I currently have 3 favorites, two “duh” and one “huh?”
The first one is the way that every cereal or cracker box you ever saw has the same two “duh” instructions, or variations thereof: “Lift Here to Open” and “Tuck to Reclose”. Now, I am forty-something years old, and I have been opening and closing cereal and cracker boxes literally ALL my life, so let’s say it’s been at least 35 or 40 years that these things have been around. How long does it take for a Society to learn how to operate something? How long was it before they stopped putting “Push Here” buttons on TV sets? Or “Insert Key Here” labels on car ignitions? Answer: they never did. So, how much collective smarts do we need as a society to figure out how to operate a cracker box? Is it possible there are still some Seniors out there, who grew up in an era before packaged foods, who still don’t know how to get the Frosted Flakes open?
The second one is the way virtually every frozen food package or can of something will say, somewhere, “Refrigerate or discard any unused portion.” No kidding? You mean I shouldn’t just let it lay out on the counter all week until somebody feels like eating it?
The third one is the label of the Healthy Choice 99% Fat-Free Soups, which says, in part, “This meal is not a cure for heart disease…” Huh? Oh, shoot, and here I thought I was gonna clear up Grampa’s ticker trouble by feedin’ him the right kind of soup…