Baby Smaje is due in a couple of weeks, and two of my odoctors (OB/GYN and pediatrician-to-be) have instructed me and my husband to get a DTaP vaccine to protect against (among other things) whopping cough. Evidentally whooping cough is a serious problem with newborns, and there have been higher rates of the disease reported in the past few years.
Said doctors also told me that anyone who will be coming into close and prolonged contact with Baby Smaje should also get the vaccine. That means the in-laws (grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, 8-year-old cousin) and my own parents. The in-laws live in town, and they’ve made it clear they plan to spend as much time with the baby as possible. My own parents will be spending a week or so visiting us a few weeks after the birth.
It seems to me that it’s kinda presumptuous to ask someone to get vaccinated. On the other hand, I’ve had two doctors tell me that this was important - it’s not like I just found some wacky studies on-line or anything. My husband thinks it’ll be a hard sell with his parents, who notoriously hate doctors. I’m pretty sure my parents would be willing to do it. I’m not sure about my brother-in-law and his wife and kid. But if my sister-in-law was having a baby and asked me to get vaccinated before I spent large amounts of time with it, I would probably just shrug and go along with it. (Oh, and everyone involved has insurance that would pay for this.)
I don’t think any of the involved parties would get extremely offended by me asking this of them, but I’m worried that they’ll blow me off and say I’m being paranoid. And if they refuse, do I tell them they can’t see the baby? That sounds insane to me.
Have any other parents gone through something similar? Or if your brother/sister/daughter/son asked *you *to get vaccinated on doctor’s orders, would you be willing to do it?
You need to find out what the occurrence of pertussis in your area is, and judge from there.
In any case, I wouldn’t approach it as an order (vaccine or no baby!) but rather start a conversation about how your doctor made this recommendation, and you looked online and found out that immunity only lasts about ten years, how about that! adults need the vaccine too!, and then you looked up the rates in your area and there’s really been a resurgence, and it’s SO SCARY how hard pertussis is on little babies…
Basically, try to work them around to volunteering to get vaccinated. Sounds like this might not work with some of them.
Having said that, the baby will eventually undergo her own round of vaccinations, independent of any darn fool family members.
You might try a softer approach - something like “Because of the recent uptick in pertussis, I’m a little uncomfortable having people spend a lot of time around Baby Smaje without updating their vaccines. Of course you can come meet him/her, but if you want to do any prolonged cuddling, I need your help to keep him/her safe.” This puts the responsibility on the visitors to decide which option they prefer, instead on you as the gatekeeper.
Well, yes, but the pertussis series won’t be complete until age 4-6.
You might ask if your local drug store will do the vaccination - sometimes you can get vaccines without visiting a doctor. Especially if you are willing to pay for it, that might help with your in-laws.
I work in veterinary medicine, so it’s a no-brainer and a matter of course to me, and I would not by any means have a problem with someone asking me to get the vaccine if I’m going to be around their baby a lot, as a sitter or caretaker.
If they won’t, some good soap, hand sanitizer, and face masks are inexpensive, and you should show them how to wash/sanitize their hands properly and wear a surgical mask properly. (I’ve seen people wear them below their nose…?!) If you really want to make them look silly, buy the “duck” surgical masks. While they are a little more comfortable, they really look ridiculous!
Not being able to snuggle and kiss baby with a mask on would be fairly good incentive, I think.
As a pending father of twins that will most likely be pre-mature I think it’s perfectly reasonable. Bottom line - my most keen focus is the health and welfare of my two little dividends. If people want to hold them or be in close proximity - they need shots. If they don’t get the shots then can admire from a distance for the first few months until they are a little more resilient.
If you are going to be revaccinated your best bet is to breastfeed to keep passing those antibodies to your baby until s/he’s old enough to be vaccinated herself.
In fact, ask your doctor if you can be vaccinated now. Some of the antibodies your body produces will get to the baby via the placenta, and may increase baby’s resistance to the disease. Nobody’s 100% sure if this works, but there are increased antibodies in the blood of babies whose mothers were immunized in pregnancy, and generally increased antibodies mean greater resistance to the disease.
More on neonatal vaccination here: http://journals.lww.com/pidj/Fulltext/2005/05001/Role_of_Maternal_Pertussis_Antibodies_in_Infants.12.aspx
I mean, after all, even if you summon up the nerve to ask them, are you really going to ask for proof? What’s to stop them from saying, “Oh, yeah, yeah, doc gave me the shot last week. Where’s that baby?!” And you can’t immunize the whole world. So do what you can to protect your baby yourself, and that’s immunizing yourself, breastfeeding and encouraging people to wash their hands a lot!
