When I’m on a plane/train/bus/in the theater/etc. and the man in the seat next to me sits with his legs so widely spread that his leg is touching mine. C’mon, your junk is not that big. It makes me want to stick a knife in his leg.
I actually like to wander all over in a rage! 
It might rank as one of my top 10 things to do!
See I stopped saying this when I sat next to a drop-dead gorgeous guy on a plane and realized I didn’t mind one bit, him leaning against me. He smelled wonderful, too.
It still annoys me most of the time but I figure I’ve lost my right to complain about it. 
Unfortunately, that never happens to me and I travel quite a lot. :mad:
I hate this too, but not for the gross-out factor. Rather, I think to myself, “Enjoy the mangled body you’re gonna get in the accident. Hope you enjoyed having a pelvis . . .”
I hate bickering over the check after a dinner out with family and/or friends. I would rather just take the check and pay the whole thing than rehash who had what and who owes what down to the last penny. Ruins the whole evening for me.
My beef is also movie related. I go to a lot of movies, probably two per week. I’d say about half the time, someone will sit near me and chit chat with each other during the movie. Just this past weekend, I was sitting in an EMPTY theater when an older couple walked in and sat DIRECTLY behind me. They started chattering as soon as the previews started. I gave them a chance to pipe down, but after about 10 minutes into the movie, I turned around and politely told them to stop talking during the movie. And this seemingly nice, elderly couple had the nerve to give me attitude. I hope their social security checks get lost in the mail.
Well, is your real name Audrey? Is it something like, “Feed me, Seymour!”
So every other Friday we get our paycheck. And most every other Friday the woman who hands out the paycheck makes a mention about how we can go online and check a box to make our checks paperless so we’re not wasting so many trees.
There are a number of responses I could (and some that I have) made:
Mathematical: You do realize that we lay waste to about seventeen and a half forests every single day around this place. One single folded paper for 40 people isn’t going to be a huge net benefit.
** Defensive**: well, I do recycle my soda cans and newspapers so I’d like to think I’m generally green conscious…
Sarcastic: gosh, so sorry to give you extra work. That whole looking someone up by name and moving your arm to hand out a piece of paper must be both physically and mentally exhausting.
pragmatic: There are certain pieces of information not included in the online version that I consider important to track.
anachronistic: Whelp, I guess I’m just old fashioned that way. What can I tell you?
CPAish You know, for tax records I feel it necessary to file away each of my paychecks so I have an accurate accounting on a bi-weekly basis.
But what I really really want to say is this:
Pittish: Yo bitch. Back the FUCK off. What I fucking do with my fucking check is none of your fucking goddamned concern. Save the fucking trees? how about I break this redwood right up your damned asshole? Gah. Just shut up with your whiney preachyness and hand me my money.
It makes me REALLY DISPROPORTIONATELY ANGRY when people act like gypsies are some kind of legendary creature that you should dress up as for Halloween, or name your cat after, or have as your screen name. Because it’s so much fun to be a gypsy! It’s so lighthearted and carefree! Nothing says “wheeee!” like living in devastating poverty or being the victim of crushing discrimination! Yay! Who wouldn’t want to be a gypsy, really?! Never mind the issue of dressing up as the stereotype of an ethnic group, that’s okay, too!
As a federal employee, my husband literally does not have the option of receiving his pay as a piece of paper that’s worth money. He is required to have it direct-deposited. I do understand that this is ecologically responsible, but still, considering the sheer volume of waste the feds produce just to do things they way they’ve ‘always been done’, :smack:
Holy cripes, I guess it’s possible! But it most certainly has never happened to me, either. Sounds like the start of a rom-com starring Kate Hudson…
Being laughed at, even if it’s not really meant to be mean-spirited. Way back when I used to work in a factory where we weren’t allowed to leave for lunch, I had no food with me and $3 in my purse. At lunch I put my $3 into the vending machine and tried to open a door for a sandwich, only it wouldn’t open, leaving me with nothing to eat and no way to get anything else. For some reason a co-worker thought the sight of me trying to get that door open was hilarious, and laughed so hard she cried.
I picked up the microwave and bludgeoned her to death. In my mind. Unfortunately.
While it doesn’t enrage me, I am somewhat bemused by how things work at our office, where payroll was outsourced earlier this year. Everyone, everyone, has direct deposit. Each payday, we still get an envelope with a folded up piece of paper listing our pay and deductions just like before the process was outsourced, but now there’s an extra bit attached that looks very much like a check, but carries large letters printed across it saying “THIS IS NOT A CHECK”. Jeez, couldn’t we at least dispense with the NOT A CHECK? Apparently not.
Or Dolores?
I quoted the entire post because it infuriates me. Now I need to know the name.
It’s as infuriating as the “14k of g in a fpd” nonsense.
Clementine?
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.
Or have reviewing bad movies in the Satellite of Love.
Also, my mother told me if I didn’t behave she was gonna sell me to the Gypsies.
Dorothy? We’re off to see the wizard. . .