A real man is one who takes his coffee black.
Yes, it has been mentioned in other threads – the notion of manliness including utter unflinching stoicism, “taking it like a man”. Blah.
One defends him/herself proportionately when justified. However as mentioned in other posts we do have to take into consideration that society’s standards of what is proportional are NOT gender-blind. But the answer is not to renounce self-defense.
And yeah, it’s not up to us to “teach there are consequences”. The consequence is we remove the offending person from our lives.
There was a series of books before most of you were born, that hashed out topics like this. The first best seller was “Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche”, followed by “Real Women Don’t Pump Gas”. (Actually, 1982, so this is far from a new idea.)
I’ve got 7/9 so I’m like a C+ man.
That being said I’ve always live by if you hit me I’ll hit you back harder. Now that doesn’t mean I break a girls jaw for slapping me but I have punched a chick in a bar fight after she punched me for punching her boyfriend. I think you could say that beating on those weaker then you makes you “not a real man” but there is no way you a required to go through life being anyone’s punchingbag.
I’ll counter with a quote from this article about a man who was raped by a woman:
So, she’s a rape-enabler.
Good Golly! What a story! I hope that this idiotic attitude changes soon. I generally don’t advocate violence against anybody, but a guy responding in kind to a woman’s physical assault should not be considered a crime. (Unless he really overdoes it with his response.)
If you’re a woman and you think that you can initiate a physical assault against a man, and then hide behind your gender in order to get off scott-free, then you belong behind bars, or at least in anger-management therapy.
But then you don’t have a free hand to prevent yourself from getting bitten or kicked.
I, actually, have heard that story happen a couple of times over, to guys whom I knew to be good guys. They were young, got into bad relationships, a fight would start, the woman would hit, he would push her off, she’d call the cops, he’d get arrested.
I think society’s starting to get wise to the fact that men can be victims of domestic violence too, but it’s going to take longer for the some areas of society to see it - specifically, areas still heavily entrenched in a patriarchal system (law enforcement, government).
Yes, for the record I agree with this. I think “real adults” avoid violence when at all possible but as a woman, I cannot stand other women who think they get physical with a man and not expect to get bitch slapped.
I know some “real men”. I avoid them, and have nothing in common with them. Some of them are essentially robots, whose life consists of obeying one-word commands that leak through their cortex, like Eat, Sleep, Fuck, Fight.
I’ve always had a tit-for-tat policy: keep your hands off me, and I’ll keep mine off you. Hit me and expect to be hit back. Fair is fair, and assault is not just a male province.
Thanks for making this seem like a lie. :dubious:
The black eye was real. I saw it. Sure, in week it was gone, but it was there alright. The facial swelling on the one side of his face was down by the end of the week. If I’d known it would have been called into question, if I’d known it would come up in conversation,
if I’d known I’d be writing about it all this time later, I would have insisted on taking a picture of him, “…because, you know, they’re just not going to believe it, such a Story it is.”
In hindsight, all that would get anyone is his privacy gone… because what might people say then?
“Maybe he fell? PROVE his wife did it.”
Because this Never [del]happened[/del] happens. :dubious:
Real women don’t want special rules just for women.
There’s a big difference between self-defense and hitting someone just because they hit you first. One is self-defense and one is assault.
Like his men!
MRAs often spout a lot of ridiculous nonsense, but on this issue I think they actually raise a valid point: It is a double standard to say that a woman should be able to strike a man but that a man should be required to simply stand there and passively take a beating.
And also to take the argument to a logical extreme, if a man has no right to use force “even in self defense”, does this mean that if a woman is trying to stab a man to death, that he should just…stand there and be stabbed to death?
Also. if the female coworker mentioned in the OP has a husband or son, I’m curious if, if that son or husband were to be assaulted by another woman, whether she would want her son or husband to simply passively not resist the violent attack.
Well, this is an oddly well-timed thread. I had a young male person come to me this morning and tell me that his girlfriend was hitting him. I told him that was unacceptable (duh) and gave him a hotline number to call. I also offered to babysit for them anytime they needed to work things out between themselves.
If he’d been female, I’d have told him to leave, but them having a baby sure complicates things.
A real woman gets a job doing construction work on a skyscraper, and spits rivets from her teeth!
Seems like a fine line, to me. Striking back is self defense. If you think an angry woman won’t knee you in the balls if you merely grab her, you may be in for a rude shock. I may back away if assaulted, but it really depends on circumstance.
That all said, I’ve only been assaulted by a woman once in my life. It was unprovoked and she was drinking. She’d been giving me the fat-mouth all evening (which I largely ignored) and we were all leaving for home. I happened to turn just in time to see her winging a kick in my direction and blocked it. I immediately went after her, but a couple of guys grabbed me. Probably a good thing, as I really would have flattened her ass.