All right. I’ve paid for every single course there is. After all is said and done, what are the ultimate deep, dark truths about Scientology?

The only deep, dark truth I can think of is that you just got swindled out of a ton of money.

My understanding is that as long as you have more money there will always be more courses.

Well that’s about right Papabear, recently they came out with a new course called “Super Power™”. This is the next step above OT (the higher levels of $cientology are called “OT” levels - OT I, OT II, etc). Each OT level is more bizarre than the last. I assume that “Super Power™” is reserved for the Travoltas and Cruises etc. who have the dough to blow.

I could go on for awhile about this evil organization, but instead I will refer you to a web site. This web site has many hours of reading in store for you, more coherently than I could explain. There’s no one section I would recommend reading first, go with your instinct and pick the link that interests you most.
Thankfully my man Andreas (its proprietor) lives in the enlightened nation of Norway, where the legal tentacles of $cientology cannot touch him (but don’t think they haven’t tried to sue him, and worse).

If you go read the information at the web site mentioned by RTA, it would scare you from even posting anything on this subject! The lengths to which the church will go to silence critics is truly frightening.

My girlfriend filled out one of their personality tests once, and when she went back to find out the results, she was almost scooped up into their trap. (She was an impressionable teenager at the time.)

Good thing her parents were on the ball and accompanied her on her return visit. They had to threaten legal action to get the church to return the money she had already paid.

What’s scary is that this church is spreading worldwide! They’re all over Western Europe now.

For something that’s trying to pass itself off as a religion and not some money mongering cult, they sure do trademark a lot of things.
Hmmm… Jesus™, Moses™, Buddha™, etc.

“[He] beat his fist down upon the table and hurt his hand and became so
further enraged… that he beat his fist down upon the table even harder and
hurt his hand some more.” – Joseph Heller’s Catch-22

Is it true that L. Ron Huckster …err… Hubbard started Scientology on a bet that he couldn’t found a successful religion?

“I had a feeling that in Hell there would be mushrooms.” -The Secret of Monkey Island

I don’t know that it was a bet, exactly; I just heard that, back in the '50’s, he’s supposed to have commented to some of his SF writer friends that, if you want to get rich quick, start your own religion. And then he went out and did just that.

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

Ever see the “sporgeries” on alt.religion.scientology? Scientologists somehow replace posts that are critical of them with nonsense. Sporgery=Spam+forgery.

Here’s some example text:

If I had ever doubted that scientology was bullshit before, this practice of erasing criticisms instead of addressing them would have cinched it.

Scientology (dianetics is how we address it in my country) is a very stupid and dangerous ideology!!! Too much brainwashing and coertion.
I met this guy who was against suntanning! He claimed that if you did, and a nuclear bomb was detonated within a certain distance, you would somehow attract “the energy” of the explosion, and explode yourself! He was a real “pale-face”!

And regarding the purported bet that L. Ron had, I read something about that in one of Asimov’s books, but I can’t find it! Help me, please?

Men will cease to commit atrocities only when they cease to believe absurdities.

Sorry it took so long to get back with you, but yopu can blame RTA. I spent a looooong time at, and learned a lot. The Scientology Illustrated section was a real hoot!
I used to take the Scientology test (under an assumed name of course!), and answer every question as if I was a completely self-obsorbed asshole without a fault in the world. Invariably, they would ask if I had taken lessons in another town!

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
Hunter Thompson

Sorry it took so long to get back with you, but yopu can blame RTA. I spent a looooong time at, and learned a lot. The Scientology Illustrated section was a real hoot!
I used to take the Scientology test (under an assumed name of course!), and answer every question as if I was a completely self-obsorbed asshole without a fault in the world. Invariably, they would ask if I had taken lessons in another town!

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
Hunter Thompson

don’t know any thing deep and dark, but I am sure on two things…
Having done some reading on scientology myself, I am sure that the level of paranioa Mr. L. Ron puts into it is very frightening. I also know that it has been BANNED in germany. They believe that is a cult and that the only thing that they worship is the real estate market.

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.”----George Carlin

Well, you know what they say about perfect paranoia, it’s perfect awareness.

WE are all pilgrims on the same journey - but some pilgrims have better road maps.

Y’know, I’ve read that Alec Guiness, Liam Neeson and Sophia Loren are devout Catholics but you don’t see these people bringing their beleifs to the lime light on national talk shows. You never hear about so and so being a devout jew or whatever. Sure, we hear about Richard Gere being Buddist only because he campaigns to help Tibet.

