Are pregnant women really all that frail?

In My Humble Opinion
21

There’s a lot of medical conditions like this where due to a small number potentially having a problem, a rule is extended to the whole group. So a small number of pregnant women need to take it easy, e.g., if the placenta might start to come loose. Before modern tech (and not even in all cases with modern tech) you couldn’t tell which was which. So everybody gets told to take it easy.

A similar situation applies to high blood pressure. Just read a book that pointed out that at most 10% of the people with high blood pressure will actually later develop a problem due to it. But everybody gets the long-list-of-side-effects pills. (There being no test to distinguish them and no financial incentive to develop one.)

22

This is *exactly *my experience, and I’m 7,5 months pregnant. It’s worse the first few steps after getting up, but it is really noticable. It got me by surprise, because I started waddling even before I had to carry much belly weight. Before my pregnancy, I had always assumed the waddle was the result of the extra weight. Not so.

To echo others: I’m TIRED. More specific: NO ENERGY. I can badly, badly want to do something, like putting on my darned socks so I can go to the store and get something to eat. Or get rid of that pile of laundry that visually nags at me to be put away. Or to have those filthy windows cleaned that make me cry inwardly everytime I look through them. All of these are little jobs that I would have done in a couple minutes a year ago. And now I can look at the chores that need doing and they just overwhelm me. No. effing. ENERGY.

23

Please elaborate on this. Which book? For which types of hypertension does it make these statements?

24

Related thread from GQ.

25

In the earlier stages I found it really easy to pull muscles and things and end up with bad cramps in my stomach if I overdid lifting, so I am cautious about that. I’ve had small problems at various stages that made me feel less healthy at times - morning sickness for a few of the earlier weeks (mild), headaches around the midway mark (moderate), heartburn in the last couple of weeks that makes me tired because it wakes me through the night, and sometimes makes me feel nauseated.

I’m currently 38.5 weeks pregnant and everyone is on my case if I do anything they think I shouldn’t :rolleyes: but I feel good. I just have what they call Pelvic Instability, which is related to what earlier posters were saying about Relaxin - the hormone is to loosen your ligaments to help your pelvis spread to allow the baby to pass through when the time comes, but it works on ALL your ligaments (including those in your spine) so it’s very easy to throw your back out, and in my case it might have loosened my pelvis a little too much so some movements are painful. One of our antenatal classes was with a physio who told us we could still do things like vacuuming and mopping if we liked, but if we had someone who could do it for us then to let them because the repetitive motion made it more possible to do ourselves an injury because of the Relaxin. Perhaps a different physio might have thought the benefits of that exercise outweighed the risk of injury and advised differently? Who knows.

I get tired faster. If I’m on my feet a lot, they sometimes swell and that can be uncomfortable (though not painful). The Pelvic Instability makes it harder for me to sleep because my hips ache, and I have to be careful about how I swing my legs around because sometimes that hurts (getting in and out of the car for instance). Bending is difficult because there’s no flex in the centre of my body. Other than that, I feel great - in all honesty, I don’t feel fragile or in need of special treatment. So there are a few things that I can’t do as easily as I could before this enormous belly grew out in front of me… but ultimately, I feel healthy and strong most of the time and - and I think this is the key thing - I have to remember what it is I “shouldn’t” be doing sometimes because I don’t feel incapable of doing it.

For the record, I’m 31, this is my first pregnancy and it’s a singleton (not twins or greater). I was very unfit before falling pregnant and haven’t done as much exercise as I should during it, but fortunately have ranked as low risk in all areas and have no problems such as high blood pressure, diabetes, etc that might make a negative difference to my experience.

26

Just want to wish you new mommies well!

I often vent at the Dope about the [strikthru]difficulties[/strikethru] challenges of motherhood, and they are vast; but at the same time, motherhood is SO wonderful, SO amazing, SUCH a tremendous gift, a blessing! I love my children so much. I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. :cool:

Also, I really enjoyed Vicki Iovine’s books on pregnancy and the first year of motherhood. She has a chapter on post-partum depression that was a great comfort to me at 2:00 a.m.

We also swore by (not at :smiley: ) Dr. Harvey Karp’s baby soothing techniques.