Re the handwashing thing: Be a vicious and brutal barracuda about demanding that people wash their hands in hot soapy water before touching your newborn. Yes, some people will roll their eyes. Some people might get offended. Some people might even flame me in this very thread for suggesting it. But I had a newborn and was very laissez-faire about letting people touch him and hold him without washing their hands first. If I had made them wash their hands, would we have avoided his RSV infection and subsequent MRSA pneumonia, necessitating several weeks in the hospital, including a couple of weeks having machines breathe for him and having two surgeries to insert chest tubes to drain all the crap from his chest?
Dunno. Maybe not. But I still wish I’d done it anyway. (And I wish someone had told me this.)
With pertussis already epidemic in California, and outbreaks in several other states, it’s important to cocoon your baby. Would you ask them to stay away from him if they were already sick? Probably. Will you ask them to wash their hands and be careful of face to face contact? Most likely. This is just one more necessary step. Put it in terms of being best for the baby, and maybe put the onus on your doctor, if that will help.
Are any of them NASCAR fans? Jeff Gordon did this for his new baby.
The three latest babies I know are being ‘cocooned’ by their parents and grandparents, who have all had pertussis boosters in the last few months, everybody but the moms before the babies arrived, the moms before they left the hospital.
Pertussis immunity isn’t even close to complete until the baby has had at least the first three shots, at 2, 4, and 6 months. The only way to protect them is to prevent exposure. I’d push it. Can you just act like it’s the expected thing to do? “We’ll all need a pertussis booster. When do you plan to get yours?”
Thanks for saying this. I’m sorry your little one got so sick!
WhyNot, I’m definitely going to get myself vaccinated (prenatal) ASAP. But you’re right, I can’t very well ask for proof that anyone else got the vaccine. But I don’t think they’re the kind of people who would lie about it.
Sounds like it best to play it cool(ish) and give folks two options - get the vaccine and cuddle away, or don’t get the vaccine and slather on the antibacterial gel (I like the face mask idea too!) before touching the baby in a limited manner. Thanks everyone for your input!
And yeah, tease away about putting the baby in a plastic bubble. After you carry one of these little fuckers in your womb for nine stressful months, doing everything you can to actually ensure its survival, you’d want to put it in a plastic bubble too.
I would appeal to the authority of the doctor, and tell your family that YOUR DOCTORS say that because of recent outbreaks, it’s very important that everyone who is going to spend time with Baby Smaje needs to get an updated vaccination.
In the case of his parents: Around here Walgreens is giving that vaccine. If that’s true where you live, his parents wouldn’t need to see a doctor.
I am due in April and yes, I find your restrictions perfectly reasonable. I have a neighbor who is very much vocally anti-vaccine. She’s not touching the baby for least three months even with any hand washing.
You could also try the angle that maybe they should consider getting boosters anyway, aside from baby-related reasons. My doc had me get a booster when I had my checkup last year because there have been outbreaks around here, and I’m asthmatic anyway.
I don’t think you would be out of line if you restricted her for at least 6 months, and then still required rigorous hand washing and a face mask. Maybe also require her to allow you to give her a tongue-lashing for being a dumbass during the visit. She wouldn’t come over often, at least.
Is that a booster or the original vaccination for you and your husband, smaje? I’m curious if doctors are recommending people who have had all their shots as children get boosters.
She sent me an email praising Jenny McCarthy’s stance on vaccines. She’s a nice person and a good neighbor but she is a dumbass on this issue. She said very stupid things about the flu vaccine and told me she won’t get her twins any booster shots because they had a mild reaction to the DTaP vaccine. She won’t come over to my house anyway as she is extremely allergic to cats and I have two of them.
What’s wrong with wanting to protect a baby from someone who has revealed herself to be against reasonable health precautions? I happen to like her very much but I will not visit her house with the baby nor will I let her very close to my newborn for a few months. If that offends you well be offended. I will do what I can to protect my baby from someone who is unfortunately off the deep end on this topic.
My next door neighbor is a pediatrics nurse. She has terrible stories of taking care of babies on respirators after a pertussis outbreak a few years ago. I’ll do what I can to help make sure my baby isn’t one of them. Ever.
I had a baby about 3 months ago, and on the day I was scheduled to leave the hospital with the baby, the “vaccine cart” came rolling down the hall, giving pertussis vaccines to all new moms and dads. They didn’t out-and-out refuse to let me take the baby home without having one, but it was heavily, heavily stressed that me, you, him, her, anyone, everyone, who was going to be around the baby needed that vaccine.
And yes, they are recommending the booster for EVERYONE, because apparently the ones we adults had as children has lost its effectiveness. Supposed to get a pertussis booster every 10 years now.
