Unless this shrink is very familiar with you, he has no business suggesting anti-psychotic medication. That would call for a diagnosis.
Your absolute horror that you might become addicted to anything is not rational. Since you have gone through the nightmare of addiction, I can understand why you might be afraid of taking any medication. But phobias can be overcome when it’s a good thing and one can see a reason for dealing with the phobia.
And I am familiar with how some anti-psychotic medications can cause pain worse than death – if the person taking the medication has been misdiagnosed. I had rather die than experience that again. But some medication can bring relief, not pain, to many people.
I don’t agree with that particular shrink. Maybe he doesn’t know how unbearable pain can be.
But please don’t “off” yourself, Annie.