I just learned a disturbing fact about the European PAL television standard.
Here in the U.S., our television standard – called NTSC for historical reasons – displays 60 interlaced fields of video (30 full video frames) per second. The European TV standard, called PAL, on the other hand, displays 50 interlaced fields (25 full video frames) per second.
Now, remember, movies are typically filmed at 24 frames per second. Thus, when it comes time for a broadcaster or a video distributor to take a movie – say, Plan Nine from Outer Space, to pick a classic, well-recognized example – and put it on TV, they are faced with a bit of a dilemma. Namely, how do you display a 24-frame-per-second movie on a 30-frame-per-second or 25-frame-per-second TV? Well, in the case of good old American NTSC, we do a neat little trick called a “2-3 pulldown,” where every other frame of film is spread over three consecutive interlaced video fields instead of the usual two fields. The effect can be a little bit herky-jerky, and a “true” movie afficionado will probably turn his nose up at the end product and insist that it doesn’t jibe with the producer’s original vision and whatnot, even if the producer were just a two-bit hack like Ed Wood who didn’t give a load of Dingo’s kidneys about what his films looked like, and besides, a 480-line-high interlaced picture with around 330 lines of horizontal resolution per screen height isn’t exactly going to be a sharp enough display to show off the grains in the original film anyway. We Yanks can get away with the 2-3 pulldown trick because 24 frames per second is a nice, round 4/5 of the 30 frames per second that NTSC is displayed at. But what happens when a European broadcaster wants to show Plan Nine from Outer Space on TV? His viewers all have PAL TVs that show 25 frames per second. 24 frames per second isn’t a nice, round fraction at all of 25 frames per second, unless you’re deranged enough to think that 24/25 qualifies as a round fraction.
So what do PAL broadcasters do with movies? They speed them up. They play them back at 25 frames per second instead of the original 24.
I have just, suddenly, realized the staggering implications of this. Every European who has seen a movie on video has been seeing it too fast! And not only will the action on screen be a little faster; in order to keep the audio track synchronized with the video, they have to speed up the movie’s audio as well. And what happens when you speed up audio? That’s right. You get the same effect as when you playt a 33 RPM record at 45 RPM. Everybody’s voice goes up in pitch.*
Think of the consequences! Everybody’s voice will sound almost a complete half-step higher in pitch. Darth Vader will sound like a high-voiced sissy. “Do-Re-Mi” in The Sound of Music will sound like it was written in the key of C-sharp instead of C. Sexy, sultry actresses will sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks – or, at the very least, like Alvin and the Chipmunks when they are a little hung over from partying all night. Ronald Reagan’s movies will make him sound wimpier, at which point the Europeans will only laugh at us even harder for having elected him President. Twice. And Every European will experience this same high-pitched shift in movie audio! They will all think it’s normal!
What is the European Economic Union going to do about this sad state of affairs? Or have they been watching movies on PAL TV for so long that they too think that all movie stars have high-pitched nasally voices? Somebody has to stand up for Hollywood, dog gone it!
[sub]*) I realize there are modern techniques that can “time compress” audio without altering the pitch. However, these techniques were only developed in the last decade or so, and I’ll bet you dollars to donut-holes (assuming they even have donut holes in Europe) that nearly all movies transferred to PAL video have merely had their audio portions sped up, pitch rise and all.