If they (Oprah and the ilk) are going to have Travolta on to espouse his beliefs, then I want to see two other famous people (non-scientologist) Richard Gere as an example and someone else, to give equal time. Or better yet, put them all on Politically Incorrect for an hour special.

I’ve always wanted to start my own religion. It’s a wonderful way to make money and meet new friends.

WE are all pilgrims on the same journey - but some pilgrims have better road maps.

In William Poundstone’s book Bigger Secrets he gives a complete rundown of the big “secret” of scientology. The information comes from the trial transcripts of a case where a former scientologist finally made it to the final level and couldn’t believe what he found out.

Poundstone gives a very thorough description, but the gist is that all bad motivations in people come from the spirits of dead aliens that where imprisoned on earth. Personally, I feel that anyone who stays long enough with (and spends enough on) scientology to find this out deserve the what they get. The only cure for gullibility is getting screwed.

“The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.” -George Carlin

Stonily he pulverized on a ruse. How do we shy before me explicitly?

At every jump save every archaeology the evangelical teakwood cupped the homogenate pending every originality, and astride another relegated no lidless siege deluge - a further, no feare, which they had parched concerning every population through no northwest till a buck. How do we greet versus him forward? Have we floundered him? We have every back another vernier but swimsuit have whitewashed me over their rut. They panicked although until I had every shipbuilding you could discharge your crystal, though we softened her to open it. Decorativeness managers clotted over their neuronal jigger, plus an inclusive, guidebook reiterated boards seeped statewide considering no consensus diva, devoting along alive pinholes over every petals under the uncontrolled bellboys. Through no affliction on a booklet an unnamed gaucherie fingered every spume according a cousin, or before another framed a tame anomaly threshhold - the several, no lawn, whatever we had sucked amongst no coloration with no inventory around no audit. Her amulet styled inter them like I bumped you. Ha ha, no one will read this far because this post looks like a sporgery. OK, all you Pre-OTs- we have a major Suppressive Persons problem on this list and it’s time for a Dead Agent campaign. We have to Put a Head on a Pike. The first thing to do is to have the OSA contact the law offices and have them arrange a list of subpoenas to the Chicago Reader. We have to know the names and addresses of every wog and suppressive on this bulletin board who has been disseminating misinformation about and violating copyrights of the Church. In the meantime we’ll also have to attack the server and make sure this whole board goes down with a forged article flood. While we’re waiting for the subpoenas to go through, some EOs are going to have to go to bookstores and collect all the magazine subscription cards from all the magazines on the rack, and fill them all out “Cecil Adams- care of Chicago Reader”. Have the kids put together posters in class saying “Warning: Child Molester!” and make sure they leave space for each SP’s name and photograph. Those are going to have to be put up in the neighborhood of every SP. Once we have their names and addresses, proceed with Fair Game attacks. Start rumors that they are abusing their family and murdering their pets. Find out their criminal histories and publicize on the Internet and in their local newspapers every arrest record, every domestic squabble, and every indiscretion that they have ever been involved in. Start investigating them promptly for felonies or worse, using our own professionals or outside agencies. Ensure press coverage saying we welcome an investigation of these people. Start manufacturing actual evidence of lurid, bloody sex crimes committed by SPs, and present these materials to the press and to the authorities as part of an organized smear campaign run in concert with a torrent of copyright infringement lawsuits. Get a judge to sign a writ of seizure on the basis of Scientology Copyright infringement so that we have cooperation with the authorities when we raid their houses and examine their personal papers and correspondence, financial records, and delete all files on their computer as specified for injunctive relief of copyright infringement of the writings of L Ron Hubbard. Call their phone companies claiming to be them and obtain all the information from their phone bills that you can. Picket their homes, and their places of employment with the most lurid accusations possible of the most vile crimes. Befriend them under false pretenses and urge them toward suicide. Have them and their families followed and placed under strict surveillance. Make attempts to involve them in automobile accidents. Spy in their windows. Create disturbances and upset their neighbors. Call in numerous and repeated allegations about them to anonymous tip hotlines run by the IRS and various state and federal law enforcement agencies. Remember to forcefully kidnap and brainwash witnesses, destroy evidence which might be useful to Suppressive Persons, present false information to grand juries, and prepare a good cover-up story. All critics of Scientology are by definition criminals; they must be brought to utter ruin. Another nebula - four according a same - and they have their reparation hum oceanography, and until traditionally rehearse my astronomer as onwards that consummately a tasteless statue pillaged its hiring mystery. Next another or solely that, prohibiting louder nor farther.

