Arabian Nights

Greg Charles writes:

> Sex - death = pregnancy.

And using algebra we can rearrange that to this:

Sex = Death + Pregnancy.

Could you post the details of your version? I found a 16 volume set on Amazon but the only customer review states that the footnotes aren’t included in this set.

I was talking with a friend about something and was reminded of one of the opening stories in my version of the books. Here’s the actual text, which somehow is able to choose to use the worst word for everything. Cock? Bull? Ass?

But here’s a summary:

There’s this man, a rich farmer who owns a bunch of farmland. He has a magical ability to understand what animals are saying. But, if he ever tells anyone what an animal says, he’ll die.

So he’s standing outside the stables and he overhears his ass and bull talking. The bull is complaining about how hard he has to work every day, pulling heavy things around, being beaten, working in the heat of the sun, etc. The ass makes a suggestion to the bull, telling him to pretend to be sick so he can take a few days off.

Well so the next day, one of the farmer’s workers tries to take the bull out to work, but it refuses to move or eat. The worker goes to ask the farmer what he should do. The farmer tells him to take the ass and work it instead.

That night, the farmer is standing outside the stables again and he hears the donkey telling the bull that he better work again, or he’ll be turned into beef! Well, so this causes the farmer to laugh, knowing that the ass just wants to get out of having to work.

His wife overhears him laughing though. She thinks that it is her that he is laughing at. He tells her that he can’t tell her what he was laughing about, or he’d die.

She won’t accept this as an excuse and keeps nagging him for days and days on end. Eventually he gives in and agrees to tell her. But first he must prepare for his death. So he calls for all his family and his lawyer to come. He creates his will and waits for his family to come listen to his final words.

Before he dies though, he wishes to pray. So he goes out into the yard, kneeling down to pray. And as he does so, he overhears his dog and a cock talking.

The dog is asking the cock what it thinks the farmer should do about his predicament. The cock explains, as an expert in dealing with many hens, that the proper course for dealing with your hens is to reward those who are good and punish those who are bad. The farmer should go to the nearby tree and fashion a switch with which to beat his wife until she apologizes and accepts his mastery.

The farmer realizes the wisdom of the cock’s words.

He fashions a switch and goes back into the house to beat his wife. She apologizes and they lived happily ever after.

The End

I have a complete set from the 19th century. It’s numbered and all.

I find your statement weird. I know that the original Burton translation has been reprinted – but it’s not reset – the reprint is a facsimile of the original edition, footnotes and all. I also have an abridged single-volume edition entitled “Tales from the Arabian Nights”, published by Avenel Books of New Jersey. It contains a facsimile of the Burton text of several of the stories (including the Porter and the Three Ladies, the Ebony Horse, and Aladdin, which isn’t even in the “original” arabian Nights. Burton puts it in the section he calls “the Supplemental Nights”) It’s illustrated with engravings from Lane’s earlier but expurhated translation. But it contains the Burton footnotes.
To tell the truth, every hardcover edition I have of Burton’s book, even if abridged, contains the footnotes. The only editions I have without the footnotes are two “selections from” in paperback. These, necessarily, have been reset, and the footnotes are absent. But I’ll bet that, if the copy you were looking at was a full-size hardcover, it has the footnotes.

I’m not really understanding your objection here. Shahrzad was still his wife. She still slept with him. She didn’t need to multitask since she didn’t tell her stories 24 hours a day, or even all night long. She told the stories to her sister until it was time for her to do her wifely duties and her sister to go back to her own room. The stories were a relatively small part of their days, but enough of a thread to keep her alive for three years. That is vaguely plausible since the sheik seems to have been somewhat OCD.

However, according to Edgar Allen Poe, the sheik had her executed on the 1002nd day for telling a wildly unrealistic story, which was, ironically, the first one based on scientific fact. (As understood by a 19th C. writer anyway.)

I was looking at this version on Amazon & wouldn’t be surprised if I’m misunderstanding what the reviewer said about the footnotes. The price is reasonable enough for me to give at least the first volume a shot. It’s paperback but will have to do for now.

Thanks for your info.

I’m not understanding your objection to my objection, Greg Charles. My statement isn’t understandable unless you know the framing story, and you obviously misdsed this statement from my post just before yours:

Read for comprehension.

:slight_smile: I’m trying my best, but you’re not giving me a lot to work with!

OK, the framing story is clear that the sheik intends to sleep with her. Her stories just allow her to avoid the execution in the morning part, not the sex part. So, she tells stories in the evening, has sex with the sheik at night (after her sister is no longer there in the room!) Then they get a good night’s sleep, and the next day Shahrzahd has some leisure time to come up with another story (and take care of her kids in later years) while the sheik goes off to run the country, or whatever it was that sheiks did before there was oil. Is that multitasking? I’m sure I’m missing your point somewhere … just not sure where.

I agree with Greg. Presumably they had to sleep after the stories. So if they had time to sleep, I’m sure they had a spare ten minutes (heh) for intercourse.

I think Dunyazad (Shahrazod’s sister) slept underneath their bed.

To be fair, neither did Scheherazade (I had an English prof who objected to my pre-Google misspelling, if you can imagine such a thing in 1976). She, or her proxies, told the stories as interpreted by the writers some centuries later. As an Anthro major prying open the mysteries of Arabia of long after, I was completely screwed.