Anyone Seen Chronicles of Riddick? Caution: Spoilers

So anyone seen this movie?
I’ve seen bad reviews so far, but was wondering what the Teeming Millions thought of it.
I honestly don’t care if you spoil it for me. So far, all the reviews I’ve read have essentially said, “What plot!?!”
Is it a decent sci-fi action flick? Worse than “X movie” or what?


Cool looking special effects. The rest of it…bleah…

Basically, picture what would happen if you gave $200 million to the biggest damn Dungeons and Dragons dork you’ve ever met and told him to make a science fiction film. That’s the CoR. Painfully macho, over the top fluff. I mean, the main villains are called NECROBORG*, fer crying out loud.

Kinda entertaining, though, but not something I’d want to see more than once every 4 or 5 years.

  • For full effect, say in Monster Truck Voice.

I went into the movie disliking Vin Diesel and prepared to be underwhelmed. I left the movie still dislikeing Vin Diesel but thought the movie was better than I’d anticipated. It’s solid entertaining popcorn flick with a built-in segue to a sequel - worth a matinee admission.

I saw it last night … went in with low expectations, and they were met. It was what it was, pretty silly stuff but fun. Total popcorn movie: check your knowledge of science at the door and prepare to place your Disbelief in a state of suspended animation.

The costumes were really outstanding, props to the props dept. too. Karl Urban (LOTR’s Eomer) wasn’t half bad. But that mullet! Oy!

By the way, it’s NecroMONGERS.

I saw it on Friday, and while it’s got some serious plot problems (the -300[sup]o[/sup] night in Tshirts) the action was fun and there were a few laughs. I liked how they placed this crazy almost-magic existence in what had previously been a “humans vs. aliens” kind of story, and I was reminded of Dune in that there is a whole lot of crazy stuff happening in the universe.

I definately got a “Conker’s BFD” vibe from the ending, and I considered that this is indeed the kind of person who’d have his life story written up in something called a “Chronicle” a few hundred years down the line. Riddick’s a Paul Bunyan of the future.

What the hell was Kira after, anyway? Diod dhe go looking for Riddick, or was she really really set on getting a pair of nightvision eyes?

Kira (Kyra?). My analysis is thusly:
Kira/Jack was idolizing Riddick and decided to go off & have some adventures. So she signed up w/ a Mercenary team, who turned around and sold her into some form of child prostitution/slavery. She escaped from that somewhere along the line – presumably by killing a couple of people – and was subsequently locked up in the Crematoria triple Max. Where later she matured into a total fox.

Aside from why exactly she left New Mecca the above is gleaned from tidbits in the movie.

Vin Diesel – mmm.

Pretty silly stuff but I like that kind of “world’s end” SF, where people hop planets as easily as driving across the country. I liked the look of it.

And boy, that Karl Urban has the best scowl in the business.

I liked it, but then, I liked Pitch Black and wanted to see more of Riddick. I hope it does well enough to continue on. There are supposed to be 2 more Riddick movies, and I want to see both of them.

Sure it’s silly, but you have to know going into these types of movies what you’re getting into. This is not Mystic River. It’s more Dune-ish, as BraheSilver said.

I liked the look of it, the costumes, the special effects, Vin’s badassedness, Kyra’s badassedness, Judi Dench’s etherealness, the visualization of the worlds and the whole atmosphere.

I didn’t like the fact that it was so short. There’s supposed to be a 3-3 1/2 hour cut of the film, which I would like to see. It was a world I wanted to see more of, and I was left wanting more.

I have to say in the movie’s defense that I honestly didn’t realize it was a sequel when I went with a friend to see it. That may have made it better. As it was, it sucked so bad that I actually got up, went to the restroom, walked outside, smoked a cigarette, played a video game and went back into the theater without the slightest bit of curiosity as to what I’d missed. (Judi Dench must need money.)

I totally didn’t even catch that Vaco was Eomer, until just now when Hello Again brought it up.

The necromongers are rather silly - you can tell they’re “evil” because everyone wears black, has heavy eye makeup, and looks sickly pale. And I kept thinking that their “underverse” wasn’t going to be anything like what they were thinking - it seemed more like the place the ship Event Horizon went in that horror/sci fi movie.

Yeah, if you’re looking for great cinema, this probably ain’t it. However, if you’re looking for a good popcorn movie with a couple of badasses, this isn’t a bad choice and you could certainly do worse. But I like Vin Diesel and the Riddick character, so there you go. I liked it.

And BraheSilver, you’re dead on with the Conker BFD reference - Mr. Snicks said exactly the same thing as we were coming out last night.


I thought that while there were lines that could be cheesy, Diesel’s delivery of them was low key enough that it mitigated the cheesiness factor. In fact I believe it’s his best acting job ever (of course, I also think that Arnie’s best acting job was Mr Freeze, so there ya go…)

This was the best sci-fi/fantasy movie I’ve seen newly in 5 years other than LOTR. Of course, the only ones I can remember in that regard are The Mummy (*2), Stargate, and Dungeons and Dragons, so the bar’s not that high.

having never played conkers bad fur day , can someone explain the reference?

It’s Conan the Barbarian. In Space. Vin plays Arnie. The Necromongers stand in for James Earl Jones’s snake cult.

Badass loner, for mostly selfish reasons, ends up taking out a horrible death cult and becomes “king by his own hand”

If you liked Conan, and think Vin can make a passable Arnie, then it’s for you. If not, then stay away, stay far, far away.

I liked it. Not much, but it was okay.

I thought it was a good popcorn muncher, but then I like the Riddick character. I think it’s Vin Diesel at his best. You can decide if that’s good or not. I definitely got the Conan vibe too, especially with the very last scene of him alone in the throne.

