I haven’t lived with them for years now. They forced me to make the decision to leave the house at 17 with no car or help from them or break up with my first boyfriend that I loved very much, because they thought he was an agent. So, it’s been very rough. I think they are really sick mentally, they have disconnected from their own son for being an “agent” and their own daughter for not believing they were never really Scientologists as they say. My mom has also caused my dad to not have a good relationship with his own daughters and have accused one of my dad’s daughter’s (K) husband of being an agent as well because he didn’t agree with them on things as well.
The real issue is that I became pregnant, and my mom got her dad/my grandpa to help me out. He’s been helping me out financially and helping me in school. I don’t want her to bad mouth me to my own grandpa and cause him to disconnect from me while I’m trying to better my life if I tell her how I really feel about her being a “spy” supposedly.
Another instance I remember before I got “kicked out” was this. My first boyfriend lived as a roommate with a gay guy who had AIDS. My Dad was so convinced that H.I.V could be spread through breathing/air contact. I remember that was the first argument I ever really had with him where he yelled at me so loud like he’s never done before that I just broke down in tears. My mom believed my Dad that I was going to get AIDS because I went to the house of someone who had it, so much that she wouldn’t even share a spoon with me anymore. I remember my mom calling me a slut for losing my virginity to a guy I loved at 17, and then saying I picked a horrible person to do that with, even though she lost hers at 13.
I assume you’re still pretty young; This is a lot to carry on your shoulders at such a young age and for as long as you have. I think you’re remarkably resillient despite what you’ve already been through and I encourage you to continue to work through this and be well. Don’t let the insane bastards drag you down.
That’s a hell of a story. I sat here with my mouth hanging open (literally) while reading it. I’m not familiar with the terms used, though. Perhaps you could clarify:
Case
Win
Tech
Auditing
TRs
Pulling withholds
Overts
Thetan
Marcabian
Thanks.
One thing I recall about my friend who became “lost” to me through Scientology was her increasing usage of insider words and phrases. I wonder if that is, in part, a cultish strategy to remove Scientologists further away from non-Scientologists.
Many Scientology translation sites out there. Some of the Scientology beliefs are so deeply weird as to be risible. L. Ron Hubbard started out as a sci-fi writer, then transitioned to Scientology to make more money.
It astonishes me that so many people still, to this day, get sucked into it.
I think the OP would perhaps benefit from counseling with someone experienced with cult deprogramming. I agree that she comes across as very resilient, but a lifetime of that shit must surely be tough to overcome.
I was never “in” Scientology, but I went willingly, innocently, to a meeting when invited by an “intellectual” friend who touted it as the best philosophy/religion to come along since cheese curds.
I had never heard of Scientology, so I had no preconceived notions. I refused to contribute any money, but looked through the free material offered and listened to the lecture. The more I looked and listened, the more batshit crazy and devoid of reality the group seemed, even crazier than Mormons. To paraphrase Robin Williams, “two tacos short of a combination plate.” I never went back.
That was 1967. It was only decades later that I found out how accurate my first impressions had been. Sometimes you just gotta go with your gut.
I’m 30 now. Have a 2 1/2 year old son, and am trying to get my nursing degree through my local community college. I just talked to my Grandpa, and he seems like he still is wanting to help me out/be around me. I just wish I could come fully clean with my parents/everyone. Maybe I’ll go sign up for welfare/other assistance programs that will help me stay on track in school. Just so that I can finally be true to myself with my parents. It’s funny how nothing anyone says gets through to them.
Despite all of the kids, except me yet, saying that they don’t believe them saying they were never really Scientologists. They even went to an ex scientologist message board where my brother posted at and told people they used to harass as being agents, and how they were telepathically speaking to L.R.H, they tried to get them to believe they were never Scientologists too. When they obviously disagreed, well then that obviously makes them agents/OSA/Enslavers, etc. It’s just…gosh, so much. It feels so good to finally write out how I really feel about it all though.
I would have gone to that ex scientology messageboard to do it, or another one, but I can’t trust that my parents wouldn’t end up finding it and reading it. Then using whatever manipulation they can hold over me to get me to succumb to their will again. I remember after I moved out, I wanted to become a cop and my mom was getting nasty with me again over something I very nicely disagreed with her on, and when I said I’m going to leave, she said no, you aren’t. Then both she and my dad physically blocked me from leaving their house, it was so disgusting. Just her smug look, and then I tried to force my way through them and my mom pushed me back. She wasn’t going to let me leave until I agreed with her. So, I sat there and grit my teeth and agreed with her. After I left, I seriously considered just disconnecting from her completely after that.
She’s just completely psychotic. She’s completely lost all semblance of sanity and reality.
O.k, I’m going to try to remember because I don’t feel like googling it, after all it’s been years since I’ve had to be subjected to Scientology.
Case is like, a person’s baggage. Mental baggage. It’s basically body thetans (thetans are spirits) who are all melded together into your thetan’s body. You being the main thetan who isn’t as fucked up as the other thetans who are hanging around attaching themselves to other people’s bodies trying to corrupt them to be bad. It also consists of engrams (past traumatic events, either in this lifetime or a past life, that continue to cause emotional and/or physical trauma without you being aware of what is causing it because the past event is so horrible you have completely blocked it from memory).
So that described case, thetan, engram, BTs (body thetans).
Now a win, is something that happens when you are in session. You know that e meter that scientologists use to kinda read someone’s mind? Basically, when an auditor (the person behind the e meter asking the questions, not the pc aka preclear, who is holding the cans) finds an engram that needs to be run out he’ll keep asking a certain phrase or have the person go over the traumatic incident in their mind over and over again until finally they just wake up from a daze and feel instantly better. This results in a “win” against an engram, or floating needle as you will. Floating needle means there is no longer a negative charge of energy associated with the memory that was picked up from the e meter machine.
