Anyone know anything about demonic possession?

I would say a friend told me to ask this, but I doubt any of you would believe me.

Hypothetically speaking, of course, if I wanted to be possessed by a demon or a host of them, how would I go about doing so? How easy/difficult would it be to get rid of them when I get tired of all the fun? Do they have any cool powers, and could I harness them for personal gain? Of course, as I mentioned, this is all strictly hypothetical.

Really it is.

I promise.

As with dowsing, crop circles, the Loch Ness monster and Planet X, there is no evidence that demons exist.

Folk tales consistently suggest that hubris such as yours always leads to disaster.

I googled ‘demonic posession’ and a picture of one of my old bosses showed up.

Strangely, I am not surprised.

Ah, but I have a theory that the possessor would protect the possessee if he/she/it got a cut of the spoils.

You mean like Cheney?

I don’t know how to go about inviting demonic self-possession, but if you want to go cross-species, I could try evicting some of the passel inhabiting my cats and send them your way.

Do you suppose that would work? I’m (hypothetically, of course) open to new ideas.

According to a (I think) Discovery Channel program I saw a while back, some cases of demonic possession are believe to have been caused by ergot poisoning, which has effects similar to the ingestion of LSD. Ergot is a fungus which grows only on rye. So, leave some rye bread out and eat a lot of it.

Even better – have a cats’ brains on rye sandwich. That should do it.

mmmmmm … brains! :smiley:

There’s an interesting book out called The Bride of Satan that may be of interest to your friend.

And did you ever see Lord of the Rings?

Actually, marrying Satan is very low on the priority list. But I am curious about Lord of the Rings. Is this a how-to video/infomercial or some such thing?

Well, give me a call sometime - I will see what I can arrange.

Well first step is to get a demon in your house. Ouija boars work well for this. But also cast some spells to your advantage this puts you in ‘debt’ to a demon and they feel they have the right to your body.

After the demon begins harassing you it’s goal is to drive you insane. It can’t take control of your body until you lose control in some way. (that’s why they typically attack females and children they usually stay home for longer periods so it’s easier to hit them over and over…one wonders how women’s lib has made their job harder) after it breaks you down it moves in. It has two goals to spread as much pain as possible to your family and friends then follows up by trying to make sure you die (it won’t have you kill yourself it relishes every min out of hell so it prefers if you starve to death instead of just blowing your own brains out) if you die while it’s still in control of your body then you go straight to hell to serve the demon…so no they have no real reason to cooperate with you their goal is to torment you destroy your soul and hurt everyone they can.

Sounds like a party eh?

well instead of the ouija boars you can try the more common boards.

Read “The Mill On The Floss.” I guarantee you’ll be suicidal, homicidal, frothing at the mouth, and screaming gibberish by the 100th page. Make sure you’ve got a priest nearby.


DreadCthulhu, what are your qualifications? Would you perform the … uhh … possession? Or would you instruct me … err … my friend in how to do it? How about the exorcism?

Does the cats’ brain on rye sandwich sound like it would work, or would that just bring about insanity rather than a full-fledged possession? Are these other folks simply amateurs eager to see another person’s misfortune in trying to extract, consume, and digest the brains of kittys?

And, Darkhold, actually the Ouija Boar sounds like even more fun than the board, or even a demon. Are these common in the wilderness of the Appalachian mountains?

I think ouija boars would work a lot better than a mere board. Heck, they’d make my cats look angelic, with or without brains.

Unfortunately I do not know the exact way to locate a Ouija boar. But if you know where Caer Dallben I hear they have an oracular pig you can pick up.

So peritrochoid should pick up a prognosticating pig to pursue his Pyrrhic possession? How paltry and pusillanimous a ploy!