I didn’t get a Conan vibe from it, although now that you mention it, there are similarities. I got more of a Costner’s Postman vibe…

“You Keep what you Kill”, as applicable to single hand combat, was essentially also the credo of the enemy army in the Postman. And the leader dies in single combat at the end, (with the help of an erstwhile ally, nonetheless!!!) and the main character ostensibly takes his place.

I found it entertaining. I thought of Conan while watching it. I think it is worth seeing on the big screen. I wouldn’t see it again on the big screen, but I rarely want to see movies a second time at movie theater prices.

Also, speaking of D&D fans Vin is evidently a gamer. Judy Dench is a big fantasy fan in general, and Vin contacted her to be in the movie. The feel of the movie is very RPG. “See we have a dude who can dodge by moving his soul around against the guy who can see in the dark.” “So it’s psychological.” “Fuck yeah!”

**Good: **

Not as bad as the trailers made it look.

Gothic look of the badguys was very groovy.

Some good dialogue.

The Lord Marshall (Colm Feore)
Looked cheeseball in the trailer, but he played the role quite well. Especially in light of the silly helmet he had to wear most of the time.

Powered By Evil™
The bad guys were conscientious enough to even recycle the black smoke of Evil that apparently was the basis of their technology. It would go out one part of their ships and then back in another.

Kyra (Alexa Davalos) was exceptionally hot.

Dame Vaako (Thandie Newton) was also pretty damn hot, though she wore too much eye makeup.


Are these guys undead or half-dead or what?
I could never figure out what they were trying to get across with the Necromongers. Some, like the Lensers, looked dead. One guy had a knife sticking out of him in several scenes that didn’t seem to trouble him. But other than that, they were more or less normal guys.

Tooms (Nick Chinland)
Apparently, Tom Waits and Ron Perlman have a love child.

Vaako (Karl Urban – Eomer from Lord of the Rings)
He looks embarrassed to be in the movie. And with that mullet, he oughta be.

Had to sit through the Catwoman trailer again.

Riddick is repeatedly described in the trailers and in the prologue as “a different kind of evil,” but is, in fact, quite a nice guy.
He doesn’t kill anybody who isn’t pointing a weapon at him or hasn’t done him some action movie death-worthy wrong. I was disappointed.

No discernable logic to the plot:
[li]The bounty hunters intercept Riddick in the middle of an attack by the Necromongers but seem almost unaware that the Necromongers even exist.[/li][li]They take Riddick to a godforsaken prison planet run by three guys who can’t even afford dry cigarettes but can somehow afford to pay a huge amount of money for a convict they then apparently intend to feed to a tiger. I’m not sure what economic model they’re using but it doesn’t seem too sound to me.[/li][li]The bounty hunters’ spaceship can sit in direct sunlight while in orbit, but that same sunlight practically parboils their ship as they race to land.[/li][li]Ships that have been clearly shown to be capable of hovering probably don’t need to make skidding crash landings at full speed unless they’re broken.[/li][li]The super-powerful sunlight of the prison planet turns some people into ash immediately while others are merely irritated by the glare. Riddick actually stands a few feet away from one guy who is burnt to cinders but, apparently because he is in the shade, he barely even squints or shows any evidence of discomfort at the 700 degree heat.[/li][li]It is clearly shown that the Necromongers returning to their ship do not see Kyra and she presumably sneaks aboard their ship. For some reason, Riddick automatically assumes she’s been captured, and, for some reason, he’s right, despite the fact that she has the demonstrated ability to kick the living crap out of anybody.[/li][li]I’m not even sure why the story even involves the prison planet, as it contributes almost nothing to the plot while consuming half the running time.[/li][/ul]

Good or Bad, Depending on the viewer:

Continues Pitch Black’s preoccupation with putting Vin Diesel in bondage scenes.
Well, it’s your call, but frankly he’s not my type. Not quite as blatantly fetishistic (if that’s even a word–I’m too lazy to look it up) as the first movie, but still pretty prevalent.

Horrible movie, ridiculous slef-important storyline, terrible editing, mediocre FX. Not worth the price of admission…and I got in free.

I’m with Menocchio, this movie screamed Conan the Barbarian, especially the end.

Overall, I found the movie somewhat enjoyable, but a real piss poor sequel of Pitch Black. I loved the Western feel of the original, and the character of Riddick as this instinctive, decisive homicidal maniac was great. His character had enough going for him to carry on a great sequel, but apparently the writters of this movie didn’t feel the same way and needed to make him even “more important”. I mean, the whole bit about him being a Furrion, and the prophecy were just crap. And I hate sequels that kill off the survivors of the first movie. If you’re just going to bump them off (especially in stupid ways) why bother having them show up at all?

As it was, I still enjoyed the flick and liked the action in it. And any movie where the villains call themselves the “Dead fuckers” has to get some props :slight_smile: Speaking of which, the costumes were great…I really thought the movie did a great job with that.

As is, the story is silly, the plot rather foolish and clunky, but the characters were fun and the action was good, so I didn’t mind spending my $5.50 to check it out (gotta love student discounts). Not the sequel I would have liked, but it was a fairly decent sci-fi adaptation of an old plot. The final fight was pretty nice.

As a side note: They were able to run along the planet without freezing to death because they were essentially moving in the twilight hours; not too hot, not too cold…juuuuust right. Of course, they all should have been baked when they got caught on the side of the mountain, but what the hell?

Also, I’m curious to see some of the deleted scenes. The trailer shows a bit where Riddick’s surrounded by enemies, on his knees, and glowing. Suddenly a burst of energy shoots out of him and kills the villains…yet, that didn’t happen anywhere in the film. Curious as to what that was supposed to be about.