27

Define “active”. Define “frail”. I feel a sense of judgement going on here, but that might just be me. :confused: To me, “active” means perhaps a walk (one or more miles) per day or so or swimming ditto. Not complete bedrest and not being a sloth, either, but not trying to be the Bionic woman, either.
3 pregnancies here.
The first one–exhausted ALL the time. (and I was in my best physical shape then: age 27, not overweight by any means; active as in renovating an old house and working FT, 12 hour night shifts, and walking everywhere). No energy–I mean, I had to take a nap every day. No way could I have run anywhere after about month 5. Had old school [del]butcher[/del] OB who gave me the world’s largest episiotomy for my smallest child. Took weeks to heal. He (the butcher) wouldn’t let me drive for 6 weeks. (!) Then I was diagnosed with hypothyroid about 8 months after I had my first child. I am still not sure if I was suffering from that during my pregnancy. Never lost the extra “baby weight” from this one.

Second pregnancy–first trimester: exhaustion. Lost 5 pounds in the 1st trimester-no nausea or vomiting (never had morning sickness ever). Napping when my daughter napped. Doing aerobics 3x/wk until the sciatica made my life hell. Could not move easily or well. He was 10lbs. 4 oz, 22 inches long. NSVD. No epidural. He broke my tailbone which took several months to repair itself (or so it seemed). Levothyroxine is a miracle drug, though–I had tons of energy after he was born.

Third pregnancy: overweight (not much, but in crap shape), suffering from depression. Running around after 2 kids. Working PT, 12 hour shifts, days. Felt sick (not nauseated, just not well-had very mild gestational DM) every minute of the nine months. Had back labor for 10 hours. Felt like hell afterwards. I was found to have microcytic anemia when #2 son was about 4 years old–maybe I had it then, too?

I’d say I felt “frail” for all 3–at least some of the time. And yet, I worked a physically demanding job (ICU nurse), and had several kids and a household to run. I know I felt more vulnerable to physical attack and knew I could not escape/fight off any possible attacker. I know I have never felt that level of fatigue, not even after moving (as in house) all day in 100 degree heat. My body forced me to lay down or I would just be down. There was no gainsaying this, no pushing through the pain or fatigue. And then there was the cervical pressure–so bad at times, I’d gasp out loud and have to sit.
So, I’d say it’s completely individual. Of course there are some out there who may run marathons (is all that lactic acid build up good for the baby? I dunno) or climb mountains(and if it means that much to you-go for it), while the rest of us would like to get some consistent mild exercise and then put our feet up and have someone rub them for us.

I, for one, refuse to feel bad (if even retrospectively) for feeling “frail” during my pregnancies. If my daughter or DILs to be (if any) feel the need for a bit of TLC and laziness–I’m there for them. Sure, I don’t want to be seen as a shrinking violet, but I also am weary of this Amazon woman can do anything even while pregnant stuff. There is no merit to doing a triaothalon(sp?) while pregnant. What does that prove? Will you do it with a baby strapped to your back the next year? Color me clueless, not snarky–I just don’t get the appeal. If you’re very active and doing well with it, you’re probably fine. If you’re pushing yourself to meet some arbitrary standard because someone told you you’re not “frail” and should be “active”, and yet you feel like hell- I say to hell with them. Tell your OB your symptoms and energy levels; never mind what Super Mom To Be is doing.

Slightly off topic, but feel the need to go there anyway: having watched any number of my friends’ husbands carry on after their vasectomies(for a whole week, even!), I say women get a bit of slack for the entire nine months that they feel their uterus is going to fall out. I sound somewhat defensive and I don’t mean to, but I’ve tried to rephrase this post to no avail. Frail is in the mind of the beholder.

And best of luck to all the expectant moms out there! It’s an unbelievable, wonderful journey.

28

Wait, I’m not pregnant…I swear!

29

As for women running marathons or tri’s during pregnancy, I recently read a story about a woman who ran a marathon at 5 months pregnant. It wasn’t that she was challenging herself or trying to be an amazon woman, but often you train and train, and then you have to qualify, plus it costs money. Non-refundable and you can’t carry your qualification to the next year. So, after all the work, if you can run it, why not take advantage of the chance?

30

If you were, I’d rub your feet for you. :slight_smile:

31

And as long as we’re giving advice, now’s as good a time as any to issue this reminder: Never, under any circumstances, unless you can actually see a baby emerging from her at that moment, assume that a woman you have just met is pregnant.

32

And on a serious note, thanks for posting this. I’m sick and tired of the expectation that women should be All Things to All People. We should “bring home the bacon, fry it in a pan, and never let him forget he’s a man!” Bullshit. Especially while we’re pregnant. We’re people too. We’re all going to react differently to different things, including pregnancy, and many of us are doing double duty with career and household already. I’m not talking about women who use pregnancy as an excuse to lie helplessly on the couch for nine months, but I’m sure that’s not nearly as common as some people are imagining.

