I was in a public restroom today and there was an electric hand dryer, with the typical instructions printed on it. How long have they been printing instructions on these things? Does anyone not know how to use them?
I know that a lot of comedians have the same routine about seat belts on airplanes - that the flight attendants shouldn’t need to explain how to buckle them any more.
Any other stuff out there that shouldn’t need explaining?
Pants.
Toothpicks (we’ll miss you, Mr. Adams), Toothpaste, Shampoo, etc…
There is one thing that should absolutely come with a full set of instructions, Corporate Lawyers. They should have the following instructions printed on the backs of their suits:
Usage:
Don’t.
Warnings:
When mixed with their frivolous-law-suit-filing counterparts, serious complications can arise. Keep away from children, pets, or anything else with a smidgeon of common sense. Keep away from disposable lighters, aspirin bottles, bags of peanuts, curling irons, mattresses, and electrical outlets. Do not let them: iron their clothes while wearing them, pour hot coffee in their laps, use gasoline to start a campfire, or stick a toothpick anywhere other than their mouth. If you find they have consumed something edible, induce vomiting immediately.
Lemon scented individually wrapped moist towelettes.
Wet Nap…you know, those little packaged moist wipes that you get in places like KFC where a dry napkin just won’t cut it for cleanup?
Believe it or not, there are instructions on these things:
“Tear open packet and use.”
Well golly…I was tearing open the packet and throwing it away. No wonder I couldn’t get my hands clean. :rolleyes:
Shampoo. I mean really.
Peanut packets. Open. Then eat. I’m not going to suddenly stuff them up my nose.
Of course, I don’t eat peanuts period, so there’s no danger of that. .
Hair spray.
I guess condoms. I mean, where else can you put it.
So you never saw those “It’s just like putting on a sock” ads, huh?
You know what they say about men with condom-sized feet.
The warning on silica packets used as dessicants–“Warning, do not eat.”—
If you’re old enough to read, and you need this warning, the world may be better off without you!
Those sun-shields you put in the windscreen of your car :
“WARNING - remove before driving.”
personally I enjoy spending copious amounts of time figuring out how to work things around my house. I don’t read the instructions to the VCR. I sit there pressing buttons and seeing what they do. Samething on the computer so I say let them all go. Except maybe medicine, I read those.
It sure does seem like there a lot of gratuitous instructions out there, but I guess the manufacturers are trying to forestall any legal action! Cause you know how the American public (in particular) can be: litigous and vengeful. I bet a lot of companies have been bitten by frivolous lawsuits, so they have to over-instruct all of us.
This one has always bothered me too. What kind or moron finds this packet in the box that their new shoes came in and thinks: “Oh how nice! The people at Nike included a little snack with my new track shoes”?
“What kind or moron finds this packet in the box that their new shoes came in and thinks: ‘Oh how nice! The people at Nike included a little snack with my new track shoes’?”
But these packets do get taken OUT OF THE BOX and left on the table when you take the merchandise out of the box. And when you throw the box and the wrapping paper away, one or two may be left sitting on the table with no context of having been packing materials. It doesn’t take a moron, or even a person of slightly-less-than-average intelligence, to mistake a white packet filled with white crystals sitting on the kitchen table (what, you’ve NEVER opened boxes from the store at the kitchen table?!) for a leftover salt packet from a takeout joint.
Hey, John! No fair introducing logic here! This is IMHO, not GD! 
OpalCat wrote:
I agree. And they’re incomplete:
“Lather. Rinse. Repeat.”
It’s an infnite loop! They don’t tell you when to stop.