I’ve always enjoyed me some porno. And over the 10 years or so that I’ve had the internet I’ve managed to build quite the collection on my PC. I’m a big foot fetish guy so regular run of the mill porn doesn’t do it for me. Like Playboys and that type of stuff is boring to me. So when I find a picture or video that really pushes my button I save it on my computer just because my particular brand of foot porn is not the most mainstream (to say the least). Nothing nasty, just different.
Anyway, the other night I downloaded what I thought was a foot fetish video from a filesharing service and it turned out to be kiddie porn. This was my first exposure to this and it was very un nerving to say the least because I have a 6 year old girl of my own (single dad).
So ever since that incident I have found that looking at ALL porn makes me feel skeevy and uneasy. I’ve given it a week or so to think it over and I still can’t shake that crappy feeling.
With that said, I’m on the verge of deleting about 4GB of porno from my PC. (I know that sounds like a ton but its videos AND pictures and it’s 10 years worth). I really want to be absolutely sure that I want to do this and I’m not making a hasty decision because alot of it would be impossible to replace IMHO.
So have any of you ever just said “enough is enough” with regards to porno and just gave it all up? Anyone ever had a similar experience as mine?
Something like that happened to me, once. Just cruising around porn sites, clicked on a link, and I’m thinking, “Huh. She’s kinda cute, but really flat chested, and… uh… oh, FUCK!” Put me off the porn for a while, too, but I eventually got over it.
That said, you might want to save everything on your hard disk, porn or otherwise, and reformat the drive, just to make sure there’s no trace of the offending file anywhere on it. Can’t be too safe about that stuff, 'specially if you’re a parent.
You might get over it or change your porn tastes. I’ve seen some disturbing stuff at odd times that put me off completely for a little while, but I kind of recovered. I find porn easier to take when it’s written or drawn; photos and film can be too much. When I’ve seen something that really bothered me, it was in photographs from unnamed sources on sites which presented the stuff as if it was non-consensual. It probably was made quite legitimately, but the seed of doubt is like a bucket of iced water on my bits.
I did for about three months when I was seen renting a DVD* at an ABS by three female co-workers, there to pick up stuff for a bachelorette party. The embarassment of that, plus pending nuptials (I figured, hey - who needs porn, I’m getting married and will get laid all the time!) allowed me to give it up.
Two months after the wedding I realized married people don’t hit it on an hourly or daily basis (or for that freaking matter, weekly :mad: ) and I had just installed a cable modem, which may as well be re-named The Porn Enabler. And thus endeth the porn embargo.
*If you’re wondering, it was a Ginger Lynn ‘Greatest Hits’ anthology. Yowza.