And only somewhat related–it makes me sick when I hear about celebrities being back in the gym 48 hours post pregnancy, just because OMG! They need to look SO GREAT in two weeks for some awards show or interview. People just GUSH about how amazing it is that so-and-so is already back in wonderful shape right after pregnancy, like it’s the main responsibility of a woman after giving birth. How about spending that time with your new baby instead of your personal trainer?

33

I had my kids when I was very young–my daughter was born five months after my seventeenth birthday. I was the next thing to an elite athlete at the time I got pregnant and I continued to be extremely active during my entire pregnancy. We didn’t have a car so my primary means of transport was my bike, which I rode up until two weeks or so before delivery, with my belly resting on the bar. I walked to the grocery store with my husband–he’d carry the majority of the groceries but I’d carry the watermelon balanced crossways on my built in watermelon! I was pregnant during a Sacramento summer, which means “hot as fuck” so I spent a lot of time in the apartment complex pool, and I dived and swam until the day before delivery. I weighed 130 lbs when I got pregnant with my daughter, and 128 the day after I had her.

So I got pregnant again about six months after the first one was born, while I was still nursing. I didn’t really even know I was pregnant until I was almost halfway through and was very active during that stage. Then around six months along I just ran out of energy and started gaining more weight. I had a lot more ligament relaxation than the first time (probably because I never actually recovered from the pregnancy before I caught the second time) so I waddled more and had a lot of hip pain. My son actually dropped two weeks before he was due whereas my daughter didn’t drop until about three days before I went into labor. This made me waddle like a damned duck and after two weeks of it I hurt so bad I went to bed and said fuggit–I ain’t getting up until this brat pops out! He was two weeks overdue, the little prat, and I was so happy to finally go into labor I would’ve cheered if I hadn’t been Lamaze breathing. Giving birth in November is very different from having a summer baby, and having two kids is a lot tougher than having one. I didn’t lose the weight from #2 and lost most of my conditioning and physical strength afterward. I would’ve been a LOT better off if I’d spaced my kids further apart and given my body time to recover in between. It took years to get back in shape, with the process complicated by a nasty car accident which included a dislocated hip with fractured acetabulum–long hospitalization, even longer recovery.

So there ya go–two pregnancies, completely different experiences. Generally speaking a healthy, active woman can and should remain active during pregnancy as it facilitates delivery and makes recovery speedier. However, as in many human endeavors the best laid plans can and do “gang aft agley” and many women have conditions which preclude and circumscribe their activities. Every woman needs to decide for herself with her doctor the type and level of exercise that’s appropriate for each of her pregnancies.

34

For me the Relaxin effect became pretty obvious during my last month. Up until then I would power walk with my dogs every day. I made a point to stay active.

Then, it seemed almost over night like my pelvis, hip, and knee joints virtually disconnected. I could barely walk the stairs and I kept accidentally pulling and twisting my joints in weird ways that really hurt. I was afraid of injuring myself, and pretty much stopped exercising at that point. Even laying in bed made me feel like my hips would fall out of joint.

My belly really wasn’t that big. I could have run with it, if only my joints had functioned!

35

Regarding fatigue…

My expectations of my body are probably different to “normal” people, and I do day nap, but I’ve got to say… the tiredness I’ve experienced during this pregnancy has been nothing like the fatigue I experienced when I first became sick with glandular fever (mono) and then fibromyalgia in my early 20’s. That was utterly debilitating, all-consuming and total fatigue; so bad I dropped things because I couldn’t remember how to grip properly. My fibromyalgia has improved over the years and while I still get tired and sometimes still take day naps, it’s nothing compared to the way it was at it’s peak. During this pregnancy I’ve been more tired than I was usually pre-pregnancy and I’ve found I wear out faster, but it’s a thousand times milder than the fatigue of fibromyalgia.

I think I’ve been lucky, that it varies from person to person, and that I have a lower standard of what I expect my body to be able to handle to begin with because my health was already imperfect, but I’d say the fatigue of pregnancy is another thing that differs in severity and I feel for those who have been really knocked around by it.

36

I always felt very off-balance, after the sixth month or so. I was cautious about climbing on ladders or step-stools, but that was about it.

And I wouldn’t do long road-trips after 36 weeks, just in case. (And I had to pee every 10 minutes.)

37

1972, P, nine months pregnant, pushed a Volkswagen micro-bus from a standstill to speed enough to engage the clutch and start the engine.

38

Was this you or your mother?