I just looked down at my computer keyboard for the 1000th or so time and for the 1000th or so I have seen this label.
WARNING: Some experts believe that the use of any keyboard may cause serious injury. Consult statement on back of this keyboard.
Of course this is the corporeal tunnel syndrome warning that companies are now afraid they could be sued for. ( ahhh geezz I think my wrist is hurting even now.) ok if you have the syndrome I ain’t making fun of you but this warning seems a bit silly to me.
There’s a warning on the back of the sun visor in my car about the seat belts. At the bottom of this warning, there is yet another warning “Do not read this warning while driving.”
The instructions on toothpicks are kinda stupid. (Hence Wonko the Sane…) but warning tags- the tag on blowdryers that says “Do not use while in sleep.” The pathetic part is obviously somebody tried it…
Oh yah, and the warning on McDonald’s coffee due to some silly old lady (no offense intended, but geez!)… “Warning: Coffee may be hot”…
DUH!
My own personal favorite? It comes on an Alka Seltzer box. “Dissolve in water before taking.” Can you imagine the poor boob that popped one in his mouth and chewed, with no clue as to what would happen? Eye opening experience, I would think.
Also. Dissolve in WATER? Why? If you put one in a glass of Coke, does Russia go Defcon one? Do they call out the EPA?
It’s my first post. Have pity on me. And fear the followups.
Also, I’ve noticed that a lot of frozen microwavable food has warnings that it may be hot after heating.
As to the warning not to stop a chainsaw with the hands or genitals, does that mean it’s okay to stop it with other body parts? If some doofus decided to stop the chainsaw with her head, could her relatives sue?
Y’know, the first two times I read this, I SWORE it said “may be hot after eating.”
That, of course, left me wondering, “How would they know?” Do they get test subjects to eat the stuff, and then jam long-reach RTD probes down their esophagus to measure the stuff while it’s in their gut? Heaven forbid, do they come at it the other way?!?! :eek:
My personal faves in this arena are the ones on the back of a bottle of tequila (or the like). If anything, I think these lean towards understatement. Yeah, yeah, birth defects, heavy machinery … let’s talk about how you’re going to ACT, and all the s**t you’re going to regret you ever SAID. Come on!
LOL Jack Batty (BTW didn’t know thats where you sig came from, thats priceless), Crunchy Frog and Asmodeon methinks are lying. LOL Please tell me you’re lying!!
I was in the US Army. I was a crewmember in an M1A1 Abrams tank. The Technical Manual for Army vehicle includes the most basic instructions imaginable. For “Entering Loader’s Hatch” it adds “always enter feet first”. Fron the hatch to the turret floor, it’s about a 5 1/2 foot drop. I shudder at the thought of someone diving in.
The TM for the Humvee tells operatores to “check for presence and inflation of tires” before driving.
Ugh. It’s hard to imagine someone just thinking of these two scenarios out of the blue. Did someone really dive into the turret? Drive off with only 3 wheels/tires??? (I don’t want to contribute to the vast pool of Urban Legends. I have no idea if it happened)
As suggested, most of these come from lawsuits. One that comes to mind was ther person who jammed a screwdriver through his hand while trying to open a can of paint. In court, it was argued that the screwdriver tip broke off causing it to slip and the resulting sharp edge skewered the dude’s hand.
Corporate defense was that the screwdriver was not used for its intended purpose. Screwdrivers are made and tested for torsional strength - twisting - not prying. Because the person misused the tool, the company was not liable.
Plaintiff rebuttal was that the EVERYONE uses screwdrivers to pry open paint cans, thus the corporation should have anticipated this and made screwdrivers that would not break with prying.
Guess what… court found in favor of the plaintiff.
I just wanted to say that’s damn funny!
Also, what about those frozen desserts with the note on the underside of the packaging that says “Do Not Invert”?
