buggy for the trip back in time; Supplies has stocked said with provisions, coin and clothing of the day, a universal translator, and so forth; and Autopsy has provided a corpse to put place of the rescued mathematician so that thinks don’t look to hinky. But I’ve still hit some minor snags. I can’t return to the date & place of Hypatia’s murder myslf because there’s an unacceptable risk of running into a certain Gallifreyan and his redheaded Scottish companion, and I don’t intend to deal with that do-gooder until I’m ready to DEAL with him. I also can’t use any of the staff minions, as there will be absolutely no murdering on this mission, and peaceable problem solving is out of their wheelhouse. Thus I have decided to recruit a Doper to take the buggy back, rescue Hypatia by whatever means they decide, and take her to the safehouse Athena has provided. After the job’s completion, you’ll be allowed to use the continua buggy for 336 hours of subjective time; it’ll be set so that you can visit anywhere in the world any time between the birth of Socrates and the death of Constantine.
Any takers? How will you spend your two weeks in the ancient world?
I am going straight to Ancient Gaul or Celtiberia for linguistic fieldwork. How much technology can we bring? If it’s just what I can carry, I’ll probably aim for the 1st century AD so I can save time and start with bilingual Latin speakers.
Knock yourself out. The integrity of the time stream is not my concern, as I am not on the side of puppies and lollipops. And if you don’t ask Operations for some basic weaponry and a force-shield belt, you will not be judged an acceptable agent in the short term.
I don’t think a video camera will do you much good, though, assuming your intent for the personal time was for scholastic purposes.
I always wanted to rescue Lady Jane Grey. She got a raw deal. The question is, bring her all the way forward to current times and send her to OxCam for a doctorate in either political science or theology, or find a pivotal point in the years between then and now to insert her as a guerrilla reformer.
I think it would have to be Rome, for me. When is tricky–there are a few eras/events that would be interesting. I’d have to decide whether I wanted to tour the Empire or dive into some particular historical happening. If the former, I’d shoot for the Pax Romana of Augustus’s reign and make the grand tour. If the latter, it’s hard to pick–the last days of Caesar, the Gracchii Brothers, the revolt of Spartacus…
Skald, I asked you to DO this, not delegate it. You better not screw this one up, because while you were busy writing up forum posts, I took it upon myself to gather up all those potentially-unused oyster shells. I know they worked on Hypatia; I may have to see how they might work on a certain Rhymer.
Hook me up with a high quality but unobtrusive digital camera, as much memory as I can carry, and let me spend two weeks copying as much of the Library at Alexandria I can. Especially if I can take along a few “slaves” to fetch, unroll, roll and return all the scrolls.
Respectfully, you said to get it done without murdering anyone in Hypatia’s time, and that the primary concern was the safety of Hypatia so that she might serve you in for Your mysterious project. As it has been foretold (by the oracles You yourself wrested from Your lesser brother Apollo!) that my next encounter with the Gallifreyan will be the death of one of us, and since it is already known that the Doctor survives his association with the Pond woman, I cannot guarantee success if I myself undertake the mission. Moreover, you have always said that you respect results more than kow-towing–that you are a rational God, not a insecure one like You-know-who.
If You desire a champion who does not exercise his own judgment, your brother Heracles is available, or perhaps the Daxamite.
I am willing to fund this project but I believe you are approaching it unwisely. The digital pictures of the Library’s contents will not be useful for scholarship, as you won’t be able to demonstrate their provenance. You will be better served by accumulating scrolls & parchment and, on the nights before the fire, substituting them for the actual inventory, then burying them someplace where you can discover them in the present day.
I’ve had a rough month… plop me down on any given deserted island with plenty of edible fruit and vegetables, and no humans/bitey animals. Birds, fish, and local kittens would be acceptable.
Too iffy. 2000 years is a long time for things to go wrong. I don’t care about the provenance. I want the poetry and literature. Not to mention the maps to treasure mines now lost to History. If provenance is needed, I can just swipe a few scrolls that I have recorded and bury those. The knowledge is what counts. After proving the digital images are accurate a few dozen times, the scientific community will accept the rest. If not, then I’ll be the only one who knows how good a poet Sappho was.
I wanna go with Mangetout. I’m also going to beg and make appropriate sacrifices till Athena lets us stretch the timeline a bit and go hang out in Minoan Crete. I want to watch the bull dancers. And I want to go to Ephesus, and Delphi, and how fast does this buggy travel anyway?
From the point of view of somebody inside? As quickly as you can say, “Gay Deceiver, take me to Rome on the Ides of March, 44 BCE, at about dawn.”
You can try. But RhE is not in the business of rescuing you if you get lost.
Not ancient, sorry. And even if it were, RhE has an…interest…in seeing that that event happened precisely as it did in the current history, not as in the prior timeline in which Lady Jane reigned for 56 years and …
Well, never mind. You’ll just start crying.
Seriously, you’re going to say that to ME? Yes, you’re on the Short List and everything, but that still doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do something cruel for yuks.
Interestingly, the largest uninhabited islands at the time period specific were the North and South Islands of New Zealand. (The Maori first arrived there about 1200 AD.) In addition, Hawaii was uninhabited, since the Hawaiians arrived there about 800 AD. A visit to either would be interesting, to document what the flora and fauna were like before human intervention.
