I do. I have no IDEA why my parents decided to do it that way, but that’s what they decided to do. My dad even suffers this same affliction. My brothers and sisters were all called by their first names, except for me, they decided to make my given name my middle name!
For those who don’t have to deal with this, we all have to live in a world with a split personality. The life of Firstname Lastname and the normal way you’d introduce yourself as Middlename Lastname.
Every class I go to, I always have to answer to Firstname Lastname. That’s not even ME! I hate it. In my recent foray in the return to university, I barely even correct them. I am not interested in making friends with the people in my classes (most are 18 years old) so who cares? Maybe I’ll do that later on but for now, I just cringe and accept Firstname Lastname as what it is.
Now, I had been really frustrated with this for a long time, it’s quite annoying, but I’ve dealt with it. Then I thought. You know? I could legally change my name to just Middlename Lastname and be done with all of this garbage. But on the other hand Firstname is still somewhat a part of me too. Mainly I like the way the initials work out. It sort of rolls well off the tongue in a JFK or FDR kind of way. Secondly, my email addresses. Every email address I’ve ever had has started with firstinitial middleinitial lastname in that fashion. Now that would screw that up, and I’ve had this email address for 4 years and its a good one at gmail, so I don’t think i’ll find a better one.
Just want to clarify. Your parents named you but insisted on calling you by your middle name? I know a few people like this and I never could understand it. Why not just name you that in the first place? I know a few people who hate their first name and go by the middle one but that was a choice they made when they were old enough to make the choice.
Yes, I never had any choice in the matter. I never decided to go by my middle name. It’s just the way it’s always been.
But I’ve been looking into the idea of actually changing my name and it seems like a logistical nightmare, plus I’d feel a bit weird about getting rid of the John. I don’t mind the John when getting mail. Plus it’s a very good way to screen out telemarketers and the like.
My half-brother is one of you. His first name is the same as his father. He goes by (and always has, from birth) his middle name. Professionally, he uses the form of FirstInitial. Middlename Lastname. He must not mind it too much, because he did the same set-up for his oldest son (passing down his father’s first name, as well).
My brother and my Dad both suffer from that affliction as well . The theory was that the first name was a traditional family name that is passed on from father to son (apparently the last name is not enough). The middle name is the name that the parents wanted to name the kid without the tradition.
I don’t use my first name because it’s Korean, and I get tired of people having trouble remembering it/pronouncing it wrong. But it’s always a pain in the ass in certain situations because my first name is what’s used on formal documents and such. I should get a legal name change, but I’m not a citizen yet, so I can’t.
Yeah with tradition I can understand, that’s probably why my father has the first name he doesn’t use. It’s been in the family a long time as far as I know. But me? Nope. I’m the first in my family to bear my first name. I wish I had the idea to get rid of it earlier, so I wouldn’t have grown more accustomed to it when I went out on my own. When I was a kid I was responsible for very little, so it was always Middlename Lastname. But now i’ve got various responsibilities that have made the use of my full name annoying.
I’ve tried the Firstinitial, Middlename, Lastname thing, and I guess it’s okay. I’m not entirely happy with it though.
I go by my middle name. I cannot fricken believe how fricken hard it is for some people to grasp the idea. My first name is Michael. My dads name is michael, my step dads name is michael and I have an uncle named michael. So I have always used my middle name. It drives me nuts. Even though my first middle and last name is on my ID people still say but it says your name is Michael. I point to the middle name which is right there in plain sight but they still get this confused look and say “But it says your name is michael”. Aaaaggghhhh.
Could you just make it your first inital, middlename, lastname? That’s what my mom does. Very few people who knew her after high school know her real first name. On official documents, she’s K. MiddleName MarriedName. Well, it’s really more K. NicknameOfMiddleName MarriedName.
Then it’s not like you’re not completely dropping your first name.
ETA, I didn’t read the whole thread and didn’t note that you’ve though of this and weren’t happy with that solution, either.
Both of my siblings (one older than I, one younger) have always gone by their middle names because our parents always called them that way. There is no established tradition of this, and they aren’t handed-down family names.
I remember my mother trying to call me by my initials, but that never caught on, thank God. So I’m the only sibling known by her first name. This is good for me, as my middle name isn’t even a word, much less a name you would ever dream of. Mom must have been smoking something.
