How’s life?
Life? Don’t talk to me about life!
And for British Dpoers, aged about 35 upwards…
“What do you think of it so far ?”
or there’s :
“oompah, oompah …”
Hmm…that’s funny => Funny strange or funny ha ha?
Bingo.
Another one that drives me nuts:
If somebody says “Imagine…”, my head will instantly add “…all the people…”
Were having steak for dinner would you like peas or corn with it?.. yes!
There is a whole long chain of these. The one I heard most recently was:
Center for Disease Control?
You bet I did!
One of these days—> I’m going to cut you into little pieces. (Pink Floyd)
Seconding “Niagra Falls”; btw, which Stooges film is that from? I’m sure it’s been well over 30 years since I’ve seen it, but it’s still stuck in my head! Slowly I turned…heh
This is an obscure Cheers reference…
Cheers was in reruns during my formative years and came on almost every day. I rarely watched, but in one episode a friend of Ted Danson’s character comes to visit. This poor guy’s life has gone to shreds and every time someone tries to comfort him with the phrase “I know how you feel,” he would scream at them, “NOBODY KNOWS HOW I FEEL!” It was a good running gag, and eventually other characters would scream it for him.
Now whenever I hear someone say “I know how you feel,” I want to holler at the top of my voice, “NOBODY KNOWS HOW I FEEL!”
Alas, absolutely no one would get it, so I never say it.
Dave?
This one has been with me ever since I read Dune, way, way back in high school:
Kwisatz Haderach – give the dog a bone!
I though Lou Costello ran into the guy in a jail cell.
“I see.” -> “Said the blind man to the deaf boy” occasionally “walking the dead dog.”
From Firesign Theatre via my Dad.
“Leave me alone!” → … “Sure how much do you want? 50? 100?” I know I’ve flubbed it though.
and finally
“I’m hungry!” -> You know what it is.
When I hear people talk about owing money, I think:
“I want my two dollars!!”
Dave’s not here, man.
I do the “sew buttons” thing, too. Damn my mother. She’s also the one that has me singing that silly Animal Fair song whenever someone mentions raccoons.
Valhalla --> I am co-o-o-oming. (The Immigrant Song; Led Zepplin)
“It’s one o’clock” --> …and time for lunch. Bum de dum de dum.
“What the ” --> WHAT THE PISS, NUT?! (A newer one. Those of you who know what this is will understand why it immediately comes to mind every time.)
“Could you please explain…” --> …the hurting
“In the woods” --> I am in the woods! (10,000 bonus points to anyone who understands this)
viaduct…
Best trigger, ever!
I have a few, though I can never think of them consciously. I’ve come out with this one from time to time:
“I see…” - “said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw”
One my friend and I can never let go is a bit stranger.
Over here in Australia they have a pudding-snack called “Yogo”. It was advertised by a claymation gorilla called Yo-Gorilla. One ad had him in a James Bond-esque skit, where he jumps into a red sports car and zooms off down the road, splashing some poor construction worker and his lunch with mud. The poor construction worker replies with a rather half-hearted “Ah, my lunch!”.
Thus, any cry of surprise or pain or fear is usually followed with a chorus of “Ah, my lunch!”
When asked how I like my coffee:
“Black, like my men”.
Well, I don’t always say it, but the line is always there and I have to do a quick survey of who I’m talking to to see if it’s appropriate, or if the reference would be caught.
I know I have more of these but the one that leapt to mind is also from Rocky Horror.
I’m cold => I’m wet and I’m just plain scared
I’ve gotten some strange looks.
It’s possible… Pig.
Hahaha. My aunt and I are both big fans of that movie. One time we were getting a pizza and the total was $16.05. She had a twenty and asked if I had a nickel. I told her I had a dime and she replied in a gruff voice “I didn’t ask for a dime.”