Apparently I'm a Satan Worshipper

The other day I let a friend of mine from work borrow my car on her lunch break. Not a big deal, we’ve done it before.

Today she stops by my office and we’re chatting. I refer to someone as a “sick, twisted individual.”

She says, “Speaking of sick and twisted…just what CD did you have playing?”

“A techno mix my brother gave me. Why?”

It seems that the track that started right after she got in the car was by a guy called DJ Narcissist, and it’s called Gate 666. There’s a decent, if somewhat bland, beat with a guy bellowing over it in time saying something like:





Gate 1

Gate 2

Gate 3

Gate 4

Gate 5

Gate 6…6…6!**

Now, taking into account that I wear all black sometimes and also listen to Death Metal, I am now thought of as a Satan worshipper.

I don’t suppose the cross around my neck or tattooed on my shoulder would convince her otherwise?

Eh…doesn’t matter.

As one person branded as a Satan worshipper to another, allow me to say, Welcome Aboard!

At least I got branded a Satan Worshipper for listening to a Tool song. Techno? Sheesh…

The least you coulda done was given her Marilyn Manson… at least then she’d have a reason to bitch.

  • Apologies to MM fans but come on he does bring it on himself

I was dubbed the “Spawn of Satan” once by the mother of one of my ex-girlfriends, since I listened to Manson, Nirvana (wtf) and Pantera at various times in my life. That, and the fact she just hated me in general

Geez, tell me about it.

When I was in the green of youth, I got branded as a Satan-worshipper just for getting naked with friends and fucking in the woods. Apparently, “Io Pan!” sounds exactly like “satan” to certain ears.

It was a perfectly respectable Pythagorean pentagram, too.

Bah, rookies all of ya. I got labeled that back in my youth by playing D&D. I mean, ya know, EVERYONE who played back then was also into human sacrifice and pentegrams and all that other stuff.

Nowdays you can just get that label by just listening to certain types of music? Rookies I tell ya!

I love it when you talk geometry…

I got branded a Satan worshipper for dying my hair black. And for getting bored one night and trying to contact the office ghost on a homemade Ouija board. Oh, and for offering to make one of my co-workers a voodoo doll of her boyfriend.

Jeez, try to have a little fun…