Enough with the warnings!

It seems like everything I buy nowadays comes with ridiculously insane warning attached to it. Just off the top of my head I can think of the following:

Deodorant: Do not use on broken skin

Shaving Cream: Avoid spraying towards open flame

Talcum Powder: Avoid contact with eyes

Hand lotion; Do not swallow

Toothpaste: If you accidentally swallow more than intended blah blah…

Matches: Strike away from face

Pain Relievers: Do not exceed recommended dosage…if condition remains unchanged after a few days see a doctor

Garbage Bags: Can cause suffocation

Staples: Keep out of reach of children

On Planes: Read instructions to buckle seatbelt
And on and on and on…I’m sure you can come up with hundreds more. Are we becoming a nation of idiots? Is suing on behalf of sheer stupidity the national pastime? Why do we need to be told these things? If you’re dumb enough to do any of the above…what makes anyone think you’ll bother reading the warning labels first?

Oh, yeah…those paper napkins at the diner? Don’t eat them :rolleyes:

My personal favourite was the warning on the paint stripper saying “this device not to be used as a hair dryer.”

Hello? Someone would actually point a paint stripper at their head?!? Feel the burn, baby!

My fav is the one on my best friend’s curling iron. “For external use only.”

Cashew nuts…may contain nuts

oh really?! :rolleyes:

Maybe someone thought a heated dildo would be nice? :eek:

Here’s your sign.

(One of my favorite comedy bits, to be sure, the favorite being the one about the exhaust pipe.)


“Yeah, honey, I know that plastic can get cold, but why don’t you just use your hands to warm it up?!”

No, we’ve become (or always have been) a nation with some idiots in it. One idiot points a paint stripper at her head, or one idiot loses a limb from using deodorant on broken skin, and then files suit against the manufacturer for “negligence” or “failure to warn.” So now Mennen or Gilette or whoever puts a warning label on the product so that the next time someone loses an arm they can’t tap the deep pocket because they’ve been warned right there on the package.

I believe this was mentioned on the Snopes board-some wife getting back at her cheating husband by tying up, face down, sticking her curling iron in his ass, then plugging it in before she left.


Speaking of signs. This song popped into my head when reading your post.

I believe that there are way too many warnings and signs, where, common sense should be the rule.

Ooh! Ooh! But my favorite warning is with my “Car Shade” – you know, that thing you put in your windshield to keep the sun from coming in and thus keep the car a little cooler?

Of course, in big red letters, it says, “Do not drive while sun shield is in place.”

Dang. A guy can’t have any fun.

People, people. These are not laughing matters.

Why a friend of a friend of a guy my mom used to know, knew a woman who had a friend whose son donned a Superman costume, and then jumped off the roof. The little tyke broke his little leg.

They did get compensation from the costume company, but if they had only put some sort of warning on the box, this tragedy would have never occured.


Over the summer I bought my kid a blow up ring that looked like a duck. The warning was: This product is not edible.

Fair enough. But I think some manufacturers actually use the warning as a selling point. Case in point, how else would you explain the following caution found on Viagra® ?

"An erection that lasts longer than four hours requires prompt medical attention."

Laywers playing games and making money?

Uh-Oh. Is this true even if you didn’t take any Viagra?

DaLovin’ Dj

I hope your leg is better.


Of course, the Master already covered this topic in [url=“http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_102b.html”]this column**.


Let’s try this again. [url=“http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_102b.html”]this column](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_102b.html).

Preview is my friend.


Knife: Caution Sharp
Water: Caution Wet
Ice: Caution Icy
My wife’s great aunt is 85 years old. A while ago she bought a hair-dryer. She was so freaked out by all the warning labels that she packed it up and took it back to the store.

Thanks for the link, TruePisces. That album never fails to bring me to my knees laughing.