Tech just means L.R.Hs technology in Scientology. Like auditing, etc. So when someone is in session they are essentially getting “audited” of engrams, etc. They also audit out overts, withholds, etc.
An overt is something someone did to someone that they felt bad about. Like say you steal a lolipop from a friend and they cry about it, etc. A withhold, is different from an overt, because it involves a covert I think? Can’t remember, basically where you do something bad behind someone’s back, or that people don’t know about, that YOU feel guilty and bad about doing it. So, those will get pulled too in a session. Now, once you move high enough along the bridge you are able to self audit yourself. But at first you need an auditor present to help you because you’re just too fucked up to do it yourself yet is the idea behind it.
TRs are the basics of Scientology, the staring into people’s eyes while sitting motionless in a chair for hours on end. Yes, hours on end. They made us do that. Bull baiting, where someone sits in front of you and says whatever they think they can to make you laugh, cry, get mad, upset, just trying to taunt you to make any kind of reaction whatsoever. So, basic brainwashing technique there. It’s why Scientologists are so hard to decondition because they are taught to have a flat affect from the start to what is termed “bull baiting” by “wogs”. Wogs are non scientologists.
Pulling withholds is basically getting someone to admit something that they did to you that they did behind your back that they thought was wrong, which causes them to be nasty or not nice to you. In essence, scientologists think the reason people don’t like their religion, or someone doesn’t like them as a person, is because we have crimes or missed withholds/overts/coverts against them/other people/their religion and that’s why we are attacking/don’t like them or the religion.
And a marcabian is an extra terrestrial global enslaver, different from Xenu. They are from a planet in our very own galaxy, or Andromeda’s galaxy, not sure. But yeah, crazy shit.
Yeah, I would really like that actually. I’m not into Scientology at all anymore, but my parents have made me have so many doubts and trust issues with people around me because I chose to keep them in my life despite everything they did to me as a teenager.
I’m glad you didn’t get suckered into it. I honestly can’t wait until it’s completely gone away with. It’s a horrible religion that is anti family and anti life. They could give two shits about killing someone, or someone dying, because it’s just another “body” after all. Scientologists think that bodies are what entraps us thetans inside of them. That we are in prison here because of crimes from some other galaxy. And that if our body dies, we just go into another one after that.
My mom recently said to me in a recording that she doesn’t give a shit if someone is their child, their father, etc. If she doesn’t like them, then she doesn’t care who they are to her. Which is a very Scientologist view point for someone who supposedly was never one to begin with. She still has a lot of view points from Scientology. Same with my Dad. But, crazy people tend to stick together I guess, especially if they are both stroking the others ego.
This Venn Diagram of Irrational Nonsense is perhaps relevant to this thread.
(BTW: Scroll down the page to see it in multiple languages!)
Incognito, were your parents employed? I would imagine that maintaining a steady job would be difficult with their personalities.
I have read that one reason “Dianetics” has remained a best-seller all these years is because Scientologists buy them up, and then send them back to the publisher, who in turn sends them out to bookstores, etc. Is that true?
I have never to my knowledge met a Scientologist, and wasn’t sure they existed outside Hollywood until I was in St. Louis and drove by a Scientologist church. :eek: It was in a rather upscale neighborhood, too.
They were, but when they attacked the church, my Dad’s employer who was a Scientologist fired him because the church has a disconnection policy when it comes to “SPs” aka Suppressive people, aka the worst kind of people according to Scientology. Here’s the actual def. Suppressive Person, often abbreviated SP, is a term used in Scientology to describe the “antisocial personalities” who, according to Scientology’s founder L. Ron Hubbard, make up about 2.5% of the population.
After that, they haven’t had a single job between them and have relied on my Grandpa/My mom’s Dad to pay their bills which come up to about 5 to 6 grand a month. My mom suckered him into buying her 10 acres of land and a 5 bedroom house with a huge guest house as well. This was before the whole going against the church thing happened, when everything was still kinda sorta normal. And somehow, they manage to spend 200 dollars a week or more on just food for two fucking people. Her excuse being it’s not that cheap for food in Washington…they don’t live in Seattle btw, they live in a small town, and I lived there, they’re full of shiiiiiii if they are trying to say that LOL. I’ve lived in Los Angeles, Boca Raton, and Las Vegas, and I’ve never spent more than 300 a month on food for three people.
The mortgage on the house is like 2500 a month and then he has life insurance for my mom that equates to about 600 a month. So that’s literally 3,000 a month just for living somewhere. Mind you, the guy has been buying her houses and building them for her since I could remember, and helping her with bills, as a good parent should. But, she never thought to pursue a career herself after all of us were grown enough to take care of ourselves. She acts like a queen and can’t go out of her way for anyone. She won’t even help her own children if they were homeless without “stipulations” behind it, meanwhile she’s doing nothing whatsoever to contribute financially for herself. When I got pregnant the first time at 21, she couldn’t even be bothered then to help out her daughter by offering to watch her first grandchild while I worked so that I could have the kid. She doesn’t even have a job, but she didn’t want to feel like a daycare, as per her words. There’s just so much that I’m remembering now that I’m not suppressing it and tbh it’s getting me really pissed how selfish she is. I ended up getting an abortion because I had zero family help (didn’t think to ask my Grandpa) and no support anywhere financially. I had a 1,000 dollar a month mortgage, no car, and was an exotic dancer. Go figure I ended up in that profession considering the age I was forced to live on my own. All I have to say is thank god he’s a doctor…otherwise they’d be screwed.
LOL I laughed at that…wow, so true.