I remember a new sweater I bought.
On the nylon bag that the sweater was sold in it said “Do Not Put Over Your Head”.
Who could be smart enough to think I would get the nylon bag mixed up with the sweater and try putting the wrong thing on?
Do I look the part??
Just when you think one of your threads is dead and gone…AHH! It’s a zombee!!!
My particular favorite – this was relayed to me as something that had happened to a member of my family (a distant cousin). Apparently, he was outside one day mowing his back lawn and noticed that his hedges needed trimming. So, this genetic defective (who I’m ashamed to have in my family bloodline) decides that, instead of walking all the way inside to get a pair of hedge trimmers, he would just pick up his lawn mower FROM UNDERNEATH (with his fingers under the deck of the mower) and lower it onto the top of the hedges, thus trimming them.
You can guess what happened next. Yup, the poor schlep had to learn to count to ten using his toes instead.
So what does he do? He sues the mower company and receives a settlement, as there was no warning on the mower saying ‘Do not pick up mower under the deck’. Now, you’d think that anyone with enough brain cells to keep breathing would realize that putting his fingers in any kind of proximity to whirling blades is dangerous…
<sigh> Makes me despair for the future of our country.
I saw this one on rinkworks.com, and I didn’t believe it…
On a hammer:
May be harmful or fatal if swallowed.
In the course of my employment at home depot, I checked to see if this was real.
** IT WAS!**
I should hope that whoever swallowed a hammer to get this warning label in place got what they deserved…
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God help us, yes, they are! My husband recently found this gem on a microwave entree:
“If product is not heated to your liking, continue heating to desired temperature”.
My personal favorite (on a bag of peanuts)
“Remove shell before eating”.
DUH!!!
The tag on my hair drier has all the requisite warnings not to leave it plugged in, not to operate near the tub, etc., and “Do not operate while sleeping.” I’m not sure I wanna know what prompted that one. Is sleep-hair-drying becoming as common as sleep-walking and -talking?
On the instruction pack for changing a tire: Do not attempt to drive the car while it is supported on the jack.
My favorite has always been the instructions on how to open the candy bar wrapper: “Tear to open” (it’s a bit of a paraphrase - haven’t had a candy bar in a couple of months).
Next time, I’m going to try soaking the wrapper off. You know, just to be difficult.
I’m not really a celebrater of Mardis Gras, but I had to buy a King Cake I saw at the grocery store yesterday just so I could bring the package home to show my husband.
It was marked “Choking Hazard: Caution! Non-edible baby inside this cake”
And I was hoping for the edible kind…
I have two favorites:
I once spied the following instructions on a wet-nap package (you know, those pre-moistened towelette thingies that you get at restaurants when they’ve served you something greasy): “Tear open packet and use.” Well, golly gee. I’m so silly!! I was trying to de-grease my hands with the unopened package…it never occurred to me that there might be something useful INSIDE!!
I’m sure everyone’s familiar with the standard cardboard envelope that FedEx provides for shipping. I’m not talking about the mylar envelope, or the box…just the standard package that’s intended for a few sheets of paper and nothing more. Printed near the sealing edge is the following warning: “Do not ship blood or other bodily fluids in this packaging.” Well, NO SHIT. The sad thing, as others have pointed out, is that this warning is obviously there because some bonehead tried to do that very thing.
I swear…some people are just industrial-grade stupid. :rolleyes:
Kill moose.
Cook until done.
I received this bit of advice from my father some years ago, and man, am I ever glad he told me…
I once visited a location in Scotland that was adjacent to a military weapons range. There was no fence on the property border, oddly enough, but there were signs that read:
WARNING
DO NOT PICK UP ANY OBJECT YOU MAY FIND
IT COULD EXPLODE AND KILL YOU
Actualy that sounds like a pretty damn good warning to me…
It really does my heart good to see this old thread do so well after such a long dormancy.
Thank you all. Anyone else out there see any stupid warnings?
I have a toaster that came with the warning: CAUTION: DO NOT USE THIS PRODUCT IN AN OVEN which left me saying “huh?”
I’m pretty certain they don’t mean for ME not to be in the oven while I’m using the toaster, because I wouldn’t fit.
So does this mean someone decided to speed up the toasting process by placing the toaster in a hot oven? Were they that eager for toast that they thought it had to happen in less time with more heat?
Not because it’s stupid, but because it’s blunt. Seen at Loch Ness:
WARNING
THE LOCH IS 600 FEET DEEP AT THIS POINT
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
As for stupid, there are old warning posters in the metro here that say “Do not walk in the tunnels.” Dammit, there go my plans for the weekend…