Far, Heard, which do you spy pursuant him? Rebuilding crashes attacked notwithstanding our inexperienced kiloton, and a psychological, archaeology relegated movements typed peculiarly from no ethanol torrid, exaggerating inter subnormal badmen aboard the powers from every diagonal touches. You have a fielder that crown but mazurka have dulled us down his rider. Blithely, Sunny, which do they bump post me? Overwhelmingly it gained outta a freshman. We enjoined neither read so they were plus simmered, or a salami times me hurled rapidly naughtier. I have every dressing another philosopher nor aleck have lessened it on her forcefulness. Actually the first time I found one of these sporgeries was by accident. You can run across lots of them on Dejanews (which has really taken a dive recently). Just do a search- type in two words, as unrelated as you can think of off the top of your head. I found this one by typing in “travesty” and “calendar” into the search field. These things are flooded onto alt.religion.scientology literally by the millions. They are cancelled by cancelbots but the few percent that are missed still manage to completely swamp the newsgroup! The distributed costs of these attacks to upstream networks and the Internet at large are immense. It seems individual Scientologists are instructed to sign up for throwaway accounts under false names, and given software by the “church” that spews this crap out thousands of posts at a time. And they are posted under the names of Scientology critics. But say what you want about the meaningless content of these sporgeries- if I had a choice between reading sporgeries or Dianetics during a trip to the bathroom, I think I’d pick the sporgeries every time. My fifth wagon was to travesty Protestant McCracken all his coattails. Another accompaniment - six beside a last - though you have our calendar bow sportsman, or unless also gamble its retriever before exhaustively unless steadfastly no superhuman world progressed your judging challenge.

Lipochrome - What the motorboat obfuscation initiated fulcrum are you talking about?

How did you do that? Is there software that does that to text or are you just a very talented and satirical poet?..Or are the Hubbardites on to us?

heh, good one Lipochrome. (Now THAT’s comedy!) Yes, that’s their modus operandi all right.
In all fairness, I talk smack about the $360,000 alien-genocide cult a lot, and have never received a spot of harassment from them. Of course, I’m not very active in the anti-$ci movement, I just tell people about how $ciTech sucks and is stupid and bad for people.
As for the oddly beguiling acid-poetry that is “sporgery” interfering with a legit newsgroup, is a Reader’s Digest version of alt.religion.scientology, with all that sporgery crap conspicuously absent.


Pathunt this is the kind of vociferous blanket statement I myself make all the time, but I really must take issue with the sentiment in this case.
By the time most people are “in” long enough to find out about Xenu™ (the galactic warlord) and his massacre of the Thetans™ by hydrogen bombs 75 million years ago, their individuality has been so beaten down by the indoctrination that they cannot make a conscious break from the womb of the cult. It is the rare cultie that “comes in from the cold”. It’s not like paying good money to see a movie you know is going to be bad, and you ending up hating it. It’s being brainwashed plain and simple, using repetition, isolation, ritual, warmth of group approval/fear of group rejection, reward/punishment, etc … a heavy case of the Stockholm Syndrome (in a way). (And try to imagine the deep shame of finding out you’ve just blown a few years of your life being had - assuming you make that deduction, rather than eating it up with a spoon.)
Children of adult $cienos become unwitting victims also, raised in the cult and home-schooled using cult “tech”, most end up years behind their age group in basic scholastic skills. $cientology is not sentimental about children; this is true on several different levels. And the cost to family structure is dire, since the cult regularly “encourages” (read: orders) complete breaks from relatives who disapprove of $cientology.
People trapped on the “bridge”, the vast majority have had all other options hammered out of them by the “tech”. They know no other.
They deserve pity, even though most would spit in your face and try to have you arrested if you tried to explain the whole thing to them.

“Then you learn the lesson,
That it’s tough to be so cool …”

RTA, I understand your viewpoint, and I too pity those involved. I guess I just tend to take a more of a “tough love” stance. As a reformed fundamentalist Christian, I know it is possible to get past the brainwashing. (And you know that statement is going to bring on the flamers.) As a society, we need to instruct our children in skeptical thinking, and let them make their own choices.

“The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.” -George Carlin