I was reading a SDMB transgender thread and wondered how things have changed over the past 15-20 years for transgendered people. About 20 years ago I read an article that a variety of “women only” lesbian centric gatherings/festivals would not accept M-F transgendered women into their ranks as they did not consider them “true” women. If they suspected they were not biological women they would not be allowed past the entrance. The maximum age for males (as kids) accompanying women bringing their children along was about 10, and some women were uncomfortable even with this.
Has this attitude changed over the years? Are lesbians fully accepting of M-F transgendered women as social equals these days?
There are a group of women who call themselves Radical Feminists (and they are often politically lesbian) who very much dislike transwomen. Mainstream feminists, in my experience, hate them and what they stand for because they give Feminism a bad name and also they are assholes.
However, I must admit that some of the worst transphobia I ever heard was from an assorted group of politically active lesbians and gay men, while out drunk after a fundraiser. It was pretty appalling to me, and since they all worked with trans activists and seemed friendly, it was also shocking. I’m in no way saying that all gay men and lesbians are secretly transphobes-- they aren’t. But even in the gay and lesbian community, there’s a lot of hate and misinformation about trans people (and bisexuals).
But mainly, TimeWinder is correct. Just like with any large and varied group, some do, some don’t. I think it’s better now than it used to be, but there’s still a very long way to go.
The Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival has for years been against anyone not ‘born’ a woman attending. The music festival started in 1976 and though there is controversy they have pretty much banned ‘Trans women’. The spelling is not a joke, see the links.
No important data to contribute, but anecdotally . . .
I have a 30s-ish friend who is a gay woman. Her only two serious relationships (beyond casual dating) have both been with transwomen- one of whom went through surgical transition during the relationship, the other of whom was pre-op for the duration of the relationship.
Blows my mind a little. To be able to be in a sexual relationship with someone who hasn’t made the full physical transition to your preferred gender, that takes some real true falling in love with the person beyond what most people are capable of.
Consider that some transgender people don’t choose to go through with surgery, crap, transgender people must have the most difficult love lives of anybody.
Of course, I kind of think my friend is an exceptional example: dating is well beyond “fully accepting as social equals”. Sometimes I think hypothetically I could do it, but I’m in touch with my own slight bisexuality. My friend most certainly does not identify as bisexual.
Every single lesbian I have met has treated me as respectfully as I’ve treated them. I have many lesbian friends, and they have always treated me as one of them (since I present as a lesbian woman). I have never been shunned, made to feel uncomfortable, or otherwise been treated as anything other than a member of their community.
But here’s the rub - for many of my trans friends, they have a very different experience. From reviewing the many conversations I’ve had, and first-hand experience, I have to say it seems to come down to this: transwomen who do not pass well give off too much of a “guy vibe”, and they are not welcomed by the lesbian community here. I pass 100%, and I and the few others who do, are welcomed.
The more I read about the dislikes between different groups and sub-groups in the GLBT communities, the more I really understand why they’ve chosen a rainbow flag to represent them. It’s got to be because they couldn’t agree on one or two colors for the thing.