Really, it isn’t. I, like many other service monkeys, have to ask the stupid question at the end of every call.
No, I don’t have the winning lottery numbers.
No, I can’t put a million dollars in your account.
No, I can’t make the stock market go up.
No, I can’t get you a new president.
I know you think you’re being funny, but you’re not.
Sheesh! People actually say stuff like that?
When I get a help desk person who is both competent and helpful, when they ask me that I feel like, dude, you’ve already produced a miracle, what more could I want?
More often than not, when I call customer service I go away unsatisfied with the result but acknowledge that it’s not the CSR’s fault, and to pursue it would take more time and effort that I want to put into it. So I end up not really getting helped to my satisfaction. When the CSR asks if there’s anything else they could help me with, my first thought is to respond “but you haven’t really helped me with the FIRST problem!”, but I don’t. I just say “no, not today” and hang up, then grumble a little.
I hear the lottery numbers comment once a day. And we don’t even have the lottery in our state.
As a call center QA person, I feel your pain. We’ve got a group that’s experimenting with no scripting. I’m finding they’re still using it anyway.
Gosh, I just thank them very much for their help. They have a tough enough job.
This is a problem that transcends all customer service jobs. I was a beer vendor for the Texas Rangers several years ago. My “favorite” was when I passed a beer to someone in the center of the row; they’d pass a $20 to pay for the beer, the person on the end would invariably say: “Keep the change.” Hardee frickin har har, ass hat. They’d cackle like they invented a new joke right there on the spot. At least I was doing a job where I could say “Gee that’s the first time I’ve heard that.” (in a nice sarcastic tone)
“And what credit card will you use for the deposit?”
“YOURS! HAR HAR HAR!”
:rolleyes: It wasn’t funny the first time. It’s never funny. Go. Away.
This is where the SD has done a service. I used to be one of those “funny” people. Not any more.
I now realize that the service people have heard them all, and I am not actually that funny.
Maybe if you hear it a few more times, you’ll come to understand the full comic weight of it!
At least the clueless caller is *trying *to inject a little humor into your day. I don’t work in a call center but I do provide technical support, usually by phone. The problems we get into are usually pretty involved and there are people breathing fire on the guy who calls me trying to get things fixed. When I ask him if there’s anything else (assuming we’ve fixed his issue) his attempt at humor usually makes me feel that he’s at least in a little better place than the guy who curses me out.
Of course, I chuckle politely, roll my eyes and move on at that point because all our calls are recorded …
It’s a stupid question anyway because it hands control over to the caller right when you’re trying to wrap it up and end things gracefully. At best, they fumble through expressing that you did a good job (why thank you! I’m glad you appreciate my skills. Now, I really need to help the NEXT person… g’bye, okay? G’bye! so awkward), and at worst they’re so pleased with your help that they want you to fix something ELSE for them now. Or, of course, they hated what you told them and it’s like an inverted version of “stop that or I’ll give you something to cry about”: “I’ve made you mad and now I’m DARING you to keep going by asininely pretending that I helped you and trying to make you agree with me!”
I like restating whatever it is we’ve just done and what should happen next, and sometimes encouraging them to keep doing whatever they did right that helped them, e.g. writing down an error message or calling their doctor because the doctor told them to call if they had a symptom. It’s like the Mr. Rogers school of phone support. If you do it right, they feel good about calling back if they have to, but not SO good that they start depending on you for emotional succor.
How about cute comments about ending sentences with prepositions?
Question: if you genuinely heard a new one, and it was funny, would that make a difference?
My husband does this. He is an otherwise nice, normal, pleasant human being. I’m considering a cattle prod and a little aversion therapy to convince him that the lottery numbers question isn’t cute.
How about…
“Yes, there is something you can help me with! I’ve always had trouble ending conversations like this. What do you suggest?”
I’d giggle, anyways.
My fiance is that guy too. Every single time we go out to eat the waiter or waitress will ask, “How was everything?” when they are collecting the dishes and his response is always a big smile, a gesture to the empty plate, and “It was horrible!” I asked him once why he says that every time and he said that he doesn’t care if the waitstaff thinks it is funny because he thinks it is hilarious and as long as it makes him happy he will continue to make his joke and tip 30%. At least he knows that he is being annoying and compensates for it. 
It’s all part of the social dance. You’re required to ask the question; they’re compelled to answer in a “cute” way. And so it goes.
One time my ex-wife and I were at the pit cashing in our $30 of slot machine winnings and she asked how we wanted it. I said “$100 BILLS” and we laughed and laughed and laughed. Never a more stone-faced Indian I ever did see.
Ask a silly question, get a silly answer.
I know it is probably not your fault, and some management drone requires you to ask the silly question, but it is still, in most circumstances, silly, and leaves the customer little option but to either mumble an embarrassed “No, thanks,” or attempt a “cute” answer. You are directing your rage in the wrong direction. Blame the manager who makes you say this even when it is inappropriate.
What’s silly about asking if there’s anything else you can help with? It’s making sure you’ve done your job before you hang up. Can’t imagine someone in customer service operating any other way.