Tailgaters.
Jaywalkers, especially when the crosswalk is right there.
People who get out of their car and leave their soft drink cup right next to it. What the hell, people?
This one goes back to when I was a kid. I’m kind of soft-spoken, but there’s no faster way to piss me off then to talk over me and interrupt me.
People who stand too close to me in checkout lines–hey, I don’t smell that sweet, you can back up at least an inch or 12.
People who have to look at the exact item I’m examing in a store. There’s a whole lotta stuff on this aisle, do you have to look where I’m looking right at this second.
Rhonda? Eileen?
Mine is muffins. You know, those bready things that you split in half and toast and eat with butter on them? Mmmmmm.
There was a time, about fifteen or twenty years ago, when cafes started taunting me by advertising that they had muffins for sale. Because I love a good toasted butter-slathered muffin for a snack. And I’d get inside and find that instead of the muffins I was hankering for they had these ridiculous cupcakes on steroids that they were trying to palm off on the unsuspecting public. Apparently my beloved muffins were being demoted to English muffins and these other wretched abominations were being foisted on us under the same flag.
Those are not muffins, they’re CAKE. Don’t fool yourself, you’re eating CAKE for breakfast (oh, and don’t get me started on banana “bread” while we’re at it).
Also, anyone using the phrase “I’m all about <blah blah blah>”. No, people are not “about” things. Books are about things. Paintings can be about things. People are concerned about things, or interested in things, or approve of things.
Around here, anyone walking up to you with “Can I ask you a question,” is invariably going to be a homeless person/scammer asking for money.
Reading this, I just had to cut and paste something from another board…
If you drive anywhere from 0 - 250km/h (150mph) on the right (in American, left) lane, and insist on keeping on the right (left) lane even when someone comes up behind you, you are a hogger. Hoggers are drivers who have brains the size of my left testicle, who most probably can’t score a screw with a hooker, who probably jerks off to the picture of elmo. (no the comments weren’t written by me, it just seemed appropriate)
I walk all the time, so I have no objection to braking for pedestrians when I’m driving and such. But when I’m driving and people just step off the curb into traffic without looking, stroll across lanes in parking lots, or casually saunter across the crosswalk - well, I won’t say it infuriates me, but I definitely think “That person should die” and wish I were permitted to run them over.
I should have known the route to my most successful OP I can recall is to tap in to my fellow Dopers’ inner rage . . .
It’s a personal space issue and I acknowledge it might be petty, but I get REALLY irritated when I’m in a bathroom full of empty stalls and someone takes the stall right next to mine.
Yeah, we’ve had threads about this in the pit many times. In fact, I was going to say I remembered the above, though obviously someone else must have just said something similar. But, I stand by my position. When I’m in the left lane I’m going fast enough that I don’t imagine anyone would need to pass me. Plus, I’m tailgaiting the poor schmuck in front of me so you can’t pass me anyway 
Still more, along the same lines:
Example: “It’s not only healthy but “self” healthy because it is how you feel about yourself of what you portray and towards yourself.”
What?
If you’re tailgating someone in the passing (fast) lane then you’re half right and half wrong then! 
This is a group of people who lose their shit over misplaced, commas. I don’t think any of us are surprised.
I owuld think if ANYONE should be posting in this thread…it should be MeanOldLady!
Those are the prime resources of beauty-pageant contestants.
Yeah, I don’t know why I keep reading them, except I don’t want to spend $40+ on a bottle of foundation only to find that I’ll be turning orange before the day is out.
I think “self healthy” is my new favorite phrase though. It’s all about how I present myself within myself, which is a healthful way to have.
I am so there. I hate those tiny moments where you’re all, “Why isn’t this stupid thing wor-- Oh, never mind.”
It’s like being interrupted just before you swing at a guy. You probably avoided some embarrassment, but part of you thinks that it would have been nice to take a swing at something. It’s like this internal embarrassing moment.
Michelle? Ma belle?
Arg, I hate that! The kids around here frakkin’ *slow down *in the crosswalk. It’s caused me to actually add “children slow down, and adults speed up in the crosswalk” to my internal “what makes you an adult” list.
Here’s another thing that needs to be banned immediately.
People who poke to get attention.
I have ears that are in perfect working order. You know this since we’ve known each other for years and never have I given you any reason to believe that I’m deaf. Just say something and I promise that I’ll promptly respond to you whatever it is you want. There is no need to tap me, and there’s definitely no need to tap and call my name at the same time. I mean, you are right next to me. Try to get my attention verbally before you commence to beating up my arm, please.
Tapping me, poking me, grabbing my arm, nudging me or touching me in any other way that violates my inner calm makes me partially hulk out, just so you know. I would hate to haul off and slap you reflexively, but what can you expect when you prod me with your bloody fingers? You might as well me daring me to club you like a baby seal.
I hate this so bad that I’m getting enraged just thinking about it!
I hate beyond all rational thought seeing a passenger (generally a girl) with her shoes and sox off with her feet sticking out the window of a moving car. I know its summer and its hot, sit up straight and keep your nasty feet where no one else has to see them. I don’t care how nice your $80 pedicure looks.
Funnily enough, I wear sandals all the time and love my feet and I am completely grossed out by this too. I’m not sure why, but it just infuriates me.
Other than that, check on a thousand things in this thread, including
[ul]
[li]people stopping with their carts in the middle of an aisle[/li][li]people who poke me[/li][li]people who tailgate[/li][li]the damn assholes crossing the street so slowly in some sort of passive-aggressive thing[/li][li]The Indian thing! The other day someone wanted me to hook up their friend with an Indian guy, because of course I would know an appropriate young unmarried Indian guy, because I am Indian. Are you kidding me? Not only do I not know many Indians, I hardly know any Indians, [/li][li]cigarette window tossers[/li][/ul]
I mean it’s not like I wander all over the place in a rage. I am a very calm person - but these things just seem like such a fundamental dislike or ignorance of the fact that other people live on this planet, too.