I never really owned a dog. I do see many of the cuddly beasts outside with their owners being walked. Invariably, the owner is carrying a poop bag (unless the owner is one of those subhuman jerks). I’ve always wondered, why not teach the dog to poop in some sort of receptacle at home, like say a cat? Or do people do do this? (I loled!).
Crap I thought this was GQ!
Can some kidn mod please move, or alternatively, people can turn this into a a pit about hateful dogwoners who don’t clean up after their muts! (I prefer it were moved, however).
While it can be done, and many people train small dogs (say, under 10 pounds) to use newspaper or puppy training pads in the kitchen or mudroom or someplace, it’s usually more practical and ultimately less messy to just take the dog out. Urine is a problem, especially with a boy dog, as a leg-lifter poses problems inside the home. While cats do fine with boxes, and don’t usually kick up too much litter that goes flying, dogs are often more - exuberant - with the “I’m all done!” kicking up of dirt and grass than cats are. So a litter box equivalent would be a messy hassle.
Besides the urination issue, there’s also the part where larger dogs produce much larger stools. The smell, until it’s cleaned away, would be pretty much equivalent to a person taking a dump on the kitchen floor. It would permeate the house, and it’s disgusting.
I’ve seen plenty of tiny 5-pound or smaller dogs trained to paper or a box, but not anything bigger.
It’s not exactly the punch line, but here’s the joke.
[spoiler]A bear is in the woods, takiing a dump. He notices a rabbit behind the next bush, attending to similar business.
“Good morning, Mr. Rabbit,” says the bear.
“Good morning, Mr. Bear,” responds the rabbit.
“Say, Mr. Rabbit, I’ve been wondering,” says the bear. “Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?”
“Why, no, Mr. Bear, I’ve never noticed that being an issue for me,” replies the rabbit.
So the bear grabs the rabbit and uses it to wipe his ass.[/spoiler]
Actually, there would be some advantages in having a dog trained to poop . . . not in any particular receptacle, just . . . wherever I tell it to, indoors or out.
To continue with this slight hijack: The way I see the punchline is not that shit doesn’t stick to rabbit fur, but the rabbit led the bear to believe he didn’t have a problem with it. Otherwise, why bother using the rabbit to clean his ass if shit doesn’t stick to the rabbit’s fur?
Yes, that’s it. It seems so obvious, after all bears and rabbits take dumps together in the woods all the time, and this conversation must occur often. It may seem funny, but it’s probably beneficial to the rabbit, who will be less suitable as a meal when the bear is done.
Dogs can be trained to take a dump in a particular spot (technically known as ‘doing their business’). As a matter of fact, many dogs are driven to go in the same spot over and over, I think patterned by the scent. I used to lay out newspapers for my dogs when I would be out for a long time, and they were pretty good about using them as intended.
IIRC, a professional dog handler I know(Westminster Dog Show every year) told me that if you absolutely have to be sure the dog poops, you stick a matchstick up it’s butt.
For home use (as in, it’s fucking freezing out here, and you’re taking your sweet time) you can do the match thing a few times, and couple it to verbal command and reward.
The match is a technique we use at the ER, too. It has to be a cardboard match, you don’t want to use a wooden one that can cause punctures or splinters. Just insert, and go outside. Results within 5 minutes. We do it when the owner says the dog is having trouble eliminating but we don’t see any obvious constipation or obstipation through physical exam or xrays, but see plenty of stool in the colon. We then “match 'em” to make sure they can go, and barring any other issues they’re sent home to the tune of $150-$300.
Seeing eye dogs go on command, BTW. Don’t know if the match technique is part of the training process, but it makes sense to help them learn the command.
The match isn’t necessary. Just keep repeating commands until the event and make a big fuss when it happens. I didn’t realize that it works that way, or I wouldn’t have kept saying “potty, potty”. Now I have a usable command, but it’s a little embarassing.
