So…
The Suicide Cessna caught Flight 800 in a tractor beam, dropped it 3,500 feet, slowed it 190 knots, turned it upside down, then ripped it apart in the vicinity of the center fuel tank. Then and only then did they fire 3 missiles at it (Meyer, **Jetblast **insists, saw 3 distinct ordinance explosions remember, and we’ve just got to believe him because of Nam or something) such that passengers on board were riddled by shrapnel but the airframe itself was untouched.
The shrapnel, we now see, was made mostly of aluminum, a bit of titanium, and some other metals, exactly the general composition of an airframe but of course this was merely part of the disguise! “Origin unknown” means it wasn’t part of something known, not just that we couldn’t decide what common part it had once been, right? And it was not inconsistent with some other flying thingy, like a missile, because only missiles of all flying thingies are mostly aluminum with some titanium and…
Then the plotters landed the Cessna and resumed their day jobs as FBI agents and US Navy personnel. Some of them later snuck into the reconstruction hangar and used some of the shrapnel they had confiscated from those damn bothersome coroners and used it to weld up the shrapnel holes in the plane that the tractor beam had not been able to prevent. Oh, and to bash inn-y parts into out-ty parts, and vice versa, of course. Then they snuck out with the hangar’s microwave, because the one back at their office was busted.
Others of them manipulated the black boxes, which they had originally acquired while dismantling the Boeing with their tractor beams, replacing all the flight data recorded with bogus flight data that just happened to correspond to an airplane caught by a magical tractor beam. Then they dropped the black boxes into the ocean right under the search ships where, of course, they believed nobody would ever look. It would have worked, too, if not for those damn fishermen!
Jetblast, I’m with you!! I’m beginning to see it!!!
(head asplodes)