My middle-name-going-by siblings have never mentioned it being a problem for them, and my brother was in the army for years.
I’m a Middlename too… So’s my dad, you’d think he’d have put up a fight for me or something. My Realname is one which is most commonly used as a middle name, and since it’s monosyllabic I guess it sounds more euphonious as a middle name than as a first name. At any rate, I REALLY hate the first name they saddled me with–it was to cringe at the beginning of every school year.
So, when I turned 18 and got my driver’s license I just didn’t put the official Firstname-I-Hate down on the form, just dropped it entirely and put in the name I’ve always used as the first name, no middle initial, last name. It’s been perfectly okay for thirty plus years.
I’m Elizabeth Jane in real life, and my parents always called me Jane. It gets confusing sometimes, because in official documents I am Elizabeth J. Lastname, but the person making the appointment or whatever is Jane Lastname.
They’re both deceased now, so I can’t call them up and ask them, but I think the idea was that a wee five-pound baby just didn’t fit being called “Elizabeth”. (Then, why not Beth? Liza? Lisa? Betty? Eliza? Liza Jane? We will never know now…)
My husband also was called by one of his names. Let me try and recall… I married Raymond Leo Joseph Ernest Marc Lastname.
He goes by Marc, as that’s what they called him growing up.
My dad’s dad’s dad was Stephen Middle. My dad’s dad is Stephen Middle and he hated living w/ the same name. He named his son (my dad) Stephen Middle2. My dad hated it, always being confused w/ his father. So he named me Stephen Michael and now I’m Mike. Let me be the umpteenth to testify, that’s a terrible solution!!
THE argument- “Why do you use Mike?” “Cuz that’s my name. Why do you use John?” “But my parents named me John.” “My parents named me Mike.” “No they didn’t, they named you Stephen.” GRRRRR. How hard is it to understand?! I’m MIKE!! Stephen is an idle name I don’t use, just like your second name. No, I didn’t choose it any more than you did!
Mail- I get my father’s mail all the time. Funny thing is, it’s usually a bill for my mother, with dad’s name on it from when they were married. It’s been like 6 years! Change the name, mom! There’s no way out of this. If I change the bill names, my credit report gets screwy. If I use a middle initial, it won’t stop my dad’s mail from coming.
School- [roll call] “Stephen…” “Here. Call me Mike.” “Smart ass, eh?” I can’t tell you how many fights I’ve had w/ teachers over this.
Name some famous people w/ this syndrome. H. Ross Perot. J. Edgar Hoover. Any others?
This is me, too. (Middle name is “Lawrence,” have never been called by my first name.)
What I hate is the occasional paranoid types who assume that I must be hiding something because I don’t use my “right” name. I had one landlord who agreed to rent to me but then got completely squirrelly when it became clear that I went by my middle name - taking care to put quotes around “Larry” on rent receipts, etc., and making insinuations that I was planning to turn his house (completely unsuitable for the purpose) into a grow-op.
Sometimes I think I should have wallet-sized prints of photos from my first few birthdays printed up, with cakes & banners and such clearly marked “Larry.” “My god, not even out of diapers and already using an alias! Watch out for that one!”
Here’s another one. It’s weird, both my parents went by Firstname M. Lastname, so why did they think I might like doing it differently?
My parents also did not agree on now to spell my nickname. My mother spelled it Susie and my father spelled it Suzy–since the name is actually Suzanne, my father’s way made more sense to me.
Then I had to learn how to spell my first name in kindergarden and have people think I was weird because I didn’t already know how to spell my name. When I actually knew quite well how to spell the name I was called by, in two different variations.
About junior high I finally gave up to being called one thing in class and another by my friends, and tried to adapt to being called by my first name, but it was too late. The result of this, though, is that although everybody that matters to me thinks my name is one thing, people from that era who did not know me well think it’s something else.
My actual first name appears on my birth certificate and my driver’s license. With the advent of stupid homeland security I am now getting flak for all the things that don’t have it. That would be–everything else. So I may end up having to change it legally, although after all these years I don’t particularly want to. (Stupid fucking homeland security the terrorists have won.)