Nope, I fled to New Jersey, land of ceremonial Mafia burials.
Mystery Hill in New Hampshire pretty much embodies all of these pseudo-archeological issues (I assume you just left out the “pseudo-” part). They call it America’s Stonehenge" now to emphasize the solar alignment aspect (and to dissuade people who think it might be one of those “Gravity Anomaly” places)
They’re so convinced it has astronomical alignments that they were to considerable trouble to cut down trees to create unblocked “avenues” to observe sunrises and sunsets and the like. Nevertheless, the stones are pretty small, for the most part, and there’s nothing clearly marking the “center”, so they had some latitude in choosing where it was. I can’t say that I’m convinced that the astronomical alignments are really intentional.
The folks who “restored” the site sometimes were highly creative in rebuilding the structures. I agree that it’s not all the work of the pioneering Pattee family (as the cynics claim), and there supposedly do exist pre-reconstruction photographs showing large stone structures already in place, but I’d feel better if there hadn’t been so much interference. (Still, there’s a LOT of stonework here, some with multiton stones. Bronze age teens would have to be REALLY bored to put this together)
As for the last point, Barry Fell was convinced that he found ogham inscription here as elsewhere. Some skeptics claim the scratches are due to plows and the like, and can even identify the type of plow responsible.
So future archaeologists will judge us by our ceremonial garb: ugly Christmas sweaters? Whoa…
And the ugly Christmas sweaters are usually made of polyester (nice petroleum based product that lasts a long time). Meanwhile all the tasteful and biodegradable silks and cashmere will rot rather quickly. Just imagine what future archeologist will publish about our fashions. Shudder.
Those were worn by shamans during fertility ceremonies while playing a musical instrument consisting of metal, plastic, and wood spheres and other shapes hung from wooden or plastic tree shaped structure. Remnants of nearby hosiery indicated the shamans had enormous feet. A star shaped object on top of the musical instrument would be aligned directly between the setting sun of the winter solstice and some other nearby object.
And there’s an Elf on the Shelf in the ruins…
You will have a professor whose last name is Jones.
Yup, this fits my bill. The Hysterical Channel ran a special on this place and managed to work in Vikings and Knights Templar into the story (History Channel has a hard-on for the Knights Templar).
As a former archaeologist, this drives me batshit crazy. If you don’t know what it is and it’s bigger than a pot sherd, it must be for “ritualistic purposes!”
Oh, and I think ancient Egypt and Sumeria are cool, but I am so damn tired of how shocked people sound when something happened to have been thought of, say, in the Americas around the time or before the same thing happened in Egypt or in the Fertile Crescent. Believe it or not, there are NO (or very few) NEW IDEAS. It should not come as a surprise, for example, that people in some other land may have needed a numeric or writing system and, having the same capabilities evolution gave all of us, went crazy and actually did something about it. It pisses me off that Egypt is considered the end-all, be-all of archaeology and the metric by which every other culture is measured.
Yeah, I’m biased (my area of specialization was South American archaeology).
Regarding “ritual uses”, I agree that it too often seems like the last resort when you can’t think of anything else. Or possibly the first resort of the unimaginative. There are too many “joke” examples out there in pop culture – David MacAuley’s book Motel of the Mysteries is basically an extended joke about this, with future archaeologists trying to reconstruct 20th century culture from an excavated Motel, and branding everything wrong.
http://sultanaeducation.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Motel-of-the-Mysteries-Macaulay.pdf
In his science fiction novel **Beyond the Blue Event Horizon[/.B], Frederick Pohl has humans calling weird tech items “prayer fans” because they look like fans, they’re ubiquitous, and they can’t figure out what they’re for.
They’re ultimately identified as books.
My favorite real-life example is birdstones
I’d read about these a lot, with an awful lot of suggestions about them, mostly ascribing ceremonial uses to them. When I learned that someone suggested that they were atlatl handles, it all clicked. I even found a book on atlatls where the author suggested that a good idea for a “paleo patent” was a handle to make the atlatl easier to use. I wrote to him pointing out that such a potential device already existed. I have no doubt that the classic birdstone was, in fact, an atlatl handle, and not a fetish item tied to the front of a canoe.
Wikipedia continues:
Damn!@ They still have to throw in the “ceremonial uses”, as if that’s required. I doubt if the birdstone had any more Ceremonial Use than a firedrlll.
Atlatl, if anyone is curious:
We found a cave painting with a man in the air, flying in some sort of contraption!
Proof of “ancient astronauts”!
Proof of extraterrestrials!
Proof that the intricate architecture of the time (i.e., someone figured out how to construct something in the shape of a pyramid) was guided by an intelligence that had to come from beyond the stars!
Uh, how about Grok had some sort of imagination? Why do folks assume that fiction and fantasy and imagination are recent inventions?